ethereal :
All (unintentional) thoughts are coming from this primordial energy source underlying the thought, right prior to the thought coming into form. If you look within you can trace the thought back into that energy source from which it came from. For example, when a fearful thought comes up, it is coming from this fountain of fearful energy in your consciousness.
What you do is to just unhook yourself from attaching to that energy, through awareness. Keep your awareness on that energy, and just sit with it until it dissipates little by little. When that energy runs out, the thoughts that spawn from it will also cease automatically.
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A lot has been going lately. I got more and more mentally unstable as I was struggling with my parents. It was the same time I wanted to quiet down my brain. I used all themethods in the book, being aware all the time, loving myself. All failed and seemed to go nowhere. Finally something snapped in me. I realized all thoughts are reasons. All reasons do nothing. Ultimately I am an emotional being. All my actions/inactions are determined on feelings. If the feeling hasn't changed nothing has changed.
I looked deep down in myself. I connected with the pain and went through doyletics down the most painful feeling. Each year seemed like a couple years and I struggled and cried. I understood what this feeling is about. I didn't ask it, I just understood. I never felt loved by my parents. I always wanted to be hugged but that never came. That feeling developed when I was 1. From that point I used all my energy and mental effort to determine why they don't hug me and how I can be hugged. Finally I understood it is their problem and really there is nothing I can do about it. It is not about me. They are sick people. I feel at peace now and all techniques work now.
Meditation on "I am" is fucken money. I actually lucid dreamed using it. I am always aware!!! There is no such thing as being uncosncious.
I'm start to reconnect and feel more desire now to be king and have lots of women. The feeling of wanting one woman is fading away and I want them all again. I'm waiting for that pull of sex energy. I realized yesterday when listening to player supreme that I must DO. It's all about doing. Reasoning is complete bollocks, I'm detachng myself from it day by day. Finally I will only be left with feelings and intuition. Only my heart will remain. Remain will only DO. DO, DO , DO.
From shy guy to don juan. Daily experiences.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage."
