Shy Breaker 2

I was trying to get the "Are you single?" line used today to break my psychological barrier. After a few hours in the field I didn't do anything. Although I really hyped myself up and felt very confident the whole day I failed. In the morning I greeted and delivered jokes to girls that I know but didn't really talk to before. I felt like a kid doing it but it wasn't because jokes are childish. I have to know my purpose when delivering jokes to girls and it will be fine. Realizing after the joke that I wanted to create attraction is wrong, realize first.
The previous day ended with positive visualizing hypnosis and the album "Oceanic". In the morning and through out the day I was constantly motivating myself. The power of the mind is enormous. I am really good at this now. In a few minutes I can completely change my attitude with techniques like reframing, affirmations, praying (this was a new one I should write about it later). I've come up with a really good motivation line and shy-breaker (more below). After some hours and spending time at the pool and having fun with friends I really got into a happy state. I felt extremely confident. I made a cashier girl smile twice. This is really big, because I did something that I wanted always to happen. And it was a girl I really catched an eye for. I felt NO awkwardness or nervousness. Notice that I'm not writing nearly anything negative. Think positive.

Now for the shy-breaker. I've come up with two shyness eliminators within two days. Either it is a coincidence, the affect of the shy-and-free website, or/and something is changing inside my brain (I got to have more sleep so it settles in for good).
This tip is something that came from Simon "the fag", from the movie "As good as it gets". It wasn't exactly this, but it was a good motivation line for Jack Nicholson's character to go talk to Carol "the waitress". The thing is you have to give yourself permission to make a fool out of yourself. You must take the chance and accept that you will get humiliated. It's the same principle as from shy-and-free - can you go up to a girl and make the most awkward conversation ever? Sure you can so do it!

" SIMON
You know who you want. I'll take
your seat any day. So do
something... don't sleep on it...
go over there. I don't think
anybody should ever sleep on
anything -- it's not always good
to let things calm down.

MELVIN
Hey... I'm charged here. But she
might kill me for showing up this
late.

SIMON
Then get in your jammies and I'll
read you a story... I think you've
got a chance. The only real enemy
you have is her ability to think
logically -- the best thing you
have going for you is your
willingness to humiliate yourself
if it gives you one chance in
whatever -- so go catch her off-
guard.

MELVIN
Okay. Thanks a lot. Here I go.
"

This gave me a real confidence boost. I was able to maintain eye-contact with smirks and have fun with it. I should use it to approach a girl also though. So the thing to do is:
0. Let's say I have a goal to deliver a pick-up line to a girl. I don't care about the outcome I'm just learning.
1. I think of what and how I am going to say it. I mentally rehearse it.
2. I give myself permission to humiliate myself. I realize that nothing bad will happen when this occurs.
3. I stop thinking and go out in the field. This is the time for auto-pilot, I trust my instinct, intuition and unconscience. If I spot a girl and I get a gut-level feeling "this is it", the only conscience thought is "OK, this is it, I know I will do it". I move my legs, I move my lips, I move my hips. The rest is history.

I'm still trying to break the barrier and approach a girl with sexual intentions. Maybe I should make a step back and use "Hi's"?. Or try this new line:
"Excuse me, are you the kind of person I should get to know better?"

Tip: I saw a girl today that was picking music CD's in the genre that I like. She was cute and I felt like she was cruising around me to catch my attention. Of course I didn't do anything, I didn't even look at her. Where did I go wrong?
I was thinking.
In a split of a second I made assumptions about her, I transmitted feelings about people I know on to her and I was thinking "wow this is a really great girl". But you know what? I knew shit about her. The only way to find out what she is like is to talk to her. Because I was assuming that she is "so great" I didn't want to approach her because I thought she is too genuine and unique to do so. I felt really low status, I forgot about the higher-status frame, but worst of all I was thinking. It was all in my head. Again, I have to get out of my mind.

Reciprocity

Last night I made a self-hypnosis session using the album "Songs of distant earth". I was positively visualizing encounters with girls and it seemed to trigger something in me today. Although I didn't have a real opportunity I used with success this idea:

Let your testosterone drive you. The sexual frame works wonders. I can maintain eye contact and "towards" manner if I think sexually about the target. The focus is on communicating through body language that you are interested. It works good for me because I stop thinking about what to say. I'll use this more tomorrow and I must see how a conversation will look like after applying this on a target.

Tips from "David Deangelo - Ask Me Anything Vol1 - Sexual Communication":
CAPITALIZE on your strength (humour, facial language)
break the weakness into chunks (physical contact -> start with holding hands)

Have I discovered the secret of not being shy? I think so. The difference between a shy person and not shy is that the second one doesn't think about his social actions. A shy person thinks about how?, what? and worst of all if?. The opposite doesn't think at all or thinks only about when?. The difference is in knowing you will do it and trusting yourself. So a shy person might apply this by not thinking about his actions. Either when a shy thought comes just push it away and do your thing or if it is really bothering use NLP techniques to make it small, or distract yourself and just keep in mind your main goal.

I must apply this stuff tomorrow because I will have the opportunities and after tomorrow I won't have that many.

Tip: Create an emotion inside other people. It is the only way to make friends and girlfriends.

Idea from the book "Psychology of Influence":
Reciprocity rule. People are unlikely to reject a second offer if it is smaller than the first one. For example: ask a girl if she would like to go out with you now, if she says no just ask about the phone number.

EMOFree works

In the morning I used EMOFree technique a couple of times with the topic of:
- talking to strangers anxiety
- loosing control
later during the day
- social anixety

I felt very socially anxious during the first half of the day. Although I felt very confident and sexually aware. The anxiety was totally out of the blue, cause I overcome it, but it was a pain all day until I met a friend with whom I have great rapport but whom I don't really like. Talking with him seemed to destroy the anxiety.
I received great eye contact with an HB in a shop, which never looked at me before. It must be my cap (it's a chick magnet). I felt like she is the best person in the world, just because she looked and smiled at me. If I felt like that, for sure I can do that to other people and they will think that way.
I asked something a woman in the tram. I'm glad I finally spoke to someone in that place. The belief that people don't hear me in a loud environment is BS. It was funny, because before I did it I didn't feel fear. But I wanted to feel fear so I could learn to overcome it. The fear was never present there. EMOFree works whether I like it or not.

Either the fear is there or not if you believe you'll do it you will do it for sure.

I must work on voice control. More mature voice comes when I feel higher status. But it works both ways, so always remember to control the voice, that will also remind me of the high status frame.

Journal start

This journal has started from a direct inspiration, after visiting the website http://www.shyandfree.com. I will post my daily experiences from the ongoing learning process of transforming myself from a shy guy to a don juan. That is my ultimate goal.

Best notes from shyandfree.com:

- When I feel social anxiety or any kind of shyness, don't think about overcoming it but think what other part of your personality you can use here.

- Trust the universe instead of attempting control.

- Work on the other parts of you that you are not stuck in:
(I'm stuck in the mind, I must develop body - RUNNING, dancing
spirit - more music)

- Gold: Think about the easiest stuff to do. Don't try to be perfect. Can I walk up to a girl and just talk about nothing? Of course I can.
Can you engage in the lamest conversation ever? Can you ask someone out in the most awkward, self-conscious way? Can you go on the worst date in the world? Of course you can and doing so will change your life for the better.

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3 things to say about me.
3 things to say about the current events.
3 things to say about the environment and feelings.
3 things to say about the other person.

Me
x is important to me
I love y
I look forward to z

The Community and World
x happened in the world today
y happened in community today
A pattern of z seems to be happening around us
Ask
What is important to them?
What do they love?
What do they look forward to?

Remember to stay present and notice what is happening in your environment.
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