Rethorics

I need to work on my rethorics. I can toss something in my mind all day long,
repeating it and confronting new ideas and discussing it in my head. But when
it comes to saying it I just get bundled in a bunch of emotions. I try to
release them but it's just too much. I feel exhausted today with arguing with
my parents. I can't really express myself. The best advice I can give to
myself is ust to not know what I'm going to say. Stop thinking about it. Just
focus on your feelings and comfortable body language in the moment and then
just focus, be ready. Attention is key. Attention on the listener, not on what
you want to say.

Accept how you are NOW

OK, she's 17. I was on the course, I went out on the break to try to chat up some dudes. I failed, I was afraid. So I went back and I stumbled upon her. A couple years ago this would be a situation where I would smile and walk pass by. Now I just naturally started talking with her. The convo wasn't so smooth, we were both nervous. She disqualified herself nearly immediately saying how old she is. Well I don't have any romantic interests in her now, she's just something fun that happened to me. The sexual tension between us is unbelievable, "the Office" style. She did some courage in front of me and got up in front of the class becoming the center of attention. I started staring at her and what I did to her was just unbelievable. She noticed me with the corner of her eye and just couldn't stop smiling. I could see how she wants to force herself to stop doing that. Then her hands started shaking. I feel so powerful, and yet I feel responsible and I led the situation and I feel great now. Very fun vibe between us, I'm glad I did this.I wanted to chat up some dudes, well I did that also later on.
The secret of my todays success is I believe these things:Yesterday I did the same hypno session as the day before and watched David X. I wrote 2 goals: fun talk with a stranger, fun talk with this girl. Accomplished. Writing the goal works wonders, if I believed in LoA I would say this was intention manifestation. I released about 3 emotions (this is something that always works and I always forget, except when I succeed). I constantly was FOCUSed and built in myself a positive state. Imagining yourself fucking her is so powerful, it makes you do stuff. All my life I believed in "love". Imagining my desire in the context of love got me nowhere. Thinking about fucking her just makes my body move. It's like you're thinking "love" - your body says: what? what's that?. If you're thinking of mounting her ass - your body says: oh that's what you want to do OK.

All is fine but here is the most important lesson.I fear of having an awkward encounter with a stranger, because I believe I will lose them because of it. I feel like I'm inadequate and unworthy if my first conversation isn't brilliant. I believe it has to be perfect. All my social actions in new environments are dictated by this. I must be sharp, everything is calculated. That is why I fear just talking. I hate to have a normal conversation. I realized this when I spoke to her. I deeply inside knew it was going to be like this. And here is the revelation: it's OK! It's OK to have an awkward conversation, you're strangers afterall! And you would have to be superhuman to act cool when dealing with this sort of sexual tension! And after that you are no longer 2 strangers, you have shared a moment, a moment of awkardness! THIS BRINGS YOU CLOSER! And that might not even be true, it may be awkard for you but not for her. Or it can be awkward for her and not for you, but you will relieved for doing it and later it will be good.Everything turned out great and I only gained. The belief of a perfect first conversation is false. The real power of doing this is ACCEPTANCE. Of course I discovered this a long time ago but of course I forget. If I accept that my first encounters will not be perfect and I will just do my best and accept that I may lose or may not lose this person is OK. I ACCEPT THAT. This is the only way of breaking comfort zones and the only way for personal growth. You can't battle fear by focusing on it. You must not try to convince yourself and battle the fear. It just gets stronger. You must find a backdoor. That backdoor is acceptance. Mystery is wrong. NLP is wrong. Everyone is wrong. You must bite fear in it's tail, don't let it face you! If you fear of getting rejected, just accept that you will be rejected and then try to do your best.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS, JUST ACCEPT HOW YOU ARE NOW AND THEN DO YOUR BEST.

The penis brain

I'm still on my mental diet. Yesterday I listened to a subliminal shyness track and then social phobia hypnosis tape. I went to a whole day driving course today. I didn't have any specific goals, just decided to train FOCUS. When I got there I sat in a place that draws attention (near the food and coffee). I was all relaxed and alpha-comfy (new term lol) and then this girl came in and sat in front of me. When she saw me she just had this OMG look on her face and a big smile (yes it was on). She is unbelievably cute and I instantly felt horny for her. I knew it was on so I instantly assumed rapport with her. I didn't speak to her but we shared a few smiles and jokes. I did an extremely good joke for everyone near the food and she was cracked up. If I wouldn't feel so goddamn sleepy maybe I would be more active and follow it up with something. Anyways it was great.
I realized one thing: why you shouldn't place extreme value on a good outcome.
This seems like a bible thing but there is a psychological basis for it. It's simple, if you are proud of your success you will attach excessive meaning to it and hence you will fear losing it. This brings you to hell, because on the surface you are succesful but really you're fearful.\

Now I tried analyzing this girl. My logical brain came up to these conclusions: she's too young (she looks like she's 16, I don't now how old she really is, knowing life she's 21), she wears clothes like from the beginning of the decade (this is really strange, nobody dresses like her), she might be sexually not aware. I realized these are all assumptions and I should ditch them if I want to have any success with her. All my life I have made assumptions using my logic and it brought me knowhere. So I made an agreement to use my penis brain. He really wants to fuck her. I will let him do the work. But we must join forces because he doesn't really know what to do. He doesn't know that you have to approach her first and show interest. So for tomorrow I agreed to get into a state of power/focus, sit next to her and start a fun conversation. Just have fun with her and let my desire for her shine on.

When sitting there today I used both FOCUS and concentration as described by J. Krishnamurti (awareness of everything instead of dividing stuff trying to concentrate) which is also a state I call Actor Ready (a similar state described in an actors training book).

So FOCUS to accomplish goals (like staring, talking), in a group and be prepared
all the time to be witty and funny, by being in Actor Ready.

Now I need to watch more David X because if I don't change my state tomorrow I will fall into my default patterns.

1 YEAR

Exactly one year ago I started this journal. It happened directly after
reading this web page: http://www.shyandfree.com/ and after failing miserably
to interact at a club party.

Time for an evaluation on what milestones I did during this year:

- I have completely refashioned my looks (clothes, hair)
- I gained 22lbs after joining the gym furthering my manly looks
- I got my first number close
- I established a habit of going out and breaking comfort zones
- I got my first girlfriend for 2 months
- I got my first kiss
- I established a habit of improving myself with self-help and seduction
material
- I got my first lap dance
- I became enlightened (I realized the duality of my
nature)
- I made a decision to become a man and follow my dreams

That's pretty much for one year. I predicted back then that it will be just
like my guitar learning. I will need 1 year to achieve results and 2 years to
become good at it. To become a master I will need 5 years. Everything is going smoothly. When you live day to day you see only your struggle, but an evaluation like this is really satisfying. I can't wait to see what the future brings.

A forgotten song by Cat Stevens. Expresses everything I feel at this moment of my life.

Father and Son

Father
It's not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, thats your fault,
Theres so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.
I was once like you are now, and I know that its not easy,
To be calm when youve found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.
Son
How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
Its always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.
Father
It's not time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
You're still young, thats your fault,
There's so much you have to go through.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.
(son-- away away away, I know I have to
Make this decision alone - no)
Son
All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them you know not me.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.
(father-- stay stay stay, why must you
go and
Make this decision alone? )

The man I was ment to be

18.1.2007, Thursday. This was the day I let the world know about my most important decision in life. Its not PU related so I won't write about it. There is a lot of pressure upon me, everybody is against me. I hope this will make me a man. Or maybe I have become A MAN already.

Clubbin'

Next time I'm in a club I will... These are also things I did wrong yesterday.

- don't think
- act on what you want immediately, there is no better moment than this moment
- don't think
- who cares what they think
- cut the indirect bullshit, it is only good if you have time (like 10 days)
- release emotions (!!! this works, why don't I use it)
- have basic conversations rehearsed, have one good story about yourself to tell
- have a prepared routine (story, trick) to train if no targets are available, just for fun

The X method

A new method is being born.

Just 2 steps.

I. What do you want?

II. Who gives a shit what they think.

This is the absolute secret of getting anything you want.

Mastery

I feel like the master of my fate today.The staring at chicks and getting them to notice me works tremendously well. I don't think I've ever done something as succesful. What will be the next step? Maybe assuming rapport and just staring at them and then starting to say whatever?

-----------------
David X, Be relentless:
"Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady.Cause that's reality"
-----------------

The absolute key to mastering anything: At every point appreciate and feel good about your current state.(this applies to bodybuilding and guitar in my life, I am progressing in these fields because I don't feel better than the state before, I am always enthusiastic about my current state as if it was the goal, however there always is the ultimate goal in the back of my head)

Give a fuck about what they think!

I went out with the intention of making a difference. That is showing myself that I'm looking at people. I first got out and just made eye contact then I forced myself to look at girls. The thing I do: move head along with the eyes (it's more frightening this way, more exposure) look at them all the time until they pass or give eye contact back .I did this a couple times although not without a struggle. I had to get rid of some massive and tricky excuses. Everything and I MEAN everything that comes up to you and says you can't do it is a lie and excuse. The excuses are very tricky and clever, they are disguised. Sit down and review everything until you feel good about the thing you are going to do then just do it. No excuses. I feel great because I did this today. I am slowly beginning to give a real fuck about what other people think. I see this as the root of all problems. I will never do anything PU related, no amount of learning, reading and even approaching will bring me anywhere I want if I am even the slightest concerned about what people THINK!!!

Slowing down time is a blast. This works, I just imagine a movie effect of slowing down time and remembering of not being reactive. Simply observing (attention J. Krishnamurti style).
Funny thing I thought about today: What will be my reaction if she says something to me? No reaction.

----------

Ranko: Excuses will block blood supply to my brain and I will not think. This is what happens when I have nothing to say. I am just not comfortable with the situation so my thinking is not clear. I must become comfortable, destroy all excuses. One way of doing this is to deliberately not say anything, just stare at a girl and notice, observe the tension inside of you. Become comfortable with that feeling.

Simply observe

I was reading J. Krishnamurti and I realized how change occurs. Change occurs by obervation. The simple act of observing changes the reality. Not concious change and struggle. The organism can change itself but it must have feedback, a mirror to look upon. So I will now dedicate my time to simple observation of myself, my thoughts, my emotions in social situations. I must grow the amount of time I use to respond to people. Answer only after observing and assessing eveyrything. I must see how I work in order to change myself.

--------------------------
Carlos Xuma:
I’m about to give you the exact words to a foolproof opener that you can use
injust about any situation. Memorize this and repeat it until you can say it ten
times fast:
"Hi, I'm just meeting new people today. I thought you might be interesting to
talk to.What's your name?"

---------

Killswitch, my new guru:
" want to get this tattoed on me somewhere:

My confidence is MINE, and I WILL NOT give it away.

This means not investing it in ANYONE or ANYTHING..
relationships are for building rewarding lifestyles, they are not for making
me more confident."

This is awesome. How to build confidence? DON'T LOSE IT. Your confidence is
already there, it is your inner strength. If you don't have confidence it is
because you have given it away. Don't give it away and your confidence will be
yours.

This explains everything. My explanation of the 4 agreements of don miguel ruiz:

1. Be inpeccable with your word
- Do not build false confidence. You don't have to do it, you already have your confidence. There is no need to deprecate others.

2. Don't make assumptions
- Do not place confidence in ideas and abstractions.

3. Don't take anything personally
- Do not let your confidence be dependable on other people. Don't give it away it is YOURS.

4. Always do your best
- Do not place confidence in your own ability. You can be confident and fail.

X mode

I listened to Hypnotica, then to my hypno tape. Then I watched Fight Club.

I came to the conclusion, that X Mode, this mode of empowerment is a state of
mind. A state of mind where you feel everything is possible. I get this
feeling after watching the Matrix or Fight Club. How to induce this state in
everyday life? Maybe just imagining it? What is happening when I'm watching
the movie? I'm just seeing somebody act like this, feeling what it feels, thinking
what they think. Everytime I go out interacting with people I must get into
this state of mind, a state of I give a fuck about your stupid society
programming, a state of stillness of time and overwelming possibilities, welcome to X mode.

Condom mission

I did Sharks condom mission today. I went out to checkout chicks. I was in a very good mood today. I watched David X earlier and focused on FOCUS my whole day. I went into the first venue to buy condoms, I searched the whole shop and didn't find them, I found them when I was leaving and chickened out to come back for them and buy them. So I was having excuses to go home and forget about it. I faught those excuses and went into another shop. I knew it wouldn't be a big deal, but I kept thinking about the mission and I was afraid to do it. I went into the shop, went for the condoms section, I was trying to not think the whole time, rationalizing and motivating myself. When I was about to go for them a woman in front of me grabbed a pack. I thought, wow. All the fear went away and I just got a pack for myself and bought as if buying apples.

After that I felt like the terminator using "3D cursor attention". Something I forgot about and which I rediscovered because of my interest in FOCUS. The 3d thing is fucken money. I believe it is conciosness itself travelling through space. You can directly affect and "touch" people with it. That's why people know they are stared at. It is powerful.

Focus all the time

Went out today, to checkout chicks. It was hard to get into the state and
there weren't a lot of target. I used FOCUS all the time. I got into the state
after thinking "there is nothing wrong with look at chicks", hearing it with
David X voice.Also have only 1 goal in mind. If I am going somewhere and I want to do this I
have really 2 goals. The goal of the focus is to have only 1 thing on the mind
all the time. No distractions.

It's better to do anything with focus than do a great thing without focus.

-----------

About seductive skills contrary to social skills by Lifeguard:
1. Live dangerously. Have a hobby or lifestyle that emanates danger. Example: military, law enforcement, moto-cross, pilot, bouncer, fighting sports, etc
2. Have a muscular build that exhibits masculinity (CHECK)
3. Confident, deep voice and relaxed body language
4. Artistic and creative lifestyle: poet, musician, artist, writer, actor, builder/developer (CHECK)
5. Dress/groom yourself seductively through a keen fashion sense, grooming style (CHECK)
6. Social proof in venues that you hang out: restaurants, bars, gym, stores, neighbors
7. Be a non-conformist: opinions on politics, religion, sex, family, career (CHECK)
8. Wealthy lifestyle—demonstrates ambition and success. Don’t confuse this with “buying” women. This lifestyle is for YOU.
9. Project the image of a great lover. Be seductive in how you talk to, move, dance and touch women. (CHECK)
10. Have high standards and qualify women. Make them come to you. Challenge them. Banter with them. Be prepared to walk away. (CHECK)
11. Show a side of vulnerability AFTER you have shown your confident/masculine side.
12. Most importantly: have control over your emotions. Never let the behavior of others dictate your emotions.

KIllswitch

Killswitch.This guy is revolutionary. This is all about the state I was in yesterday. Read this and FOCUS every moment on of you life on your focus.Getting into this state is what I called X mode. It's a feeling that comes from thinking I am David X.

Focus: Killswitch Technique (http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=59858&fid=23#368306)

shrinking your AR (http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&read=46172&fid=23&BoardID=2#289081)

Laziness (http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=60712&fid=23#372578)

Basic Direct (http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=61275&fid=23#374026)

"Try this - the next time you get in an EC lock, and you start to feel that tension like "what's going to happen..", do something funny with your eyes or your eyebrows. Something playful, like do the Rock thing, or whatever. The point is, nonverbal communication, even if it's meaningless communication. Just acknowledging that you are in an EC lock by doing SOMETHING, anything. This will cause the tension to boil over into a smile from her, which will cause a smile from you. You may even start to laugh yourself while doing this, which will initiate a smile from both of you, and it may also get the girl to laugh/smile, but at the very least it will start to make you comfortable in EC lock.
Try it out, I'd bet a hundred bucks you get a smile in 3 attempts."

PMR - http://www.guidetopsychology.com/pmr.htm

Awesome this soemthing I used too but without the first step.

-----------------

Maintain the frame even if it is not logical. What did your brain give to you? Logic is wrong, it does not WORK in the real world. So if you are arguing fuck logical reasons, it is not a reason to give up on your frame.

Be relentless

Be relentless "David X"

"If you have the balls to fuck her, maybe your ball will fuck her."
Every women on this planet except your mother is a slut.
What are women looking for?

1. Feeling confident and good with the man

2. Strong man, mentally and physically

3. Feel safe with the man

4. Good sense of humour

"The ones you are having trouble getting into bed are the ones that realize you are having trouble"
"I don't give a fuck what they think"
"If I can't fuck you, what do I need you for?"
They don't want out because you give a shit why they want out.
"The best pick-up line is between your ears" -> What you're thinking
Think for yourself! They are wrong.
"You turn me on so much that the first night I would only hold you"
Agree. "You want only one thing! YES!"
I fuck them once in my mind and I'm ready to approach.

Rules:
I. WHO CARES WHAT THE SAY.
II. YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP

Honesty
Just say:"I don't want you to know that"
"Everytime you get in trouble, ask yourself Did I listen to what she said?"
She gives you the lines. Think on your feet. Only the right attitude can accomplish this.
I like myself. I don't do anything wrong.
Why do they call the lion, the king?

Towards pleasure 2

I have commited myself to brainwash myself. For 30 days I will surround myself only with male and sexual archetypes. I begun a couple days ago.

What this includes:

- no music, tv or books that are AFC

- watch, read direct game stuff

- watch David X, Ranko

- go out and only focus on thinking sexually or not thinking at all

- listen to hypnosis tapes to remember my ideal self-image and to be confident

- discuss with people or on forums for the sake of maintaining your frame, never lose power!

I decided I am trying to approach girls for the last couple of months and it is going nowhere. I have to stop and try this brainwashing, see how it goes.

I went out today with the intention to speak to 3-4 people, strangers. I didn't feel like doing it. In fact I realized I can do it, but somehow I lost the point because I found something much more pleasurable. Somehow I was thinking about being David X and I got into his state of mind. Earlier I was sitting in a bus next to a pretty girl. I catched myself being afraid to look at her. I finally forced myself to do it but it was strange. So later on when I got into X mode I said to myself: what the fuck? I can't even look at her in a sexual way how am I supposed to speak to her? And what would the point even be? There is only one thing I want from her.
So I walked around just checking out girls. I think I did this the first time in my life. I was just checking out girls and trying to LET THEM SEE that I'm doing that. Extremely pleasurable experience, why didn't I think of this before? I did have this realization a couple months ago with eye contact. I named it TOWARDS PLEASURE. But of course I forgot about it. So I need to make it a habit, make missions that focus on 2 things, no fuck that, 1 thing:

- only think about the pleasure that you will get from this girl

Not thinking what she is thinking and not thinking what other people are thinking. This is something that needs training. I have to have this goal in front of me all the time until I start unconciously doing this. This is a totally new approach. I haven't seen anything like it in the community.

More UG

Reading U.G., thinking about is it necessary for our brain to exist, can we think without them?

...

As long as you are seeking for the meaning of life, there is no meaning in your life. So create that meaning.
"It is very difficult to be like the other fellow, to be ordinary. Mediocrity takes a great deal of energy. But to be ourselves is very easy. You don't have to do a thing. No effort is necessary. You don't have to exercise your will. You need not do a thing to be yourself. But to be something other than what you are, you have to do a lot of things. "
"Don't bother about others. The whole world is an extension of you. The way you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing is exactly the same way everyone else in this world is thinking, feeling, and experiencing. "
"It is thought that created the thoughtless"
"The future, although indeterminate, is a modified continuity of the past. So what is this "now" you are talking about? There is no such thing as this moment. This moment is not a thing that can be captured, experienced, or given expression to. The moment you capture what you think of "this moment" you have already made it part of the past."

Thoughts

I need to experiment with this, had some minor success:

Remind yourself and visualize the time when you were completely relaxed and had a wonderful conversation. Notice how your body acted, how loosened and vulerable your whole body was. You were completely at peace.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

A good self-help book should:

1. Make you find and commit to your goals. You'll find ways of achieving them yourself.

2. Give you permission to achieve greatness. Show that it is possible and within you.

Be nice to yourself first

""I hope I really mess this up."
That is what I think when I am about to go talk with people.
...
I cannot really identify where I succeeded. However, I can certainly identify and, more importantly, learn from where I messed up."
Judson from Charismarts.com

I've been reading Sharks posts on mASF.It's all about defeating the excuses.What is your excuse?I had an interesting thought. If you defeat your excuses then you can be yourself, do whatever you want to do, be comfortable. The only way to do that is to face through those fears. If I have something to talk about, like a canned line, then I'm not really putting myself out there.
About confidence:"If you can't do this, take some time off pickup and go develop things in your life you are confident about and enjoy. "You have to be willing to fuck yourself before anyone else will!" J. Saviour"Results just flow by themselves when I am in a powerful mindset. I must not inderestiamte this anymore.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Be nice to yourself first.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The myth of change

I always thought that I could change. Make a real change that would feel like an earthquake, my whole body would shake, some sort of black energy would escape from me and at the end I would be born again. This was my dream, my whole life. I have been seeking techniques and ways to do this. But guess what? This can't happen, because there is nothing to change.
At this moment I am exactly the way I wanted to be. My whole neural network structure has been carefully developed through all my life, if that would just change in 1 second then what a waste! That would not be efficient. There might occur something called a calamity as described by U.G. Krishnamurti. That is a biological change that happens to you "in spite" of your efforts to change.

So what do you do? What do you do?

Get yourself in a position of constant repetition of new material, people and ideas that you want to incorporate in yourself. I realized this after reading what PJE is doing now. The reason of my downfall at the end of the year was because I stopped really being interested in self-help stuff. I stopped believing a lot of ideas and because of that I wasn't exposed to ideas and beliefs of people that are succesful. For the last few days I have been feeling great and it is not because of my recent "success". As always when I reach my destination it is nothing. I feel great because I read a lot of forums, I visualize, I dream about my goals and I use hypnotic tapes. Now this is interesting, I think there is no effect on the subconcious mind from hypnosis tapes. I think the reason they work is because you have a constant exposure to the idea that you are great. The same if you read Tony Robbins or whatever guru. You just get the idea that you are almighty jammed into you all day long. If you don't do that, then you fall back to thinking that you are inadequate because you don't get any external support.

I went out today, my goal was to ask 5 attractive girls anything. I felt very confident and sexy in the beginning but I failed badly. I had the goal constantly in my mind but I was feeling worse and worse. Finally went off to read a book, after some hours I went out to try it again. No luck again. So I said to myself OK, just 1 person, not necessarily a girl, just 1 person, ask something. And then two girls appeared out of the corner with kebabs. I just had a moment of clarity and asked them where did they buy it. Wow it was good (not the kebabs the interaction). I tried making a technique out of this but it failed. Alwyas when I have success like this I try to make a technique out of it. NLP style. And always it fails, I cannot reproduce the state of mind I am in. For 1 and a half year I am trying to invent a technique that allows me to do stuff like this and nothing helps. Progress appears in time. Just as I wrote above. You can't change in a moment, only when you look back at your past you can see what has changed.

-------------------------------------------------

When you find yourself seeking approval what is the next action you can make? Ignore the person and go give approval to other people. She'll come back then seeking your approval.

This is fucken money, I rediscovered this thread, I want to read it everytime I get out:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=2d2c371d994802903d979cb0693f41c6&threadid=84806

Pooks

mybirthdaypony's Tips On Getting Girls:

"What is your favorite thing about yourself?"
It is my RESPONSIIBLITY to make people happy. Be GRATEFUL and show that to
people.

"I used to think that I needed a good excuse to talk to her. The fact is, that
is just wrong. It is such a confident trait to be able to approach someone and
have no reason to be approaching other than that you just wanted to talk to
her, or you're in the mood to have fun with someone, or she's pretty and you
want to see what she's like."

"If you are having problems thinking of things to say to a girl, or thinking
up reasons to approach, STOP... and take a breath."

"Instead, think of a particular mood or mindset that you are in or want to be
in, and approach the situation with that mood in your vibe. For me it is
usually the same mindset: fun, spontaneous, and interested. That is your
opener and conversation topic, and it will be different every time. The great
thing about it is it will not only arm you with an opener on the spot, but
will also arm you with the perfect vibe and body language."

"Planning your VIBE is much better than simply planning a few words to say or
a sweet question to pop: "Hey I like your style, what should I get for my
little cousin for his birthday?" That opener will be worthless if you say it
like an asshole."

"For example, sometimes I spend the first 30 seconds having fun just giving
the girl a cool different way to handshake, or rating her hug from 1 - 10 and
then explaining why she got that rating, maybe she can teach me a better way
to hug that feels really good. We don't actually TALK about anything, we're
just vibing with one another."


------------------

More:
Thucydides:"The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before
them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.


--------------------


The almighty POOK:

"ask yourself, “Am I focusing on minimizing the pains of approaching, dating,
and loving or am I focused on obtaining the pleasures of such wonder?”"


"What is a technique with woman but the fundamental denial of self? We are
taught to act this way, do that, then this, and that over there, and perhaps
we get the girl. But what was the cost? (There is ALWAYS a cost). By using
some 'techniques' on the Internet, you never know if *you* can get women. Yes,
techniques sell well because they are 'painless'. If anyone tells you
something in life will be painless, they are, somehow, a salesman.
Nevertheless, techniques are not an addition to your character but often a
denial of it. No, being a Nice Guy does mean crash and burn. Rather than
facing up to the hard questions of life and our own masculinitiy, it is much
simpler and easier to adopt a series of techniques."


"If she ever makes you mad, tell her EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE MAD. Amazingly, girls
LOVE IT when guys will ***** at them because girls want HONESTY and
DIRECTNESS. Many girls will put up a 'test' of standing you up just to see if
you will swallow it like a 'nice guy' or if you will have the STRENGTH to put
them in their place (Women are not attracted to guys they can control)."

This is probably why I lost girl number 1, let's call her HBTalky.

"A Don Juan interacts with everyone. The best way to ward off a threat is to
befriend it. Whatever you do, do not act jealous."

But this contradicts the above in my case :(. Analyzing women is pointless
duh... and Pook is not always right.

This is more true "By ijjjji - mASF
"I have not been nice to you. You must hate me."

Preventing her sexual state with negativity. At the same time trying to make
you less attractive hoping you supplicate with "I don't hate you", "its ok" etc etc.

"I don't understand what you see in me."

Same as above.

"I'm so stupid/fat/ugly."

Same as above.

"This girl at work.. she is so stupid.. you won't believe what the ***** did
today.. blabla"

Trying to make you talk women talk with her. You become her GF and she can easily avoid feeling horny."

"The Don Juan will use stories rather then statements, even parables instead
of declarations."

"Tell me, goodly Pook, what word do you use, in your perspective, for my label
of ‘mistake’?

Freedom."

New Year's Day

Wow. Where to begin. I want to document this fully.

During the past few days during christmas and at the end of the year we had a lot of guests in house and it was really social. I was completely introverted. I regressed to the worst version of me, I only could talk some cynical jokes, not maintain eye contact and feeling bad about the whole situation, trying every trick in the book without any hope of being better. Nothing helped me except external stuff like dependancy on how many and what people I would talk to. Nothing at all thinking-wise helped me. Nothing. This is the sad part of self-help.

On the New Years day I knew I had to focus on specific goals for the party. I wrote the goals down. They were: 10 eye contacts, 3 smiles, 1 joke or anecdote, 1 convo with a newly met person lasting more than 2 minutes. Then I proceeded to prepare material. It wasn't a lot, I reminded myself some stories and jokes and I was off to go. For the last 3 days I was listening to a hypnotic tape I created, imagining myself as Jack, the day before New Years I also listened to Paul Mckenna Self-confidence booster in act of desperation (I think I need to revert to the old thinking about hypnosis and subconcious because it is proven to work).

Now while preparing to get out and while getting to the party I was thinking about the whole party all the time. Positively visualizing every aspect and what I would say and what my state of mind would be. I didn't focus on positivity I just focused on my goals and knew what I had to be thinking of to get there. 15 minutes before getting to the spot I was really ANTICIPATING the party. I was helluva motivated. Really WANTING to have fun and SOCIALIZE. I KNEW it would be great. Once I got there, there wasn't a minute I would not talk to somebody. I got my friends there and I was talking ALL THE TIME. Having fun joking around. Had no problem with talking to strangers. I actually started talking to 4 or more persons. It was really easy. I didn't use any canned lines. I actually found a way to interact with everybody by pouring drinks or asking about the food.
Everything was effortless.I had one moment of hesitation, I was pouring drinks and these 2 girls came next to me. From before I knew that it was on between me and this girl, let's call her HBMed. I had like 2-3 heartbeats of hesitation until I managed to ask them if they wanna drink with me. From then, 10 seconds later we were friends. There were awkward moments. There were moments like this with her all the time. I am not really calibrated with girls talking 1-1 with girls. I know now what to say (the truth) to them, but when I say it comes as very cheesy or rehearsed. Because it is the first time I ever did anything like this. Anyway she was drunk so didn't really contemplate on my mistakes. She wanted to dance with me and I challenged her on a game of "who sings this song". I knew I were wrong but I used the most important lesson of the evening.

MAINTAIN THE FRAME AT ALL COSTS

This is something I picked up from my father. I was analyzing his behaviour the same day and thought, wow he is totally wrong but him controlling the frame is attractive. So I used that. While dancing I told her that she smelt good. She started laughing at me. Really laughing. She didn't believe what I sad. I just remembered to keep my frame and I said "you know what I said". She then shut up and later on we kissed. I was really prolonging the moment, too much. She even said to me "are you embarassed about me?" because she was trying to figure out why I'm not
kissing her. Girls must be really used to getting quickly kissed so they try to figure out what is wrong with them. I'm just fooling around with them. I wasn't afraid to lose this girl, AT ALL. Actually for the first time I went out I had just a goal to briefly hook with a girl, maybe kiss, maybe sex (but I wasn't prepared). I wasn't thinking about girlfriends or anything romantic. So then she gave me a lapdance. Fuck that was awesome. Then we went out to talk a bit and she said something along the lines "ok we're dancing, but how long will we do it and what next?". So I thought let's say something Juggler and direct. I said (this was the first time in history I said something like this) "You are very sexy and I have to really control myself". It sounded strange so it might be the tonality, I'll never know, but she said "I don't mean that, I don't know you, I wanna know more about you". That gave me a reaction of withdrawal and I didn't feel like talking to her any more. From that moment I avoided her. I made a decision and commited to it to leave her. I wanted to say to her "OK it's over, let's end this". They don't teach this in the community. I didn't really know what to do, I thought truth will be the best but I didn't have the guts to say it. After avoiding her for the whole night she grabbed me and said "I had fun why are you avoiding me?", I felt really bad, I didn't want to say anything at all. I mumbled some stuff, which was really awkward and eventually we split. I think I avoid hooking up with girls not to get into these moments. This is really terrible. If not the alcohol and caffeine I think I would be an emotional wreck. If I want to be a PUA I can't feel pity for the girls. Right now I feel hopeless like this. At least I made a decision not to meet her and I know it is a good decision. That
feels good.

Things I want to learn:

- Styles eliciting values.

I found it hard to get from her something of value and therefore compliment on that. I couldn't escalate because of that, I could only say she is sexy. What I should've said is the truth: "I find you attractive, you are very sexy and I'm having a lot of fun with you but I don't know you really well and I need to know more to say something more about what I like about you" and then proceed to a chat and maybe eliciting values.

- Talking about myself

I didn't do the excercise to talk about my things in life. I have some of it done but I felt afraid of beginning some subjects. I need stories for each subject that I can talk about myself.

Things I learned:

I am very talkative with the right people. Maybe I should drink caffeine? I'm afraid to use it, but it produces effects, I'll see what happens, try it out.

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Mind trick:
1. I know how to not think and analyze in a social situation. Find something to play with with your hands. Your concious mind is drawn to the object and therefore cannot pay full attention to what you're talking about. The speaking is then FREE. Reading is also a great tool or eating.

2. Talk to 1 person at a time in a group or talk to anyone with 1 different listener in mind. Pick persons and then you will come up with things to say.