Juggler:
Statements make the strongest openers. "I like..." for example is something he uses.
A physical break is to stand near her but look at something other than her and when you see that she perks up and looks at you, open her.
The stronger your presence the more comfortable women feel around you.
Report from my dedicated work: I'm making progress. I can see it. A couple months ago I had to repeat my first sentence to people when I approached them because they were like what? Now nothing like this happens and they all are friendly if I approach in a confident manner. Also there is a lot less to think about. Now I just feel fear and either do it or not. Not a lot of thinking, good. There was just one old bag that wasn't friendly. I said excuse me to her and didn't wait for her to commit to the engagement. Also I approached her from the side. Lesson learned. I made two questions work with a dude. And most of all I made a statement. This was the hardest thing ever. It might seem easy for someone reading it but try making a statement to a total stranger. Questions are easy because that's what strangers are supposed to do ask questions or nothing at all. Making a statement is starting a conversation from a position of value. You have to have the guts and confidence to do it. I think I tried for an hour or more until I found a spot near a kiosk where I said to myself I'm not leaving here until I make a statement. I was watching the
DVD's on showcase praying to make a statement about me liking one of the DVD's and a girl stepped next to me. She was 1 meter away from me and it felt awkward to comment on anything. So I sat down and a guy walked in looking at the showcase. I wasn't positioned well and it felt awkward again. So I calibrated my position so that it was obvious that I had to comment on something when there is someone watching the showcase. A guy stepped literaly in front of my face and I did it. After that I just ran and felt like I was in heaven. Making statements is definitely THE thing to start conversations. You have nothing to lose but it takes some thought and guts. I will train them constantly during the next week.
Having the perma-smile is just a miracle. This is one of those things that you have to experience yourself to believe it works. For the last 6-7 months I was searching for ways to have longer eye contact with a girl. I found a solution:
Have the perma-smile.
Look around and be concentrated on anything at your surroundings, this must be genuine and you can't see the girl.
When you feel she is walking pass you and staring at you look at her. She will smile/blush/look down. Keep looking at her and she will return the look.
Also I created a mind-hack today:
First remember your dreams involving girls. Make a conscious decision to remember your dreams and remember all the great feelings you have during interactions with your dream girls.
For example I had a dream last night kissing a girl. As far as I'm concerned it is as real as everything, it felt like that and that is all that counts. Now when you see a girl and you are terrified to look at her remind yourself of the dreamgirl and say "I kissed you today" or "I fucked you today" while now focusing on the realgirl, the blockage is released and you are free to look.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Perma-smile
There is no such thing as shyness. There is only lack of social skills.
This is a big revelation and everyday I'm admitting to myself how much stuff I don't know. I'm breaking everything down and there is a lot of work to do. But I feel great about. Just as when I started learning the guitar.
I dedicated my time today to learning social skills. I approached one lady, not old, but not young also, with a neutral question. I learned my lesson from yesterday and I approached with a smile. She gave me a nice descriptive response and I could continue the conversation but I backed out because I it was too loud and I was in a bad position. Those are excuses and I will need to learn how to evercome such obstacles.
I developed one EXTREMELY important thing today. The PERMA-SMILE. I decided I have to walk constantly with A SMILE. For the first minute I felt awkward but then I was getting an unusual eye contact response and the smile stayed for the entire day. Girls even look to see why are you smiling, I'm sure it is attractive as hell. Also it is impossible to be shy with the perma-smile. It's just a completely different person. It didn't help me approach though, I've got some issues to overcome. There were so many girls I chickened out on today I don't even have time to write it all down. One girl looked at me, she noticed I'm smiling, looked at me back and I saw and felt that she is just in love with me. I ignored her and were doing my usual pattern that I am not interested. For the next couple minutes she sat down on a empty bench (to invite me), she walked pass me a couple times (to grab my attention). I knew she was shy, but I was the shyer one. It was such a mental obstacle, fascinating. And the best part is that I am totally laid-back / Zen style / smiling the whole time but inside there is a battle going on. I have to develop the 3-second
rule if I want to speak to women I'm attracted to. I read in "the Game" about this pick-up line which is just perfect and involves touching a woman at the first contact. Great, easy, lot's of situations to do it, no pressure on continuing, puts you in a higher status level. Just everything good. I still had an enormous fear to use it. The problem is I just don't know what will happen. I mean my brain/body doesn't know because it never experienced it. I have to do it with the 3-second rule and just let my eyes see it for themselves.
I spoke with the same friend today for the same ammount of time. I learned my lesson again from yesterday and the conversation was sparking. I realized he was getting bored because he is boring and was sleepy. He's not really a good listener. That affects my speech. But of course I have to learn to not notice this and ALWAYS speak as if my listener is fascinated by me.
As for my ongoing quest to answer the question: what to say?. I see today that the best conversations are at times when you don't give a flying fuck what you say. You are just in the moment enjoying yourself. I don't know how this is achieved. What is the process, what are the components, I might guess: not thinking about what to say just saying it, having high energy, having good physical place to speak. It is very complicated and I'll try to just make an intention to have great conversations and leave it to the universe. We'll see how it works.
This is a big revelation and everyday I'm admitting to myself how much stuff I don't know. I'm breaking everything down and there is a lot of work to do. But I feel great about. Just as when I started learning the guitar.
I dedicated my time today to learning social skills. I approached one lady, not old, but not young also, with a neutral question. I learned my lesson from yesterday and I approached with a smile. She gave me a nice descriptive response and I could continue the conversation but I backed out because I it was too loud and I was in a bad position. Those are excuses and I will need to learn how to evercome such obstacles.
I developed one EXTREMELY important thing today. The PERMA-SMILE. I decided I have to walk constantly with A SMILE. For the first minute I felt awkward but then I was getting an unusual eye contact response and the smile stayed for the entire day. Girls even look to see why are you smiling, I'm sure it is attractive as hell. Also it is impossible to be shy with the perma-smile. It's just a completely different person. It didn't help me approach though, I've got some issues to overcome. There were so many girls I chickened out on today I don't even have time to write it all down. One girl looked at me, she noticed I'm smiling, looked at me back and I saw and felt that she is just in love with me. I ignored her and were doing my usual pattern that I am not interested. For the next couple minutes she sat down on a empty bench (to invite me), she walked pass me a couple times (to grab my attention). I knew she was shy, but I was the shyer one. It was such a mental obstacle, fascinating. And the best part is that I am totally laid-back / Zen style / smiling the whole time but inside there is a battle going on. I have to develop the 3-second
rule if I want to speak to women I'm attracted to. I read in "the Game" about this pick-up line which is just perfect and involves touching a woman at the first contact. Great, easy, lot's of situations to do it, no pressure on continuing, puts you in a higher status level. Just everything good. I still had an enormous fear to use it. The problem is I just don't know what will happen. I mean my brain/body doesn't know because it never experienced it. I have to do it with the 3-second rule and just let my eyes see it for themselves.
I spoke with the same friend today for the same ammount of time. I learned my lesson again from yesterday and the conversation was sparking. I realized he was getting bored because he is boring and was sleepy. He's not really a good listener. That affects my speech. But of course I have to learn to not notice this and ALWAYS speak as if my listener is fascinated by me.
As for my ongoing quest to answer the question: what to say?. I see today that the best conversations are at times when you don't give a flying fuck what you say. You are just in the moment enjoying yourself. I don't know how this is achieved. What is the process, what are the components, I might guess: not thinking about what to say just saying it, having high energy, having good physical place to speak. It is very complicated and I'll try to just make an intention to have great conversations and leave it to the universe. We'll see how it works.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Dedication
First of all the facts:
I spent 4 hours dedicated working in the field. 1 hour I spent reading Neil Strauss's "The Game" in a book store. The rest was spent mainly by walking from place to place and psyching up, waiting for opportunities. I opened 3 ladies. All of them old or fat. I didn't have the guts to approach any girl. The best motivation gave me thinking of the world as a stage and me as the performer. After thinking like that I opened the first lady I saw at a bus stop. Still can't do it with girls I'm attracted to. Also I forgot about my 4 rules. Especially the personality rule. I was trying to be perfect most of the time. Very, very, very bad. I am a performer, a comedy performer, all I am doing is light-hearted. I realized that I'm not really smooth with a total stranger. I need to grow some skills. Yes, this was my biggest revelation. The fear is there because I have no skill. A couple months ago I had no skill at flirting with cashiers, today I feel it is easy if I have a line to say. I just trained, 20 or more approaches and I'm not afraid anymore. This is what I am going to do:
I learned playing guitar in 2 years. I'm really confident at playing and can play almost everything as long as it is not fast and doesn't involve complicated chords. I did this by self-motivation and daily practice. Every single bit and piece, note by note, I transformed myself into a guitar player. I will do the same to become a ladies man. I will dedicate time in my day just for approaching strangers and performing in front of them. I'm at the beginning of the road so I need to break everything down to the tiniest pieces. I will keep a log of my tasks and report the progress here. So I'm changing completely my style. Everyday life will not be training. I will just keep my eyes open for opportunities. But in the dedicated training time I will DO things.
One thing that is helping me a lot. Detachment. I think Zen meditation is helping me a lot. I had a talk with an old friend today. The conversation was forced in a bus, so there were a couple of lols. But I was so cool and laid-back that we both found it ammusing that we are having these moments. In general we just needed to warm-up. Initially I came to him with a very high energy and he got high energy also but then we leveled down unfortunately and we slowly built it to high energy again. Intention works with conversation. The universe around will give you stuff to talk about.
Also I realized that when I explain something with 2 or more sentences I seem dull and boring. Three components to remember about when speaking:
1. talk 2 times SLOWER
2. don't spread my mouth, it sounds childish
3. change tonality and be smooth like an analog wave
I spent 4 hours dedicated working in the field. 1 hour I spent reading Neil Strauss's "The Game" in a book store. The rest was spent mainly by walking from place to place and psyching up, waiting for opportunities. I opened 3 ladies. All of them old or fat. I didn't have the guts to approach any girl. The best motivation gave me thinking of the world as a stage and me as the performer. After thinking like that I opened the first lady I saw at a bus stop. Still can't do it with girls I'm attracted to. Also I forgot about my 4 rules. Especially the personality rule. I was trying to be perfect most of the time. Very, very, very bad. I am a performer, a comedy performer, all I am doing is light-hearted. I realized that I'm not really smooth with a total stranger. I need to grow some skills. Yes, this was my biggest revelation. The fear is there because I have no skill. A couple months ago I had no skill at flirting with cashiers, today I feel it is easy if I have a line to say. I just trained, 20 or more approaches and I'm not afraid anymore. This is what I am going to do:
I learned playing guitar in 2 years. I'm really confident at playing and can play almost everything as long as it is not fast and doesn't involve complicated chords. I did this by self-motivation and daily practice. Every single bit and piece, note by note, I transformed myself into a guitar player. I will do the same to become a ladies man. I will dedicate time in my day just for approaching strangers and performing in front of them. I'm at the beginning of the road so I need to break everything down to the tiniest pieces. I will keep a log of my tasks and report the progress here. So I'm changing completely my style. Everyday life will not be training. I will just keep my eyes open for opportunities. But in the dedicated training time I will DO things.
One thing that is helping me a lot. Detachment. I think Zen meditation is helping me a lot. I had a talk with an old friend today. The conversation was forced in a bus, so there were a couple of lols. But I was so cool and laid-back that we both found it ammusing that we are having these moments. In general we just needed to warm-up. Initially I came to him with a very high energy and he got high energy also but then we leveled down unfortunately and we slowly built it to high energy again. Intention works with conversation. The universe around will give you stuff to talk about.
Also I realized that when I explain something with 2 or more sentences I seem dull and boring. Three components to remember about when speaking:
1. talk 2 times SLOWER
2. don't spread my mouth, it sounds childish
3. change tonality and be smooth like an analog wave
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Create your day
#1 rule of getting women - everyone is your enemy.
OK, maybe this is not the nuumber one rule but it is important as hell. Nobody, your family, friends strangers will help you in pick-up, they will only prevent you from success. After all it's a gene survival game. The most critical moments with girls in my life were times when my friends interrupted what I wanted to achieve. I must be confident to make them shut the fuck up and continue what I want to achieve. This does not mean that lets say your parents don't want you to succeed. They want to, but the fact is they have no clue how to help. The only time they are helping is when they don't know it.
I approached a group of girl friends today. It was the first group of people I talked to that day. I wasn't smooth, I was really nervous. It reminded me how much training I need. But also it isn't anything bad. Juggler wrote he has bad interactions until he warms up, even now when he is 36. The good part of all this was that I really felt detached from myself. I was just interpreting stuff that was happening to my body. It must be the Zen meditating.
I was thinking about Zen today and I realized that enlightenment must be connected to the quantum field theory. Definitely something to meditate about. It makes sense now why the crow is black and is not black.
I walked in a group of people on the bus stop today. I intended to talk to somebody there. There was a lot of people and I knew that I will speak to someone. At first I noticed a nicely dressed girl. I wanted to approach, I had a sexual thought and looked at who was standing near her. It was another girl. That was when I decided not to approach (fear). I asked something a woman standing later. The interaction went as I envisioned it in my mind. For good and for bad. For good because it was smooth, for bad because I didn't intend to make more conversation.
Tomorrow I'm dedicating 3-4 hours to approaching people. Until then...
OK, maybe this is not the nuumber one rule but it is important as hell. Nobody, your family, friends strangers will help you in pick-up, they will only prevent you from success. After all it's a gene survival game. The most critical moments with girls in my life were times when my friends interrupted what I wanted to achieve. I must be confident to make them shut the fuck up and continue what I want to achieve. This does not mean that lets say your parents don't want you to succeed. They want to, but the fact is they have no clue how to help. The only time they are helping is when they don't know it.
I approached a group of girl friends today. It was the first group of people I talked to that day. I wasn't smooth, I was really nervous. It reminded me how much training I need. But also it isn't anything bad. Juggler wrote he has bad interactions until he warms up, even now when he is 36. The good part of all this was that I really felt detached from myself. I was just interpreting stuff that was happening to my body. It must be the Zen meditating.
I was thinking about Zen today and I realized that enlightenment must be connected to the quantum field theory. Definitely something to meditate about. It makes sense now why the crow is black and is not black.
I walked in a group of people on the bus stop today. I intended to talk to somebody there. There was a lot of people and I knew that I will speak to someone. At first I noticed a nicely dressed girl. I wanted to approach, I had a sexual thought and looked at who was standing near her. It was another girl. That was when I decided not to approach (fear). I asked something a woman standing later. The interaction went as I envisioned it in my mind. For good and for bad. For good because it was smooth, for bad because I didn't intend to make more conversation.
Tomorrow I'm dedicating 3-4 hours to approaching people. Until then...
Sunday, March 26, 2006
MySpace 1
I ended the first stage of my MySpace project:
Goal: see how girls respond from my country
General attitude - write whatever comes into my mind. Usually it is playful, honest and is just me. I wrote whatever amused me. It's a great description of this stage - I generally wrote mostly what gave me a loud laugh. I had a good time with this.
Now I'm up to stage 2:
Goal: see how willing girls are to give their phone number
Open with something honest and playful, if not use something canned or what worked before.
I did a classic sitting Zen meditation today. It is Dark Zen for the record. I can really easilly tap into this Universal Mind or whatever is happening here, probably because of my experience with autohypnosis. I'm definitely going to practice this. 20 minutes in the morning and evening. Also there is a Zen meditation (I can't recall the name write now, it is in Pali language) that lets you get out of the loops you get in thinking. I'm going to use it whenever I feel I am overthinking. Basically it tells you to just observe what is happening in your consciousness.
I'm refactoring my life btw. I'm starting to eat only when I'm hungry. I'm going to sleep only when I feel I'm going to sleep within 5-10 minutes. I get up at 9:00AM everyday.
Goal: see how girls respond from my country
General attitude - write whatever comes into my mind. Usually it is playful, honest and is just me. I wrote whatever amused me. It's a great description of this stage - I generally wrote mostly what gave me a loud laugh. I had a good time with this.
Now I'm up to stage 2:
Goal: see how willing girls are to give their phone number
Open with something honest and playful, if not use something canned or what worked before.
I did a classic sitting Zen meditation today. It is Dark Zen for the record. I can really easilly tap into this Universal Mind or whatever is happening here, probably because of my experience with autohypnosis. I'm definitely going to practice this. 20 minutes in the morning and evening. Also there is a Zen meditation (I can't recall the name write now, it is in Pali language) that lets you get out of the loops you get in thinking. I'm going to use it whenever I feel I am overthinking. Basically it tells you to just observe what is happening in your consciousness.
I'm refactoring my life btw. I'm starting to eat only when I'm hungry. I'm going to sleep only when I feel I'm going to sleep within 5-10 minutes. I get up at 9:00AM everyday.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Improv
I'm preparing myself with canned openers and follow-ups. Next Wednsay I will dedicate full 4 hours just for approaching people. Nothing sexual right now, I just want to perform in front of some strangers. So I'll be gathering tips here:
Juggler: Wait for judgment. When she judges you she is making a commitment to the interaction -> Hey [pause] My name is ... [pause]
I've done some story telling training by myself today. I really feel confident at this. I forgot how much I am a performing artist, it's so much excitement for me. If I can tap in the performer mind I can be unstoppable. I was doing this in front of the mirror and I noticed I don't focus my eyes, it's just a habit. I need to lock my eyes at the person I'm speeking to. It is also a good way to focus the consciousness and let the unconsiousness speak. Another thing: body language. I have big hands and it's better if I don't move them, unless I'm doing something funny.
Improv techniques to warm-up:
Free Association (think of a word, then of another and so on)
What Are You Doing? (think of an activity and name it totally unrelated, think of the name and name it again)
One Word at a Time (split personalities and let each one say a word at a time, form sentences from this)
Dubbing (watch people and dub their voices)
Juggler: Wait for judgment. When she judges you she is making a commitment to the interaction -> Hey [pause] My name is ... [pause]
I've done some story telling training by myself today. I really feel confident at this. I forgot how much I am a performing artist, it's so much excitement for me. If I can tap in the performer mind I can be unstoppable. I was doing this in front of the mirror and I noticed I don't focus my eyes, it's just a habit. I need to lock my eyes at the person I'm speeking to. It is also a good way to focus the consciousness and let the unconsiousness speak. Another thing: body language. I have big hands and it's better if I don't move them, unless I'm doing something funny.
Improv techniques to warm-up:
Free Association (think of a word, then of another and so on)
What Are You Doing? (think of an activity and name it totally unrelated, think of the name and name it again)
One Word at a Time (split personalities and let each one say a word at a time, form sentences from this)
Dubbing (watch people and dub their voices)
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Switch the personality
I was astonished at how many attractive women there were today. It must be the weather. If there is sun they naturaly come out of their nests seeking for mates. I had to work for several hours to attain a confident manner. I wasn't feeling like that but I worked for it at the end of the day. Switching the personality to the opposite, which is Migel works very well. He switches by triggers. Certain places are triggers for this. Maybe I can imagine this anywhere and just be it.
I was trying to ask anyone anything, because I commited to approach one stranger a day. One time I felt fear of how I will project my voice and that it would be weak and that other people would hear me and I would get embarassed. So I didn't do it. Later on I just decided at a bus stop that this is where I'm gonna ask somebody for the time and I just asked a girl. It was natural and laid-back. My voice was the same as my attitude. If I'm nervous my voice will be nervous but if I'm cool my voice will be cool. I need to remember this. If I don't feel strong work to feel strong, otherwise there is nothing to fear of, especially if I don't think much about the talking. The voice is a projection of inner feelings. There is no good way for me to consciously maintain a good voice projection. As I discovered yesterday it is even impossible. So now I know how to have a confident voice. Just be confident.
I was thinking a lot about yesterdays illumination. It's brilliant to know how the mind works but it is not an instant solution to all problems. I've done a lot of thinking today and I came to this conclusion:
There is I and Him. "I" is the consciousness, but the I can have multiple presonalities. "Him" is the body and the brain itslef (the neuron-nets). "Him" needs "I" only to make an association and distinction between me and other humans. It needs that to draw higher level conclusions and assign priorities to decisions. Decisions of actions are based on what "I" assigns to the thought based on memories of the "I". If "I" is shy it makes decisions based on that. But if I switch personalities it will draw conclusions based on that. Basically if I want to do whatever I want, to live my life like a lucid dream, I need to reprogram the memory of "I". I need to not only think of what I want to be but know that I am and don't let any other thought draw conclusions. Another way is to shut the I and just react. Both ways will work but the first one is better long-term because after all I'm in the process of developing myself.
I was trying to ask anyone anything, because I commited to approach one stranger a day. One time I felt fear of how I will project my voice and that it would be weak and that other people would hear me and I would get embarassed. So I didn't do it. Later on I just decided at a bus stop that this is where I'm gonna ask somebody for the time and I just asked a girl. It was natural and laid-back. My voice was the same as my attitude. If I'm nervous my voice will be nervous but if I'm cool my voice will be cool. I need to remember this. If I don't feel strong work to feel strong, otherwise there is nothing to fear of, especially if I don't think much about the talking. The voice is a projection of inner feelings. There is no good way for me to consciously maintain a good voice projection. As I discovered yesterday it is even impossible. So now I know how to have a confident voice. Just be confident.
I was thinking a lot about yesterdays illumination. It's brilliant to know how the mind works but it is not an instant solution to all problems. I've done a lot of thinking today and I came to this conclusion:
There is I and Him. "I" is the consciousness, but the I can have multiple presonalities. "Him" is the body and the brain itslef (the neuron-nets). "Him" needs "I" only to make an association and distinction between me and other humans. It needs that to draw higher level conclusions and assign priorities to decisions. Decisions of actions are based on what "I" assigns to the thought based on memories of the "I". If "I" is shy it makes decisions based on that. But if I switch personalities it will draw conclusions based on that. Basically if I want to do whatever I want, to live my life like a lucid dream, I need to reprogram the memory of "I". I need to not only think of what I want to be but know that I am and don't let any other thought draw conclusions. Another way is to shut the I and just react. Both ways will work but the first one is better long-term because after all I'm in the process of developing myself.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Me & Myself
Wow what a day. I was relatively short out of home but I intuitively followed a different path while returning home and I came across a lot of attractive women. I had lots of opportunities and I know I was visually attractive because I got response from a group of school girls (when they get older they can hide it better). I had lots of opportunities but I didn't really approach any. Waiting for the bus with me was a girl of the type that I am especially attracted to, I felt so warm and fuzzy when I looked at her. She had a big back pack. I had no real intention of speaking to her, somewhere in the back of mind there were two voices: what will she think if I just come up to her and start talking she'll think that I'm blah blah blah, the second one was I don't have anything real to say. I got really pumped and I felt my body is helping me in this, I got a lot of good chemicals. I entered the bus with her and a brilliant opener came up to my mind: "nice backpack, are you coming home from school?". There wasn't really much space to make an interaction there so nothing happened. Later I was in a tram and right next to me entered a really attractive girl, well-dressed, beatiful green eyes. Although there was lots of space she stood exactly facing me. I freaked out and lost control. This happened a lot of times earlier so I knew that's the end. Even if I started a conversation it would be weak. All of this got me thinking and I defined four rules to follow for my success in making approaches a habit:
1. INTENTION
2. DEDICATION
3. PERSONALITY
4. 3 SECOND RULE
Let's explain:
1) I see how the power of intention works. I consiously plan my day from sometime. I intended meeting girls today and they were there. It doesn't matter how it works.
2) This is a pattern-break for me. For the last six months I've been trying to approach girls when doing something else like coming home or going to the shop. So the approaching is a low priority process in the brain and therefore I don't commit to it. Especially when I'm returning home I keep thinking of the comfort I'm about to experience. If I have a choice of jumping out of the airplane (approach) and just following whatever I am doing my body will choose the second. But if I dedicate myself only to pickup?
So, not to waste time I am going to not really try to approach girls when not dedicated to it. I'll jut be open to any circumstances I get. Also I've decided to talk to one stranger everyday I'm out, preferably a girl for the next 30-days (stevepavlina.com idea).
I will dedicate myself to approaching when there is a proper time and day. I will know when it is time. I will select a few hours and a place and completely dedicate it to what I want to achieve.
3) I've thought about this as a correct mind-frame (fun, zen, seducer). But a frame is really a limited idea. The concept of multiple personalities is better. Migel must rise.
4) Basically an escape plan when all of the above fails. Or in better words apply the 3-second rule so that no thoughts interrupt the mental processing that happened on the 3 previous steps.
Also a tip: when approaching you must come in strong. If the position is a position of your weakness (like the tram standing situation) prevent it from happening. There will be no excuses and it will be easier if there is no bad feelings about a certain way of approaching.
One thing I want to mention, I won't write details about it, maybe some other time. I was illimunated today. I was reading Jungs introduction to Zen and then I came across this article on the web:
http://dirtsimple.org/2005/08/multiple-self.html
I finally understand how I work. What is I and what I is NOT. I feel so happy and in control.
1. INTENTION
2. DEDICATION
3. PERSONALITY
4. 3 SECOND RULE
Let's explain:
1) I see how the power of intention works. I consiously plan my day from sometime. I intended meeting girls today and they were there. It doesn't matter how it works.
2) This is a pattern-break for me. For the last six months I've been trying to approach girls when doing something else like coming home or going to the shop. So the approaching is a low priority process in the brain and therefore I don't commit to it. Especially when I'm returning home I keep thinking of the comfort I'm about to experience. If I have a choice of jumping out of the airplane (approach) and just following whatever I am doing my body will choose the second. But if I dedicate myself only to pickup?
So, not to waste time I am going to not really try to approach girls when not dedicated to it. I'll jut be open to any circumstances I get. Also I've decided to talk to one stranger everyday I'm out, preferably a girl for the next 30-days (stevepavlina.com idea).
I will dedicate myself to approaching when there is a proper time and day. I will know when it is time. I will select a few hours and a place and completely dedicate it to what I want to achieve.
3) I've thought about this as a correct mind-frame (fun, zen, seducer). But a frame is really a limited idea. The concept of multiple personalities is better. Migel must rise.
4) Basically an escape plan when all of the above fails. Or in better words apply the 3-second rule so that no thoughts interrupt the mental processing that happened on the 3 previous steps.
Also a tip: when approaching you must come in strong. If the position is a position of your weakness (like the tram standing situation) prevent it from happening. There will be no excuses and it will be easier if there is no bad feelings about a certain way of approaching.
One thing I want to mention, I won't write details about it, maybe some other time. I was illimunated today. I was reading Jungs introduction to Zen and then I came across this article on the web:
http://dirtsimple.org/2005/08/multiple-self.html
I finally understand how I work. What is I and what I is NOT. I feel so happy and in control.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Ego
Today was the first day of spring. All women have special attention to this day. I could see all the women dress up really nicely, their hair washed and clean. They believe in love...
I did not approach any women today although I have a very nice attitude and I'm having a lot of fun.
I'm working on dissasociating from my ego. I know this is work for a life-time but it is a really good solution to my problems. The ego wants to be fed and I don't really want to be its slave.
I did not approach any women today although I have a very nice attitude and I'm having a lot of fun.
I'm working on dissasociating from my ego. I know this is work for a life-time but it is a really good solution to my problems. The ego wants to be fed and I don't really want to be its slave.
Monday, March 20, 2006
myspace
I'm trying out a few techniques on MySpace. It is a good simulation for noticing my behaviour and emotions that are in me when I'm sexually interested. My first observation is that I'm afraid that the person will be mean. This is easily swept away by rationalization. Each time I open a message I feel little fear. So it is always there but also always I can get rid of it. And of course, so far nobody was really mean and it is fun when they respond in a nice way.
Friday, March 17, 2006
In dreams
I'm learning to accept all my fears, Zen style. Yesterday I started doing this.
First lesson: always be honest with yourself. I was in a bookstore, I didn't really want to go to a specific area but I thought there would be chicks there so I pretended I'm interested in books. When there were girls there and they looked at me I felt terribly ashame. If I were going there with the intention of meeting new girlfriends I would just smile and start a conversation.
I'm really into the solipsism idea now. If I would act like "reality" was a lucid dream I would live my life the way I want it to be. I dreamed today of a perfect interaction with a girl. It was some kind of party, and there was tension between this girl and me. I felt she was attracted to me, so I was cocky & funny with her. I was also AMOGing a guy in the dream but it felt bad and didn't have an affect on my target so I dropped it and we started listening to music on the headphones together (the other guy helped me do this!). And she was cuddling to me and overall it felt great, wow. Then I was going to ask for the number but somehow I was feeling doubt for the first time in this dream and I hesitated. So I woke up and nothing happened. Great metaphor.
First lesson: always be honest with yourself. I was in a bookstore, I didn't really want to go to a specific area but I thought there would be chicks there so I pretended I'm interested in books. When there were girls there and they looked at me I felt terribly ashame. If I were going there with the intention of meeting new girlfriends I would just smile and start a conversation.
I'm really into the solipsism idea now. If I would act like "reality" was a lucid dream I would live my life the way I want it to be. I dreamed today of a perfect interaction with a girl. It was some kind of party, and there was tension between this girl and me. I felt she was attracted to me, so I was cocky & funny with her. I was also AMOGing a guy in the dream but it felt bad and didn't have an affect on my target so I dropped it and we started listening to music on the headphones together (the other guy helped me do this!). And she was cuddling to me and overall it felt great, wow. Then I was going to ask for the number but somehow I was feeling doubt for the first time in this dream and I hesitated. So I woke up and nothing happened. Great metaphor.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Synchronicity
When I'm entering a facility I must conscously make a decision that I want to meet somebody there. If I don't believe I'll do it, make another decision or don't make any decision and nothing will happen.
Today was a wierd day. Why it was wierd probably explains why I am in this "state". I was talking to my dad and for the first time in history he said that I should get a girlfriend. Now I understand that he never talked about sex but this could be addressed once or twice. This was the first time he directly stated it. Mysteriously I felt really good about and I feel something is changing inside of me. My father always had authority and what he says deeply inprints in my mind, so I'm glad he said that. Later I was talking with my grandparents and they too several times stated that I should get a girlfriend or that I have problems with people, stuff like that. It's like all external forces are there to help me. They are uniting. Synchronicity.
Today I had a thought that because I live at home with my mother, my unconsious mind thinks I live with a woman so there is no need to seek one. I only look for OPPORTUNITIES not REAL GIRLS. I either need to move out or make my subconscious know that mom is dad's girlfriend...
I used NLP for overcoming the fear of looking at a girl standing/sitting next to me. I failed again today, it was the same situation. Whenever I want to look directly at my side I feel this tremendous fear, self-hypnosis, I am immobilized. I was really cool but some force didn't allow me to look at her. I glanced at her once, that was a success. This belief that it is a real force is bull-shit. It is the fear, the thoughts that prevent me from doing the thing. The only success I had when overcoming this type of fear is when I stopped thinking at all / I thought about it in a different way (not the I'm projecting that I'm interested in her way). Also I had this fear with a girl in the bus. I forced myself to look at her for 2 seconds. It worked after I thought about solypsism. This is my reality, everyone is a product of my consciousness. Steve Pavlina says this is the way to eliminate fear. He's got a point but this needs training. Tomorrow I'm going to place myself in these fear situations. Although I'm terrified to death it is sort of amusing. Because fear is fun for me.
Today was a wierd day. Why it was wierd probably explains why I am in this "state". I was talking to my dad and for the first time in history he said that I should get a girlfriend. Now I understand that he never talked about sex but this could be addressed once or twice. This was the first time he directly stated it. Mysteriously I felt really good about and I feel something is changing inside of me. My father always had authority and what he says deeply inprints in my mind, so I'm glad he said that. Later I was talking with my grandparents and they too several times stated that I should get a girlfriend or that I have problems with people, stuff like that. It's like all external forces are there to help me. They are uniting. Synchronicity.
Today I had a thought that because I live at home with my mother, my unconsious mind thinks I live with a woman so there is no need to seek one. I only look for OPPORTUNITIES not REAL GIRLS. I either need to move out or make my subconscious know that mom is dad's girlfriend...
I used NLP for overcoming the fear of looking at a girl standing/sitting next to me. I failed again today, it was the same situation. Whenever I want to look directly at my side I feel this tremendous fear, self-hypnosis, I am immobilized. I was really cool but some force didn't allow me to look at her. I glanced at her once, that was a success. This belief that it is a real force is bull-shit. It is the fear, the thoughts that prevent me from doing the thing. The only success I had when overcoming this type of fear is when I stopped thinking at all / I thought about it in a different way (not the I'm projecting that I'm interested in her way). Also I had this fear with a girl in the bus. I forced myself to look at her for 2 seconds. It worked after I thought about solypsism. This is my reality, everyone is a product of my consciousness. Steve Pavlina says this is the way to eliminate fear. He's got a point but this needs training. Tomorrow I'm going to place myself in these fear situations. Although I'm terrified to death it is sort of amusing. Because fear is fun for me.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The universe itself, keeps on expanding and expanding
I've been pretty much programming my unconscious mind for the last days with hypnosis. Yesterday I made a belief change technique once more + overcoming fear with NLP for the situation described in the last post. I didn't have any opportunities today. I tried to seek them out, I went to a McDonalds I never went before, just to brake my pattern when I'm coming home. Tomorrow I will actively seek eye contact. I want to place myself in a position with a girl to see how my fear level is. Then I will initiate eye contact or conversation just for the fun of it.
Juggler method:
1. Question to get information
2. Reward with smile, enthusiam and interest
3. Open ended question about however the person just responded.
4. Relate back with a story.
5. Repeat
"The main thing here that makes it all come together is genuine enthusiam."
"Get out of your head - your not THAT special."
I would add cocky and funny to this recepie because I don't like overly enthusiastic people because they are surely fake and annoying.
Hmm... one more belief to conquer? I'm annoying people?
Juggler method:
1. Question to get information
2. Reward with smile, enthusiam and interest
3. Open ended question about however the person just responded.
4. Relate back with a story.
5. Repeat
"The main thing here that makes it all come together is genuine enthusiam."
"Get out of your head - your not THAT special."
I would add cocky and funny to this recepie because I don't like overly enthusiastic people because they are surely fake and annoying.
Hmm... one more belief to conquer? I'm annoying people?
Thursday, March 09, 2006
The Opposite
When I left home I was feeling down, physically mainly because I didn't sleep well. I have to keep my window open if I sleep more than 7 hours or switch to polyphasic sleep. Now, I bashed myself for feeling down because I wanted to realise my commitment. Then I realised that I was bashing myself so I switched my thinking to how great I am. Then I thought about the patterns/loops that I'm in all my life so I decided I'm going to do THE OPPOSITE of everything. And I started doing this, suddenly I felt really great. I started projecting this male energy. I noticed a pair of really hot legs. I started staring at her ass and smiling. Nobody around me did that although she was bending over and it was a great view. It felt great. I really projected a lot of energy because I got a really nice smile from a girl. When I was returning home I felt anxious because I wanted to meet a girl today. I started talking to myself with this low, manly voice. I was starting to feel real confident. Soon it turned out that this voice is another personality. His name is Migel. He wanted to take control over me. I know he is the kind of guy that is unstoppable with women. He knows what to do and I need to give him full control when I'm seeking for girls. He is totally confident, integrated, suave and has beatiful green eyes that he hypnotizes women with. This is no joke, something switched in me although I didn't let it work fully as I describe later. So, I saw another proof today that the POWER OF INTENTION works. I wanted to meet a girl and right next to me stood a really beatiful girl reading a book. It was a perfect opprotunity. She looked at me, twice. I got the signal, I got the girl, I have something to talk about. This happened to me many
times and I always chickened out. This time I had Migel in control and... I chickened out. Migel was really angry with me because I interfered him. I kept consiously thinking about negative stuff and I immobilized him, although he knew exactly what to do and what the outcome would be. I need to trust him. When in the field I need to switch my personality to Migel and let him do the work. Do whatever it takes to hide the wussy me and don't let it interfer. If I fully become Migel it will be simple. I want this to happen.
I've always felt I have two personalities. Today I got a proof of it. This isn't an illness. All people have multiple personalties they just hide them or don't let them come out. Migel is really my masculine core. The man I want to be. He doesn't have some positives of my usual self (Jung: poetic, magician, he is a king warrior) but when I want to meet girls my usual self does nothing. For Migel it's natural because all he wants is to get laid.
I'll use hypnosis today to connect more with this masculine core and make it switch on whenever I feel AWARE of a NICE GIRL.
times and I always chickened out. This time I had Migel in control and... I chickened out. Migel was really angry with me because I interfered him. I kept consiously thinking about negative stuff and I immobilized him, although he knew exactly what to do and what the outcome would be. I need to trust him. When in the field I need to switch my personality to Migel and let him do the work. Do whatever it takes to hide the wussy me and don't let it interfer. If I fully become Migel it will be simple. I want this to happen.
I've always felt I have two personalities. Today I got a proof of it. This isn't an illness. All people have multiple personalties they just hide them or don't let them come out. Migel is really my masculine core. The man I want to be. He doesn't have some positives of my usual self (Jung: poetic, magician, he is a king warrior) but when I want to meet girls my usual self does nothing. For Migel it's natural because all he wants is to get laid.
I'll use hypnosis today to connect more with this masculine core and make it switch on whenever I feel AWARE of a NICE GIRL.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The great loop
I made a commitment today. I have to meet somebody soon. I'm in a big pattern. I feel great and I'm learning new stuff but this is a loop. I need to brake it and step into the next level. I either go talk to girls in my environment or go meet chicks online. Tomorrow I'll do whatever it takes to have intense eye contact with a girl or at least strike up a conversation.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Out of the head
I got really out of my head today. We were making a project with guys from my university group. It was really a blast, LOTS of laughs. I have the best time when we are doing stuff not talking. That is what I should intend to do with girls, do stuff with them instead of relying on the conversation (it always worked for me as far as I remember). If I speak about the university I got a nice conversation topic: I don't know what I'm doing there, I sometimes think I just go there to have fun (and talk about how stupid people are and how funny it is to be one of them).
I still haven't done the eye contact thing. As always I'm looking for the perfect moment. It's not gonna come and even if it comes I'm gonna chicken out. I have to do it with whoever comes in the line of sight after I make the commitment to do it now.
I think I changed my beliefs on bothering people with my talk. I used the museum of old beliefs technique and used hypnosis for gaining confidence. I didn't experience problems so it probably works.
I still haven't done the eye contact thing. As always I'm looking for the perfect moment. It's not gonna come and even if it comes I'm gonna chicken out. I have to do it with whoever comes in the line of sight after I make the commitment to do it now.
I think I changed my beliefs on bothering people with my talk. I used the museum of old beliefs technique and used hypnosis for gaining confidence. I didn't experience problems so it probably works.
Hypnosis week
I was happy all day after the hypnosis, don't know if really confident but I didn't feel no shyness. This is fun, I'm going to make hypnosis sessions all week if I can. Today also of course.
Interview technique: When someone asks you a question answer what you want to communicate to them, not what they asked for.
Interview technique: When someone asks you a question answer what you want to communicate to them, not what they asked for.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Hypnotize
If you start analyzing stuff too much it is a sign that you are doing something wrong. The over-analyzing is part of this. Over-analyzing and thoughts that can't get out of your head are caused by little stimuli of the brain. If you don't meet much people everyday you'll analyze and overthink every little bit of encounter. This is very bad because you get stuck in your head. Go out and recieve more mental stimuli, if it is not possible, fool your brain by watching a movie. You can also get outside of your head by focusing on the body and spiritual parts of you. So, go jog, or listen to music or hipnotyze yourself. Btw. I'm gonna hypnotize myself tonight.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Conversation
Socializing is an unconscious process due to the fact that 97% of our communication is non-verbal. It doesn't matter what you say but how. The self-consciousness is the main enemy in socializing. It is the root of shyness. If you don't think about yourself you are not shy. Consciousness is to be used only to make decisions. It is to make an intention of doing something. It isn't there to think about what to say, what to do. It is just there to control the sub-conscious so it doesn't project everything in your brain at once. It is like time (Woody Allen quote: "time is God's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once). It is there to order things to do.So trying to consciously think about what to say is an error in thinking. Self-consciousness is there to limit your possibilities. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, MAKE A COMMITMENT TO DO IT NO MATTER WHAT. The rest is left to the sub-consiousness and if you let it go, in a short time you will connect with the super-conscience and it will be the best conversation ever.
Pattern Interrupt: I know what to do instead of the pattern but I still need to do a distinct interruption. I decided to use this sentence from the movie Starship Troopers spoken by Michael Ironside "YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER!!!?".
Visualize and imagine several times a day your ideal-self. Step into that visualization. See through its eyes.
I remembered this while SMSing with a girl today. Always fo the OPPOSITE of what a woman tells you to do. Always TRUST YOUR GUT.
Pattern Interrupt: I know what to do instead of the pattern but I still need to do a distinct interruption. I decided to use this sentence from the movie Starship Troopers spoken by Michael Ironside "YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER!!!?".
Visualize and imagine several times a day your ideal-self. Step into that visualization. See through its eyes.
I remembered this while SMSing with a girl today. Always fo the OPPOSITE of what a woman tells you to do. Always TRUST YOUR GUT.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Intention
An excercise for increasing your masculine energy from Ross Jeffries works. I use it various situations and I always regain and maintain high energy.
I had this vibe with a cashier today. I liked her and I didn't freak out. She was nervous, great feeling. Although there are problems that I need to deal with:
1. I have no intention of continuing the talk
2. I think that I'm bothering people
3. I have little motivation for talking to people I don't care about
They are closely related and I need to deal with them.
Number 1 is due to years of bad programming. I tend to escape the conversation. I think of ways to end it instead of ways to extend it. After I end it millions of things come in to my head, brilliant things. They come to my head because I want to talk more, because I regret that I finished talking. I need to think about extending the conversation at real-time, know that I'm going to regret if I finish too early or I don't make an emotional impact. I've dealt with this with friends, so there will be no problem with dealing with it with strangers. I just need to make a conscious intention and never fall into the escape route.
Number 2 is a really bad belief. I can deal with it with the 3 second rule, I'll also try to make a belief-change technique on it so that it never enters my mind.
Number 3 is also a bad belief. I think I don't fully understand the importance of speaking to everybody I meet because I forget how great it is. Try to talk to everybody, challenge yourself to do it. Think that you want to fuck/kiss/touch/make laugh/laugh at this girl instead of "starting conversation".
I had this vibe with a cashier today. I liked her and I didn't freak out. She was nervous, great feeling. Although there are problems that I need to deal with:
1. I have no intention of continuing the talk
2. I think that I'm bothering people
3. I have little motivation for talking to people I don't care about
They are closely related and I need to deal with them.
Number 1 is due to years of bad programming. I tend to escape the conversation. I think of ways to end it instead of ways to extend it. After I end it millions of things come in to my head, brilliant things. They come to my head because I want to talk more, because I regret that I finished talking. I need to think about extending the conversation at real-time, know that I'm going to regret if I finish too early or I don't make an emotional impact. I've dealt with this with friends, so there will be no problem with dealing with it with strangers. I just need to make a conscious intention and never fall into the escape route.
Number 2 is a really bad belief. I can deal with it with the 3 second rule, I'll also try to make a belief-change technique on it so that it never enters my mind.
Number 3 is also a bad belief. I think I don't fully understand the importance of speaking to everybody I meet because I forget how great it is. Try to talk to everybody, challenge yourself to do it. Think that you want to fuck/kiss/touch/make laugh/laugh at this girl instead of "starting conversation".
Thursday, March 02, 2006
What I like
I had problems with relating and doing follow-up stories to someones because I was struggling to remember a story of mine. Well if it didn't work it is time to change the tactic. It much better fits my personality to say what:
a) what is important for me
b) what I like
c) I look forward to
d) I find this interesting or funny
This gives me a ton of stuff to talk about because I am more a creative person then one that has memory for stories.
I spoke to a woman in a bus sitting next to me when there was a good moment. I didn't think about it just did it. I realized afterwards that I could make an emotional impact on her easily. But then I realized that I didn't want to. I will talk more and stuff to talk about will come to my head easily if I have the intention. So the next time I will make an intention of making a longer conversation and making an emotional impact on anyone.
I was staring at this girl and she looked at me and did a cross sign with her hands. I thought why is she praying to me, well it's obvious but... and then I realized there is a church behind me.
The following applies to girls that mean something to me, or that I think would mean to me, that I care about. I don't want to be embarassed by showing her that I'm interested in her. I also don't want her to be embarassed by the situation. This comes from me thinking that I am not worthy her. This is bullshit in my head. There is nothing wrong with showing your interest as long as it makes sense (Johnny from Charisma Sciences). So don't worship her unless there is something great about her. If you don't know her there is no need to be embarassed because she might not be good for you. Always approach with curiosity and I am the prize mind frame, it will work on so many levels without having to analyze stuff like embarassment etc...
Tip: double gaze. Look at someone then turn away, then look back fast as if you know him/her.
a) what is important for me
b) what I like
c) I look forward to
d) I find this interesting or funny
This gives me a ton of stuff to talk about because I am more a creative person then one that has memory for stories.
I spoke to a woman in a bus sitting next to me when there was a good moment. I didn't think about it just did it. I realized afterwards that I could make an emotional impact on her easily. But then I realized that I didn't want to. I will talk more and stuff to talk about will come to my head easily if I have the intention. So the next time I will make an intention of making a longer conversation and making an emotional impact on anyone.
I was staring at this girl and she looked at me and did a cross sign with her hands. I thought why is she praying to me, well it's obvious but... and then I realized there is a church behind me.
The following applies to girls that mean something to me, or that I think would mean to me, that I care about. I don't want to be embarassed by showing her that I'm interested in her. I also don't want her to be embarassed by the situation. This comes from me thinking that I am not worthy her. This is bullshit in my head. There is nothing wrong with showing your interest as long as it makes sense (Johnny from Charisma Sciences). So don't worship her unless there is something great about her. If you don't know her there is no need to be embarassed because she might not be good for you. Always approach with curiosity and I am the prize mind frame, it will work on so many levels without having to analyze stuff like embarassment etc...
Tip: double gaze. Look at someone then turn away, then look back fast as if you know him/her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)