Fill the cup

The Secret:

"Whatever it is you are feeling
is a perfect reflection
of what is in the processs
of becoming"

"1. Ask
2. Answer
3. Receive"

Be in perfect alignment with what you want through emotions: joy, passion, hope, faith.

ACT when the opportunity is there. That's all YOU have to do.

If you have INSPIRED THOUGHT ACT upon it.

"What you resist, persists" Carl Jung


-------------------------------------

Tao of Jeet Kune Do:

"Can you look at a situation without naming it? Naming it, making it a word, causes fear"

"Approach Jeet Kune Do with the idea of mastering the will. Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain."

"The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or in defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment."

While training keep an open mind. When you engage in combat be extremely calm, do it as if nothing critical is happening. Nothing changes in your behaviour.

EMPTY THE CUP, SO THAT IT CAN BE FILLED AGAIN.

"The enemy is not the other, the enemy is you..."

All is in me

I went out yesterday. I felt OK but I chose not to do the approaches, there was a faggy reason for it but OK. I got it planned on Monday.
Here's some material to prove my point from the preious post:

"Instead of working on CONFIDENCE, try working on CONTROL. Find what it is in your life that you are NOT in CONTROL of, and fix it. When you see that girl, realze that if you are NOT IN CONTROL, that perfect women could be gone forever."

"When you lack flow, you CLING to this dream… “Im not ready for this yet.. My confidence is too low. I must wait and later this will be easy.”
But its just a dream. Flow doesnt come from a thing inside you. Inner game/confidence doesnt exist. Flow comes from actions alone.
Next time you feel insecure, you will remember what I told you:

-you lack nothing inside you. You are FINE.
-all you lack is a little FLOW and this is perfectly normal and OK.
-flow comes from actions alone.
"

Enough... reading has to end for this. I will do it now. That's all. All in me.

---

"Getting blown-out is FUN!"
This is the attitude I want for this. It will bring more emotional experiences.

The equation

This is my solution:
This is my only option. I now see how great men achieve everything. All is in the ability to control the body. Because any sort of fear or resistance is just a biological state. The conscious is there to nevermind it. All these months I have been resisting to do this, but deeply inside I always knew that I will just have to do it myself and it won't be pleasant.
I have the final equation for doing something that is out of your comfort zone:
WILL TO ACCEPT THE DOWNSIDE + FATE THAT THE ACTION WILL BRING GOOD

Learning to Desensitize…..

"[...] Having gone through this highly negative experience, you are not in a hurry to repeat it and you may go as far as never approaching strangers. This is quite natural; all of us don’t like negative experiences. What my Grand Master has us do with his technique was to repeat such an experience until we were able to control the physiological reaction.
Some people call this ability to control your physiological reaction “Becoming Desensitized.” This is actually a misnomer, because you do not stop “feeling or sensing.” What you have actually done is learned to control the negative feelings you got from the physiological reaction. This is how the technique was executed:

[...]

You set an approach target of say 10 attempts, then head out to the field to carry out the approaches. As you make each approach, your buddy records your

actions from his perspective, and then after you are done with your approach

you record your details. Try to record what were you feeling, the thoughts that went through your head and what you saw the approach target do or reaction. He had us do this for a straight week (7days.)
I don’t endorse alcohol use, but back then in the first two days, I took a couple of shots of tequila to numb down the pain, after those two days I didn’t need the tequila.
I had GrassHopper go through the technique and got excellent results, now he doesn’t hesitate to make his approaches.I asked my Grand Master what was the logic behind his technique? He said that every time you have a new experience you form a new pattern in your brain. Depending on the nature of the experience, the impact on the body can be a mild or extreme physiological reaction. If the experience was an extremely pleasurable one, you will want to repeat it, if it was negative, you wouldn’t want to repeat it.

By learning to master your physiological reactions, you become master of your body. This in turn gives you the ability to dictate your success.
Remember: Practice, practice, practice!Practice is the foundation of our mastery and makes us fertile ground for our success.

-Sapiens
"


-------------------

I used this over the telephone the today, here are my results:
I wanted to ask how to cook something.

1 - it was a restaurant I put down the phone immediately
2 - it sounded like an old dude and I got intimidated
3 - a nice woman, I wasn't very smooth but I asked and got a laugh. Cool!

I will see how does telling rehearsed lines work, in a robot fashion. Also I

need to remember about the vacuum. It is critical on the phone.

I must do it

I decided to do 5 approaches today. I didn't do them. I didn't really feel like it, but that is an excuse. I really don't have to be in any state to do it. I just have to do it, no matter what. I have to make a decision to approach NO MATTER WHAT. Then and only then it will be a decision that will be fulfilled. I must be willing to accept any downside, upside, way and state I can be, could be or would be in.
I feel pretty down today, a LONG time ago I felt like this. The reason is because there are girls everywhere in my environment and I don't do anything. Why is my mind beating myself for it, isn't he the one that does things?
Maybe not. I thought today that I and ONLY I can approach. I must do it MYSELF. Letting HIM do it is only a way of not doing it. A method of escaping the real problem. The problem is just me. I've got to JUST DO IT.

Solution

I think I have the shyness broken down. I have a WAY of dealing with it. Today I really realized I have a different problem with girls. I feel now really comfortable around them and I can look at them and stuff but... it doesn't make any sense to do it because... I'm not really interested in them.
To explain this state better I want to say that: I am attracted to them, I see their beauty and sexiness, I even see them with me having a good time, I even feel confident about my ability to get them but... I even am horny in the last 2 days, like hell... but... I just don't approach them because I don't have a real reason for it? Why is that?
I hope to get an answer for this and deal with. I might meditate about it today. It might be because I have never really felt the pleasure of being with a woman, it is all imaginative so my brain doesn't really associate a girl with pleasure. So a solution to this might be to force myself to do an approach and see how great it is. Or...

Reverse shyness

Adam's Apple excercise

The masculinity state change. Focus on the energy below your Adam's apple. Breathe through it.


--------------------

POOK:

How to get out of the cycle of hesitating? Realize that rejection is always better than regret. Always.

"Stop trying to say the perfect thing"
This is one of my biggest fears. I want to say everything perfect so I end up saying nothing. I realized this through the context of BEING A MAN. If you act upon your manliness your words are really irrelevant, I can see that.

"Don't take yourself so seriously
This is for the shy and hesitant guys. You need to get over the fact that the world does not revolve around you. It never has and never will. No one will care if you hit on a chick. No one will care if you make a move on her. Do not rationalize away your desires."


-----------


If you can do one thing, you can do everything.


---------------------

"Care about other people, don't care what they think about you."

This is Sean's quote, but I discovered this yesterday night when I was meditating. I call it REVERSE SHYNESS.

Story telling

THE ONLY WAY TO DO SOMETHING IS NOT TO TRY TO DO IT.

Focus ONLY on changing your values and metric.
After that only try to control the behavior. Change your behavior to change your personality.

=======================

Style:
Sense what people need and give it to them.
Make them feel good about themselves.


========================

RELATING

I'm starting relating excercises today with flash cards and words to relate.

"One by one, I want you to flash one card in front of your face and RELATE to it. Time yourself. Try to relate to it with a story that involves YOU for at LEAST 30 seconds. Try to make the story as funny as possible."


Dan, Charisma Arts:
"The first step is re-indexing your entire life story. Mostly we index our stories and memories based on things and events, not emotions. So when you try to think back to a story where you felt a certain emotion you don't have an indexing system. So it's time to re-index your brain."

"Take a moment and write down every emotion you can think about. At first only write down positive emotions. Small list huh? Well get researching. How many more emotions can you come up with. Have a goal to write down at LEAST TEN."
"Now that you have done that go back and next to every emotion think about your life and the stories in your life about YOU. Write down a headline that hooks the story. Next to each of those emotions try to have at least one story that demonstrates that emotion."
"What you have now done is re-indexed your brain to recall stories every time you identify an emotion."
"As soon as she tells you something, figure out what emotion she is giving you. If this is difficult, role-play with a friend telling stories or statements. Once they are done repeat what emotion they were giving you and have them tell you whether you are close or not.

Now you are ready to relate. When she gives you an emotion you then say "I can relate to that. One time [insert headline]. [Tell story that relates to her emotion].""

"Just remember to describe your story using as much detail about how you felt at the time. Always tell the story in the I perspective. Don't sit down and pre-plan your stories. If you have to, take one story and write it down and re-write it adding as much detail about emotions that you felt, then polish it up. After doing that to one you will understand and be able to tell all your stories like that without pre-planning."

Chad Diego de la Vega:
Use the phrase "“I like that” it "is much more genuine, and more daring.

"“That’s cool”
Generic and impersonal (no one is held accountable to back it up).

“I like that”
Personal (you are backing it up)--a huge improvement; but it’s still generic.

“That was a well-told, vivid story”
More specific--a big improvement; but it’s still impersonal.

“I like how vividly you told that story...”
Both personal and specific. This is the most powerful.
"

" Tone and body language are perhaps even more important in making it personal: smile, lean in, touch her, speak with your whole body, fully commit with your whole being to what you say. But this will all naturally happen if you talk about things you genuinely care about."

"You already share many emotional experiences with anyone you'll ever approach: you've both felt excitement, wonder, boredom, rage, tiredness, humiliation, confidence, anticipation, embarrassment, jealousy, happiness, shyness, euphoria, sadness, lust, contentment, fear, exhilaration, among many more. Chances are, you'll be able to relate to the very first thing someone says that has any emotional content. Whether she says "I want to f#@% you" or "f#@% off!" or anything in between, you can relate. I think I've gotten both of those."

"The key is to relate to the emotion behind the statement, not the factual content of the statement."

Two great default questions to always have ready are: 1. "What was that like?" and 2. "How did that make you feel?"

"Whenever you speak, be always answering the above two default questions for the benefit of your listeners."

"People who understand and assume this connection are comfortable being open, and they radiate a warmth and friendliness that pulls people around them into their world."

STORYTELLING:

1. What do you want to convey?
What do you want people to know about you? What if this story is the only thing they'll hear about you.

2. A story can be any experience.

3. Completely engage in the story. Feel the emotions you want to convey.
Sense sub-modalities. See, hear, feel, smell, touch.

-----------

If I feel I need to make a transition of any kind, it is just the feeling of fear because I will need to carry on the conversation.

----------------

BE TALKATIVE. It is the ultimate answer to "what they'll think about what you said". If I constantly talk I can talk about whatever I want, because people will forget what I talked about 10 seconds ago, there will be new stuff they'll have to evaluate all the time.

Don't try

DON'T TRY TO DO IT, JUST DO IT.

The greatest secret of life is, in order to get something you can't need to have it.


--------------------------------


I just did a thing that I always wanted to do but didn't. I won't write what it was... I'm excited about this, here is the report. We'll see if this works for different parts of my life.

HOW TO DO A THING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BUT JUST COULDN'T

First curiosity and anticipation is needed. Motivate yourself to try this out. Decide that you want to see if this method will work out. Analyze yourself through the whole process. You may not even want to do it at the moment you thought you would want to do it. You may not even believe that you will do it. Once the moment comes to do it, your state changes. That is why you have always failed to do it. There is a dissasociation between states, the state of "I want do this" and the state "Here it is let's do it". When the other state comes you usually fail, but here is how to not fail:
Think about doing it. Now you will start a decision process and you will imagine doing it, feeling really unpleasant about it, analyzing cons and pros. At this moment consciously stop yourself and realize you won't do this if you continue imagining. Start being the body. Once you identify with the process you are going to just do it by observing yourself doing it. That's it. Focus your attention on identifying with the process instead of trying and deciding. Learn to notice the difference.
The most important thing here is you don't use any of the arguments of the first state. You completely forget about it. You are in a new state and you must deal with it only through different tools. No previous motivators and arguments will work. Through the whole process you remember just to do it, focus just on the doing part not any imagining or decision part. Once you are in the second state do it without any trying. Identify with the process, not with the needs.

If you are the same in every moment...

I asked for the time once more in the coffee shop. I chickened out on 1 set but then asked another one in a totally cool manner. I will continure this. Later on I tried using my Hi method which is to get into the friendly drunk guy state. I managed to do it. I felt really stoned, I gave a shit about everything but that didn't make me approach. Actually nothing did it. I pondered about this and I realized I don't have any good reason to approach. It was a revelation. And then I thought that 'a guy that does approaches' is just not me. If something is not me it needs effort. If it is me, I can do it just like that. So in order to approach girls constantly I need to develop myself into that kind of guy. It is time consuming and it is possible. I
proved it by changing myself to this point. So I will continue using my imagination for this. I read in "Think and grow rich" about the Invisible Councellors. I will use this idea in my nightly meditation. They will include people like David DeAngelo, Mystery, Style, PJE. Of course this isn't anything new, if I recall that's what I've been doing during the last year.
These people come into my mind all the time. But I will now focus on this in a habit. I think this is the best way for change.

Monkey show

I went out today, like yesterday and the day before. As expected I was in a great playful mood, ready to run the opinion opener. I went to a coffee shop and there I asked a group for the time. The reason it worked was that the day before I made the decision to do so and today all the initial parameters were set right. Later I was in fucken demon state but I couldn't find any girls. Later I found girls but I was terrified. At least I came to the conclusion that I'm running this show and I really have to deal with my psychology. More refactoring today. This will take time, a shorter way is to change context for the decision making. Of course I did this before but I didn't really know what the context / state of mind is. Now I know that you ARE in the state if you catch yourself subconsiously thinking and making decisions as in the state.

Note about flirting:
The same as in improv - always respond positively. To do that you must decide to go into the interaction.

-------

To PJE:

Today I've come to the realization like you in "Life is every moment", that I'm actually the one running this circus. So I have a solution to my riddle, posted yesterday.

I now know why acceptance is crucial for changing. Because it was actually you who made the decision to avoid some behaviour in the past. When the 'present you' wants to do something, it fails because all of it's arguments can't stand against the strong 'past self's' decision to avoid doing this something. You must realize that it was in fact YOU who wanted this and if you're failing to change yourself it is because you draw a line between you and him, between 'past self' and 'present self', the distinction is an illusion of the conscious mindm, it is ONLY YOU WHO MAKES DECISIONS AND THAT IS WHAT YOU ACT UPON!. So you must identify with the 'past you' and accept whatever worries he had, because in fact those are your worries, deal with them.

This is nothing new. I'm basically rewriting your words. The funny thing about reading is that you come to an understanding only after experiencing it. Then you just find the right words to describe your experience because you read about it on dirtsimple.org for example.

So going back to my metaphor about the room. It's not that you close yourself in a room and throw out the key. You lock yourself in the room and you EAT the key. So in order to get out of the room you must realize that it is you that are possesing the key and you must accept that you are going to have to defecate the key which won't be necessarily pleasant. Also you must deal with the problem that lead you to lock yourself in the room in the first place so you don't eat the key again after getting it out!

You are your decisions

I'm writing in the context of people doing stuff for me ->
Stuff that worked I labelled as "I don't why?" or "Lucky". In fact it is how
the world works. So stop acting like the world SHOULD work and research how
it really works and apply what worked. A big part of this is not caring about
the outcome or work at all.
The 3 second rule i the only method for overcoming fear. So said MYSTERY
himself!


------

Effort or tyredness is really a feeling of I want to do this more, or I must.
So, fear is a feeling of I want to do this.
THERE IS NO OPTION, I MUST APPROACH GIRLS CONSTANTLY


----------------------


Comment for dirtsimple.org:
Now how does the concept of "just doing it" work in the context of subnets?
I mean I've realized something today while trying to do something I want:
it's YOU that is making your decisions, but "you" is the sum of all your
decisions in your life time.
Let's say at some point in life you did something and that caused you an
awful lot of pain. So you make a decision "I won't do this again no matter
what!". And a strong decision like that is like locking yourself in a room
and throwing out the key. Later in life if you want to do that thing again
you just can't because you can't override that initial decision, no matter
what! Nothing can change it, that was YOUR decision!
So how do you just do it then? Or do you have to refactor yourself in a
situation like that?

----

I've been going out in the last two days, working 4-6 hours to get the
opinion opener working. I can't do it, but I have some insight. The last
night I was meditating on my new intention of being a man and doing
approaches. I'm gonna continue doing this. I will also make a session of
refactoring today, I found a new thing, a thing that was really holding me
back. I am really concerned about peoples reaction. I drank coffee today and
I was really high. That made me approach people and ask for time or
directions. I felt that I was doing it just because I was high. I got a bad
response and that made me realize that that was the reason I was holding
myself back. So I need to refactor it or use drugs to overcome it
(refactoring is better of course).
I tried 2 techniques that didn't work.
- Totally dissasociating and watching yourself do things.
Unfortunately yourself doesn't do anything if you don't make the decision
- Distracting you by not watching your target
Again, nothing is gonna happen if you don't make the decision

I realized that all the techniques (like visualizing the result) work only if there was a decision to do it. They really worked because there was a decision to go for it. It's not them that made the act. So I need to change my decision algorithm. The techniques help make the the doing better but they don't make it happen.

I approached one attractive girl today asking for a bus or sth. I felt fear while doing it and I did it while feeling it. Well, the thing is if fear is there I can just do it. If there was a decision to do it, nothing can stop me. Although fear is there for a reason and the approach wasn't really smooth. But the point is you can do it even if you feel fear.

Reciprocate

Juggler:

"Appearing confident is not about expressing confidence. It
is about confidently expressing everything."

"Handling women is a balancing act. You can't let her show
interest without reciprocating or she will catch herself, feel
desperate and renege. Showing corresponding interest in her
locks her commitment in. Match it or lose it."
This is why cocky didn't work for women approaching me.

--------

I went out today to meet my friends. With the proper body language and
tonality I can be the center of attention and drive the interaction. I'm like
a talk show host. This works especially in the beginning, later I tend to
forget and just do what I enjoy most. I show no neediness in the social
situation. This works like magic. I had to regain my state when I was going
to the meeting. I wasn't feeling good then. I used the usual techniques from
my notepad. Also R1 from Gunwitch and Attention wich is the best.
Later we went to a club. I have no trouble being interested in a girl and dancing in front of them. I still am terrifyed to grab them by the hand. I will do this someday.

Attention is the only technique

I went out today with no real intention. There was an intention of doing 5 opinion approaches for Stylelife's day 5 but I couldn't make it. I expected this to happen. After a high there is a low. I felt bad today. I got OK after drinking coffee and focusing on my attention. Again I don't know what really works, the coffee or the awareness radius. Attention is all. Attention is the only technique. Imagine a 3D cursor locking onto people. That is your attention. If the cursor goes on you, you are self-conscious. I saw today that girls notice my AR. They keep passing by me and smiing if I lock onto them. OR even lock into something else. Attention is key. Attention is all there is. Attention is all I can ever do. The night before I was imagining how I can overcome fear. I came to the same conclusions as NLP methods. Basically you DO something after a series of choices. The argument with the biggest priority wins. To make the biggest priority just make the picture in your head bigger. It worked just once today. An attractive girl passed by and I stopped her to
ask for directions. The good thing about it was that I had a thought and a little fear before doing it. If I learn to manage fear I won't have to rely on my STATE and NOT THINKING to do things. One more thing to remember: Don't tell your inner CHILD what to do. I wanted to speak in a manly way to shop people and the child was terrfied and it didn't let me even walk into the shops. Just let go. Make an intention of the desired effect. Rehearse it. But don't force to do it. Just accept that you won't do it now. Just allow the CHILD to do whatever it FEELS is best.

Also: I was training card tricks today. I used Bruce Lee's technique or rather attention. It's magic.

Ball of emotion (2 days late)

Fear into charisma.

Beliefs and thoughts create energy.
We have a belief on our logical brain and then we assign a symbol of the energy to get it to the emotional brain. Then you get it into the body, then to breathing.
It's not enough to form a linguistic belief. Symbology, energy, breath.

1. Never take a woman's first response as written in stone. It's just a response of where she is at the moment.
2. Anything she gives you is just a toy for you to play with.
3. They can do whatever they want, I control where my energy goes.


Your intent must be most important. You just see intents of other people, not get into them.

Beliefs:

A. I believe I can learn everything.
B. Inside of me is the set of resources and abilities that is greater than any challenge in the external world.
C. Anything that comes up is coming to be handled, healed, learned from and released.

When you're thinking about how you fucked something up you are rehearsing the same behaviour!


---------------------

I was doing Style's telephone excercise today. I must do this more often. I can't call a girl and talk like now! First of all I must speak loudly and confidently and slowly. No matter if they hear you or not, that is all they think of you. So control the voice in a relaxed maner. Second thing: always say "I'm XXXX" in the beginning to establish some rapport. Use the vacuum. I did like Juggler, after the 3rd call, and it works great. It's so powerful and funny.
I realized today that lack of my social skills is because of fear of loss. Throughout my life I didn't accept the way I am, the way I am percieved socially so I didn't go out with the intent of learning this stuff. If I ACCEPT how I interact with people TODAY I will go out and train neverminding the awkwardness of my interactions.

Tao

Tao of Jeet Kune Do:

"The conciousness of self is the greatest hindrance to the proper execution of all physical action."
Talking is a physical act.

"Turn into a doll made of wood; it has no ego, it thinks nothing"
If I review times when I "did" something I wasn't thinking...

"If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will discolose themselves. Moving, be like water"
If I don't contrain myself to a particular frame but be flexible, my words will flow like a river.

IT'S NOT ME THAT - DOES - STUFF!!!!!!

"The perfect way is only difficult for those who pick and choose. [...] The struggle between "for" and "against" is the mind's worst disease."
To get rid of the disease go with it. If you will think of getting rid of it you'll be thinking of the pink elephant. Keep company with it.

"In Buddhism, there is no place for using effort"

Sequoia paranoia

For the last 3-4 for days I was imagining appoaching girls before bedtime.

Open IMMEDIATELY with the first person that will listen to you. Say anything! Hey, what's happening?

Thing I want to practice:
Walk up to people and make statements and then go away.
This will be a part of a two step process to eliminate fear of the first approach and entering a routine.

Barry White's basso profundo.
Use the new voice with strangers.
Insert pauses in your sentences. (1-3 pauses)

Train talking sentences! I forgot about this excercise.

I AM COMPLETE AT EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE.
A sequoia is always a sequoia, from a seedling to a big tower.


In the past months I was in a position of learning. Affirmations set you in the mindset of an already succesfull person. If I'm in the mindset of an unskilled person I will act like him. I feel now like a succesful person with women. All my thoughts and behaviours seem to attract women, I can sense it. The mindset of an already succesful person is the key. I can feel it now but can I step into this energy when I lack it?


-----------------

Attention.
Today I realized how it works. While practicing vocal I used attention in 3D. And I directly respond to that. Attention works in 3D. I wonder if it works in 4D?

First... nothing?

I got my first approach in a club. I got my first number from a girl.
The thing that is really interesting is that it is nothing. It's no big deal. It's like breathing, it's just comfortable.
I was in a happy mood all day. I worked out, I went running. I trained my voice, did a lot of talking. Then when I met with my friends I was really alpha with them and I lead the whole interaction towards fun. In the club I had major fears. I had to really wait for a specific moment to go up to 2 girls and tell them a line from DYD Marie Interview. That's all I did with them. A major improvement in my game is dancing in front of girls. I still didn't grab them but I do a lot of eye contact and smiling. The chick I got the number from approached me first. I decided to drop cocky&funny for today and it worked. I was just flirty. That was our interaction. We just flirted, I didn't have any romantic interest in her. I generally told her to write down her number. She said she has a boyfriend so I told her we can hang out at some party and she gave me the number without hesitation.
My overall mindset/goal for today was dissociation. As I'm writing this I am totally disassociated. The whole night was a process towards this. Intention for mindset works. Use it.


------------------------------

Talk about stuff what state you are in. It is the easiest.

------------------------------

Motivation to talk comes from wanting to dominate the frame.
The best frame comes from being yourself. It is a feeling.


-----
Stylelife challenge task 2

a. One or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.

Quiet. Not manly enough.

b. One or two sentences describing how you'd ideally like to be perceived by others.

Outgoing, MAN.

c. Three of your behaviors or characteristics that you would like to get rid of.

Shyness, need of approval, social fears (fear of social loss).

d. Three new behaviors or characteristics that you would like to adapt.

Talkative. Fearless. Social frame dominance.


-------------------

Alexander technique!
Head is heavy and affects back compressing.
http://www.stylelife.com/archive/2006_07_02_archive.html
Feel Style!