Story telling

THE ONLY WAY TO DO SOMETHING IS NOT TO TRY TO DO IT.

Focus ONLY on changing your values and metric.
After that only try to control the behavior. Change your behavior to change your personality.

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Style:
Sense what people need and give it to them.
Make them feel good about themselves.


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RELATING

I'm starting relating excercises today with flash cards and words to relate.

"One by one, I want you to flash one card in front of your face and RELATE to it. Time yourself. Try to relate to it with a story that involves YOU for at LEAST 30 seconds. Try to make the story as funny as possible."


Dan, Charisma Arts:
"The first step is re-indexing your entire life story. Mostly we index our stories and memories based on things and events, not emotions. So when you try to think back to a story where you felt a certain emotion you don't have an indexing system. So it's time to re-index your brain."

"Take a moment and write down every emotion you can think about. At first only write down positive emotions. Small list huh? Well get researching. How many more emotions can you come up with. Have a goal to write down at LEAST TEN."
"Now that you have done that go back and next to every emotion think about your life and the stories in your life about YOU. Write down a headline that hooks the story. Next to each of those emotions try to have at least one story that demonstrates that emotion."
"What you have now done is re-indexed your brain to recall stories every time you identify an emotion."
"As soon as she tells you something, figure out what emotion she is giving you. If this is difficult, role-play with a friend telling stories or statements. Once they are done repeat what emotion they were giving you and have them tell you whether you are close or not.

Now you are ready to relate. When she gives you an emotion you then say "I can relate to that. One time [insert headline]. [Tell story that relates to her emotion].""

"Just remember to describe your story using as much detail about how you felt at the time. Always tell the story in the I perspective. Don't sit down and pre-plan your stories. If you have to, take one story and write it down and re-write it adding as much detail about emotions that you felt, then polish it up. After doing that to one you will understand and be able to tell all your stories like that without pre-planning."

Chad Diego de la Vega:
Use the phrase "“I like that” it "is much more genuine, and more daring.

"“That’s cool”
Generic and impersonal (no one is held accountable to back it up).

“I like that”
Personal (you are backing it up)--a huge improvement; but it’s still generic.

“That was a well-told, vivid story”
More specific--a big improvement; but it’s still impersonal.

“I like how vividly you told that story...”
Both personal and specific. This is the most powerful.
"

" Tone and body language are perhaps even more important in making it personal: smile, lean in, touch her, speak with your whole body, fully commit with your whole being to what you say. But this will all naturally happen if you talk about things you genuinely care about."

"You already share many emotional experiences with anyone you'll ever approach: you've both felt excitement, wonder, boredom, rage, tiredness, humiliation, confidence, anticipation, embarrassment, jealousy, happiness, shyness, euphoria, sadness, lust, contentment, fear, exhilaration, among many more. Chances are, you'll be able to relate to the very first thing someone says that has any emotional content. Whether she says "I want to f#@% you" or "f#@% off!" or anything in between, you can relate. I think I've gotten both of those."

"The key is to relate to the emotion behind the statement, not the factual content of the statement."

Two great default questions to always have ready are: 1. "What was that like?" and 2. "How did that make you feel?"

"Whenever you speak, be always answering the above two default questions for the benefit of your listeners."

"People who understand and assume this connection are comfortable being open, and they radiate a warmth and friendliness that pulls people around them into their world."

STORYTELLING:

1. What do you want to convey?
What do you want people to know about you? What if this story is the only thing they'll hear about you.

2. A story can be any experience.

3. Completely engage in the story. Feel the emotions you want to convey.
Sense sub-modalities. See, hear, feel, smell, touch.

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If I feel I need to make a transition of any kind, it is just the feeling of fear because I will need to carry on the conversation.

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BE TALKATIVE. It is the ultimate answer to "what they'll think about what you said". If I constantly talk I can talk about whatever I want, because people will forget what I talked about 10 seconds ago, there will be new stuff they'll have to evaluate all the time.