Synchronicity

When I'm entering a facility I must conscously make a decision that I want to meet somebody there. If I don't believe I'll do it, make another decision or don't make any decision and nothing will happen.

Today was a wierd day. Why it was wierd probably explains why I am in this "state". I was talking to my dad and for the first time in history he said that I should get a girlfriend. Now I understand that he never talked about sex but this could be addressed once or twice. This was the first time he directly stated it. Mysteriously I felt really good about and I feel something is changing inside of me. My father always had authority and what he says deeply inprints in my mind, so I'm glad he said that. Later I was talking with my grandparents and they too several times stated that I should get a girlfriend or that I have problems with people, stuff like that. It's like all external forces are there to help me. They are uniting. Synchronicity.

Today I had a thought that because I live at home with my mother, my unconsious mind thinks I live with a woman so there is no need to seek one. I only look for OPPORTUNITIES not REAL GIRLS. I either need to move out or make my subconscious know that mom is dad's girlfriend...

I used NLP for overcoming the fear of looking at a girl standing/sitting next to me. I failed again today, it was the same situation. Whenever I want to look directly at my side I feel this tremendous fear, self-hypnosis, I am immobilized. I was really cool but some force didn't allow me to look at her. I glanced at her once, that was a success. This belief that it is a real force is bull-shit. It is the fear, the thoughts that prevent me from doing the thing. The only success I had when overcoming this type of fear is when I stopped thinking at all / I thought about it in a different way (not the I'm projecting that I'm interested in her way). Also I had this fear with a girl in the bus. I forced myself to look at her for 2 seconds. It worked after I thought about solypsism. This is my reality, everyone is a product of my consciousness. Steve Pavlina says this is the way to eliminate fear. He's got a point but this needs training. Tomorrow I'm going to place myself in these fear situations. Although I'm terrified to death it is sort of amusing. Because fear is fun for me.