Madness

I nearly slipped the edge of sanity today. I now understand why occult stuff is so dangerous. Or why you have to open up all your chakras in specific order. I thought I was prepared for it. I think it has to do with my stuff about Introduction to the Mind at Work. It is so powerful this what I have discovered. I nearly totally lost it today. Jekyll brought me back, I started reading his articles on madness. Thank goodness. I'm back in reality now.

I think I would not have realized this if not a series of events that lead me to stay at home eventually. As if a guide was preventing me from leaving the house. I got a nose bleed early in the morning so I got later than I wanted to. Then when I was about to leave the house for a bus I got the bleeding again. Later I left the house 2 minutes too late, cause I had to reply to a post. Whatever I think of this, I might take a note that it was synchronicity.

Some interesting thoughts:
The other night I was dreaming about this archetypal girl. She looked like Larry David's wife in Curb Your Enthusiasm. I remember Larry said the actress "just knew how to take care of him". That is exactly the archetype that was dominating in that dream. It was that girl. The girl that just... knows me. Today while delusioned, I had visions of this anima. A naked girl would come to me and take me by hand and lead. I realized this has been my dream all my life. It is probably one of the main reasons why I never did anything about girls, because this vision was so dominating. I dream that a girl will just come to me and know what to do about me. That she'll just silently take my hand and lead me. If a girl like that appeared in reality I swear to God I would marry her. That is the woman of my dreams. But I can't think about this any more. It's a pathway to madness.