Reward from your master

I haven't been going out since the last blog entry so... I have been doing a lot of thinking instead. Something that I'm good at lol.
Also I have renewed my Myspace experiment. I want to see what stuff works. Now I'm using simple techniques to try to get the phone number as quickly as possible. I'm still not commited to actually getting a date and going to it but we'll see.
I realized I don't have the feelings of awkwardness that I had a couple of months ago when messaging random people. It felt stupid back then and I rationalized it and the feeling had gone after a couple tries. I will try to do this at every step of the interaction I get into. I hope this will have relevance in real life then. I think it does. If not it's still an excellent tool fo practicing flirting.

Shit... I have been trying to remind myself for the last 5 minutes what I was really gonna write about. Some strange paradox I have come up to.

2 things.
Working on my passions really makes me happy. Girls don't.
I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness to get the girls.
Happiness is a measure of are you doing the right thing from the organisms point of view.

That last thing is a new thing to my equation. Basically good feelings are rewards from your brain for you. If you think about the right things you get a reward. That's why if you think for example about what you don't have you feel bad. It's not productive to think about bad things. The brain is keeping 'you' for a reason. You are there for the brain and for the whole organism. Not the other way around. It wants to use you to fulfill its needs. The organism wants benefit from you. So you must do the right thinking. And if you do that it rewards you with feeling good.
Now I know that living in the NOW is good. I was afraid that it is an illusion. That this creates happiness but it is just a feeling there that can destroy my vision and goals. The reality is the organism is making you feel good because living in the now, or meditating is the RIGHT WAY OF THINKING.

So back to my equation. I'm willing to sacrifice happiness... but I really don't have to. If I am unhappy in persuading girls it is just because I am thinking or doing the wrong thing. Or the person is wrong and I must change something. That's all.
This organism (me) wants girls too (heck it's the reason it exists) and it knows way better than me how to get them, without reading Double Your Dating. I'm just making it harder because of my thinking. And that's why I feel bad when I overthink and don't do what's right.