OK where to start?
I did the opinion opener "Who lies more" for the very first time. Here's the story:
I went out of home and I felt really unmotivated, bad and a little sick. I was basically doing nothing for an hour and I decided to go for coffee. I sat at the corner of the shop. I started reading and drinking and my mood got great. There was a bunch of girls sitting a little farther and I decided that when I'm going out I will ask them for an opinion. In the meantime a group of girls sat next to me. Now for about an hour I was hesitating to start a conversation with them. I was in a great mood to run the opinion opener on them at first but then the more I waited the more nervous I got to the point I couldn't control shaking. And they finally left.
Just 2 girls were left and I just excused them to get pass. Then I cruised around a bit to warm-up. I did ask for the time a couple of times. I realized I cannot run the opinion opener. I said to myself FUCK THIS! I won't go home unless I do it. And I felt at that moment that this is the mindset that is gonna do it. Now for about 4 hours I was walking around the city trying to open with my opinion opener. I was in a really friendly mood with a perma-smile and 2 girls opened me up, but I didn't think of doing anything more (they asked for directions). I tried every single mindset and trick there is. Nothing. I finally decided to cut back a little and just ask "Who lies more" instead of running the whole routine (try something different rule). This felt a little easier but still I got tired and where feeling worse and worse. Finally after cruising the same spot for about the 5th time I spotted behind the bushes 2 girls talking. They were under 30, not my type. I realized that only after approaching them. I didn't even see them well when I decided to approach. The decision is really powerful. I approached them and spotted that they were in deep conversation but that did nothing and I opened them. I blew 500 sets before because they were talking and here I gave a shit about it. Basically my problem is not doing what I WANT. If I give a crap about what other people think or are doing at the moment I will do it constantly. I need to prioritize ME and my NEEDS. The actual experience was really... nothing. I felt good after it but it was no big deal. It felt very unnatural when I was spitting the words out, but hey this was the first time I ever did something like this in my life. This is my new path.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Frame game
Manly activities:
- listening to metal
- playing metal on guitar
- reading Maddog and A. Hall stuff
- watching George Carlin, Southpark
- push-ups
- watching 80's movies and action games
-----------
I went out today with the intention of getting to the social state. It was harder this time. About 3-4 hours it took me until I could walk up to girls and ask for the time. But it worked and I broke some comfort zones. I couldn't get horny today. I will use Stalin's method for tomorrow.
I met a friend and a an old attractive female friend today. I was amazed by my maintenance of frame. It was after geting into the state. I was really laid back and spoke only what I wanted to. Maybe maintaining a frame can be done by intention also?
I'm doing the 7x70 affirmation technique for the second day now.
Note about frames: the whole purpose of the game is holding people in your own mind frame.
Successful frame = strong beliefs + rehearsed context
YOu must FEEL superior to the person. It comes easy with low value people. It spoils automaticly with high value. But it is all in the brain. Change frame, put yourself on th highest position, build strong beliefs and you will never fall from that place.
- listening to metal
- playing metal on guitar
- reading Maddog and A. Hall stuff
- watching George Carlin, Southpark
- push-ups
- watching 80's movies and action games
-----------
I went out today with the intention of getting to the social state. It was harder this time. About 3-4 hours it took me until I could walk up to girls and ask for the time. But it worked and I broke some comfort zones. I couldn't get horny today. I will use Stalin's method for tomorrow.
I met a friend and a an old attractive female friend today. I was amazed by my maintenance of frame. It was after geting into the state. I was really laid back and spoke only what I wanted to. Maybe maintaining a frame can be done by intention also?
I'm doing the 7x70 affirmation technique for the second day now.
Note about frames: the whole purpose of the game is holding people in your own mind frame.
Successful frame = strong beliefs + rehearsed context
YOu must FEEL superior to the person. It comes easy with low value people. It spoils automaticly with high value. But it is all in the brain. Change frame, put yourself on th highest position, build strong beliefs and you will never fall from that place.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Manliness
I was testing state change today. My goal is to go out and get in a state where I can approach people without effort. I did it today in 2 hours! I drank a coffee also, maybe that has a part in it. Who knows. I'll see what happens tomorrow. I also wanted to try Gunwitch, atleast at eye contact level but I wasn't horny because of masturbation the other day. I must surround myself with masculinity archetypes. Just by reading about manly men I feel testosterone pumping in my vains. I wanna be like Arnold, I am a pirate! ARG!!!
I realized today that a couple years ago I was gaming a girl using Ali G lines. I think this might be a good frame. Also it is manly.
---------------------------------------
"Hey, real quick! What is a good place to eat around here?"
"Blah blah "
"Nice, you are my new tour guide" (knuckle to knuckle hit)
This is my new technique I will use:
http://bigsend.blogspot.com/2006_01_15_bigsend_archive.html
FRAME CONTROL
maaseiah: "Work on your imagination. When you imagine anything, always imagine it working out in the best possible way for everyone involved. (this will also eliminate stress)Do this vigilantly. Do it all the time (even when you masturbate, imagine it is sex with your ideal partner and you both are enjoying yourselves beyond words. Make sure you imagine every detail as though it were happening. Make sure that you are masturbating within the experience rather than at the picture). Work on maintaining your frame all the time. BELIEVE IT! Get better at maintaining your frame while talking to people. Get better at holding your frame while picking up girls. When you do this enough that your experience backs it up, you will not
have to think about it as much. Write down your frame. Do it from a place of appreciation for having what you want. (Ie: I am really enjoying having every woman I meet want me, It feels great to be the guy who gets all the girls, etc.) Create your frame exactly the way you want as though you already have it. Vividly picture each experience as you write it down. Do this every day. (this is not about making up stories, it is about making base beliefs. Make them basic)"
I realized today that a couple years ago I was gaming a girl using Ali G lines. I think this might be a good frame. Also it is manly.
---------------------------------------
"Hey, real quick! What is a good place to eat around here?"
"Blah blah "
"Nice, you are my new tour guide" (knuckle to knuckle hit)
This is my new technique I will use:
http://bigsend.blogspot.com/2006_01_15_bigsend_archive.html
FRAME CONTROL
maaseiah: "Work on your imagination. When you imagine anything, always imagine it working out in the best possible way for everyone involved. (this will also eliminate stress)Do this vigilantly. Do it all the time (even when you masturbate, imagine it is sex with your ideal partner and you both are enjoying yourselves beyond words. Make sure you imagine every detail as though it were happening. Make sure that you are masturbating within the experience rather than at the picture). Work on maintaining your frame all the time. BELIEVE IT! Get better at maintaining your frame while talking to people. Get better at holding your frame while picking up girls. When you do this enough that your experience backs it up, you will not
have to think about it as much. Write down your frame. Do it from a place of appreciation for having what you want. (Ie: I am really enjoying having every woman I meet want me, It feels great to be the guy who gets all the girls, etc.) Create your frame exactly the way you want as though you already have it. Vividly picture each experience as you write it down. Do this every day. (this is not about making up stories, it is about making base beliefs. Make them basic)"
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
jodelilol
I've been doing a lot of voice excercises lately. At last I am seeing the effects of this. Now I see that voice is state + training. Your body must learn how to talk and then you enter that state.
Good mini-state to be in. Remember how you think, act when you got a good line to say. Always act like that.
How a salesman cured himself of self-consiousness:
"by remembering how he FELT, and how he ACTED when he "was going to the kitchen eat with Ma and Pa".
He would imagine or pretend.
I want to imagine my great social interaction before new ones.
Remember how you feel at home in bed.
My comment on GUNWITCH METHOD:
If there was a little bunny running around near you, would you kill it? Of course not it's a cute little bunny rabbit, let's play with it! Now suppose you are in the wilderness and you haven't ate for 10 days. Would you still play with the rabbit or would you smack his fucken head with a rock and eat the mother fucker?!?!
The same is with girls. Social conditioning makes us stop the sexual urge. We think it is wrong so we don't let our testosterone drive us. No wonder we don't fuck girls if we aren't in the state to do it. Getting horny without fear or embarassment is a big part of a DJ.
"First eye contact between you and another male should ALWAYS be broken by
him first in a social situation to indicate dominance at a primal level and keep the
guy from doing the above jokes at your expense behaviors. This also makes you
feel less like giggling at his jokes, as you feel more dominant than him."
Instead of thinking about not laughing or giggling at someones insults or stupid jokes, think about the first encounter and establish a dominant position. The frame will work for you.
Do not make jokes to people that don't know you until you gain respect. <- this is the missing link, when I was thinking about is it good to send jokes all the time at a party. Respect produces laughter.
"The hover is simply that, you hover near the person until you catch them out the
corner of your eye looking at you, THEN you reciprocate eye contact and say
hello, this much in the same way you assume a rapport or assume a sexual state
FEELS to them as if they have given YOU the vibe first.
"
I wanna train hover behaviour tommorrow.
Good mini-state to be in. Remember how you think, act when you got a good line to say. Always act like that.
How a salesman cured himself of self-consiousness:
"by remembering how he FELT, and how he ACTED when he "was going to the kitchen eat with Ma and Pa".
He would imagine or pretend.
I want to imagine my great social interaction before new ones.
Remember how you feel at home in bed.
My comment on GUNWITCH METHOD:
If there was a little bunny running around near you, would you kill it? Of course not it's a cute little bunny rabbit, let's play with it! Now suppose you are in the wilderness and you haven't ate for 10 days. Would you still play with the rabbit or would you smack his fucken head with a rock and eat the mother fucker?!?!
The same is with girls. Social conditioning makes us stop the sexual urge. We think it is wrong so we don't let our testosterone drive us. No wonder we don't fuck girls if we aren't in the state to do it. Getting horny without fear or embarassment is a big part of a DJ.
"First eye contact between you and another male should ALWAYS be broken by
him first in a social situation to indicate dominance at a primal level and keep the
guy from doing the above jokes at your expense behaviors. This also makes you
feel less like giggling at his jokes, as you feel more dominant than him."
Instead of thinking about not laughing or giggling at someones insults or stupid jokes, think about the first encounter and establish a dominant position. The frame will work for you.
Do not make jokes to people that don't know you until you gain respect. <- this is the missing link, when I was thinking about is it good to send jokes all the time at a party. Respect produces laughter.
"The hover is simply that, you hover near the person until you catch them out the
corner of your eye looking at you, THEN you reciprocate eye contact and say
hello, this much in the same way you assume a rapport or assume a sexual state
FEELS to them as if they have given YOU the vibe first.
"
I wanna train hover behaviour tommorrow.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Be your best self
"When you think you lack words, what you really lack are ideas. Ideas come in the form of frames. When the frames are there, the words come readily."
-- George Lankoff [p23, Don't Think of An Elephant]
Stay in the set until they reject you.
Do not hold your tongue to be “polite” do not try to avoid “dominating the conversation”. Some call this loosening up, others call it “the gift of gab”.
Whatever you call it, LET WHAT IS INSIDE YOU COME OUT.
The greatest power as an influencer is to represent such an authority of speech and powerful model of how things work that it draws in the listener to your model of how things work or should work.
GUNWITCH:
"Unless she is very unaware of
the way the world works, she realizes you are making the first move because you
are the man she is the woman, this is the way shit works.
Around 5 of 10 women you approach are going to be receptive to it, no shit,
about 5 of 10. You fuck things up and you might bore them, turn them off, repulse
them, not attract them to you, not excite them etc, but that’s what the rest of this
course is for. It’s going to be maybe 1 in 10 that’s going to have some strange
reaction. Maybe the other 4 will be a bit standoffish because they aren’t attracted
much."
"Trick three: Do not masturbate at all until you have approached 25 women in all.
Another words you get NO sexual release from any outlet aside from a woman
until you have approached 25 women. If you have fear of approaching women
when you are not drunk or in a social setting you may need to do this last one
also for approaching women while sober and in non bar and club environments.
Even better once you have gotten used to not masturbating regular you can
stimulate yourself but not release first thing in the morning or at night before bed
also. This is called the “Stalin’s” trick and it works great,"
"Women who you are most attracted to are usually most attracted to you as well."
"Women who you are most attracted to are usually most attracted to you as well.
This may seem counter intuitive and I won’t get in to evolutionary psychology
here, but really the women you find absolutely “MUST HAVE” tend to wind up
seeing you as more attractive than other women also."
RELAXATION 1.
R “relaxation of mind pace and body through
familiarity with female interactions and realizing others care more what I think of
them than they even think of me”
"THE thing you must realize to overcome this in the beginning of your meeting
new women is that no one is thinking about you. Yep, they are not thinking about
you, not at all."
"Actually thinking that you need to relax your mind and body can actually cause
the opposite reaction inside your mind, so field work/ effort/ interactions are a
major key in this are to get you past this. After a bit of meeting, talking to and
especially after having gotten results with women this will be easy to do if you
simply pay attention to it and realize the above statement that others always are
trying to impress you/ “others care more what I think of them than they even think
of me”."
This is turning the world inside out. Might be good cause it uses the same neural networks but backwards.
"YOUR MISSION: Approach 25 more women while the entire time hardly thinking
anything but “all she is thinking about is what I think of her” anytime your internal
monologue turns on."
-------------------
ALL SOCIAL PROBLEMS COME FROM TRYING TO BE LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING WHAT YOU ARE.
-------------------
Go to a mall, and basically ask every hot girl you see for the time..
Here's the kicker, after about an hour of this we wanted to take it to the next level..sooooo we put our watches on and continued... some girls didn't even noticed, but for the one's who did, we fed them a few rehearsed DHV stories behind the watch..
"it doesn't work but it holds sentimental value because:" examples included everything from "a gift from my ninety year old neighbor who is now passed, for always taking care of her puppy" to "received it as a reward for pulling 2 kids and a chiwawa out of a burning building a few years back" regardless, they were all bull shit stories.. but 9 times out of 10 the girl was so amazed that u could see the awestruck look on her face... most of the time we just left it at that and walked on (because we were on assignment) but twice my buddy managed to keep a conversation going and got a number (im still trying :)
-- George Lankoff [p23, Don't Think of An Elephant]
Stay in the set until they reject you.
Do not hold your tongue to be “polite” do not try to avoid “dominating the conversation”. Some call this loosening up, others call it “the gift of gab”.
Whatever you call it, LET WHAT IS INSIDE YOU COME OUT.
The greatest power as an influencer is to represent such an authority of speech and powerful model of how things work that it draws in the listener to your model of how things work or should work.
GUNWITCH:
"Unless she is very unaware of
the way the world works, she realizes you are making the first move because you
are the man she is the woman, this is the way shit works.
Around 5 of 10 women you approach are going to be receptive to it, no shit,
about 5 of 10. You fuck things up and you might bore them, turn them off, repulse
them, not attract them to you, not excite them etc, but that’s what the rest of this
course is for. It’s going to be maybe 1 in 10 that’s going to have some strange
reaction. Maybe the other 4 will be a bit standoffish because they aren’t attracted
much."
"Trick three: Do not masturbate at all until you have approached 25 women in all.
Another words you get NO sexual release from any outlet aside from a woman
until you have approached 25 women. If you have fear of approaching women
when you are not drunk or in a social setting you may need to do this last one
also for approaching women while sober and in non bar and club environments.
Even better once you have gotten used to not masturbating regular you can
stimulate yourself but not release first thing in the morning or at night before bed
also. This is called the “Stalin’s” trick and it works great,"
"Women who you are most attracted to are usually most attracted to you as well."
"Women who you are most attracted to are usually most attracted to you as well.
This may seem counter intuitive and I won’t get in to evolutionary psychology
here, but really the women you find absolutely “MUST HAVE” tend to wind up
seeing you as more attractive than other women also."
RELAXATION 1.
R “relaxation of mind pace and body through
familiarity with female interactions and realizing others care more what I think of
them than they even think of me”
"THE thing you must realize to overcome this in the beginning of your meeting
new women is that no one is thinking about you. Yep, they are not thinking about
you, not at all."
"Actually thinking that you need to relax your mind and body can actually cause
the opposite reaction inside your mind, so field work/ effort/ interactions are a
major key in this are to get you past this. After a bit of meeting, talking to and
especially after having gotten results with women this will be easy to do if you
simply pay attention to it and realize the above statement that others always are
trying to impress you/ “others care more what I think of them than they even think
of me”."
This is turning the world inside out. Might be good cause it uses the same neural networks but backwards.
"YOUR MISSION: Approach 25 more women while the entire time hardly thinking
anything but “all she is thinking about is what I think of her” anytime your internal
monologue turns on."
-------------------
ALL SOCIAL PROBLEMS COME FROM TRYING TO BE LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING WHAT YOU ARE.
-------------------
Go to a mall, and basically ask every hot girl you see for the time..
Here's the kicker, after about an hour of this we wanted to take it to the next level..sooooo we put our watches on and continued... some girls didn't even noticed, but for the one's who did, we fed them a few rehearsed DHV stories behind the watch..
"it doesn't work but it holds sentimental value because:" examples included everything from "a gift from my ninety year old neighbor who is now passed, for always taking care of her puppy" to "received it as a reward for pulling 2 kids and a chiwawa out of a burning building a few years back" regardless, they were all bull shit stories.. but 9 times out of 10 the girl was so amazed that u could see the awestruck look on her face... most of the time we just left it at that and walked on (because we were on assignment) but twice my buddy managed to keep a conversation going and got a number (im still trying :)
Friday, June 23, 2006
Life is feeling
" Everything we do, we do with agreement from the subconscious mind. To suggest that we will consciously override the subconscious is ridiculous. The subconscious mind is far and away the dominant force and must be reckoned with for any achievement to occur. Conversely, without subconscious concurrence, you will not be able to do it. Not for very long, anyway."
PJE:
"Self is feeling. Effort is illusion,"
"
Effort is an illusion created by the feelings that regulate your behavior. When you feel fear, for example, you are being reminded of what you don't normally do or what you believe is not safe for you. When you feel sadness, you are being reminded of what you value, but do not yet have or are losing. Acting against these (or any other) feelings creates a feeling of "effort".
And effort is like a limiting device that allows you to temporarily go outside your normal bounds. It's sort of like if the accelerator pedal in your car was designed to require you to push harder whenever you were exceeding the speed limit, so that you won't exceed it for long. It's just too much work."
----
Forget to update this journal 2 days ago.
In summary:
My goal was to get into 'a state' good for PU. I had difficulties and the results of my previous breakthrough were nowhere near. After some hours I managed to get into a semi-state and ask some girls the time.
One thing which is the greatest knowledge of all time:
LIFE = FEEL
PJE:
"Self is feeling. Effort is illusion,"
"
Effort is an illusion created by the feelings that regulate your behavior. When you feel fear, for example, you are being reminded of what you don't normally do or what you believe is not safe for you. When you feel sadness, you are being reminded of what you value, but do not yet have or are losing. Acting against these (or any other) feelings creates a feeling of "effort".
And effort is like a limiting device that allows you to temporarily go outside your normal bounds. It's sort of like if the accelerator pedal in your car was designed to require you to push harder whenever you were exceeding the speed limit, so that you won't exceed it for long. It's just too much work."
----
Forget to update this journal 2 days ago.
In summary:
My goal was to get into 'a state' good for PU. I had difficulties and the results of my previous breakthrough were nowhere near. After some hours I managed to get into a semi-state and ask some girls the time.
One thing which is the greatest knowledge of all time:
LIFE = FEEL
Sunday, June 18, 2006
The myth of willpower
I proved today that what you have to do to do something is get to a state were doing it is easy. I have to note what I did before going out today because I had a break-through I would say:
My intention for today was to go out and ask a lot of strangers for time or for directions and then use my routine. I felt no resistance before going out today and I was in a dissasociated state all day. I was really a rider on my horse. The night before was important. I listened to Voices by Vangelis and did a refactoring session. It was the most powerful one I ever did. I went back to a time in my life when I was 3 years old alone in the kindergarten. I literally connected to that me and started crying. Tears didn't show up but I could "observe" my face crying and I felt I was really lonely and lost. This is what I fear most. This is the basis of my insecurities. I have a terrible fear of losing people. I connected to that child yesterday and showed that there are different choices I could make. Instead of crying I realized my mom would eventually show up and that I could just go and have fun with other people. My thinking was wrong at that time. I then had a smile on my face for the rest of the CD playing. This is a way for dealing with my old insecurities, they served me well then but it is time for them to go.
Today I easily stopped beatiful classy women to ask for something and it is just fantastic how well they respond also I stopped groups of girls, approached women talking in a cafe, couples. Here are my notes from today:
- People "don't hear" you when you say Hey. Maintain neutral body language and follow up immediately to the question.
YOU don't do anything.
YOURSELF does it.
Let it do it's work and respect it's fears.
When you know what to say "yourself" does the talking and in the meantime you are thinking about other stuff.
My intention for today was to go out and ask a lot of strangers for time or for directions and then use my routine. I felt no resistance before going out today and I was in a dissasociated state all day. I was really a rider on my horse. The night before was important. I listened to Voices by Vangelis and did a refactoring session. It was the most powerful one I ever did. I went back to a time in my life when I was 3 years old alone in the kindergarten. I literally connected to that me and started crying. Tears didn't show up but I could "observe" my face crying and I felt I was really lonely and lost. This is what I fear most. This is the basis of my insecurities. I have a terrible fear of losing people. I connected to that child yesterday and showed that there are different choices I could make. Instead of crying I realized my mom would eventually show up and that I could just go and have fun with other people. My thinking was wrong at that time. I then had a smile on my face for the rest of the CD playing. This is a way for dealing with my old insecurities, they served me well then but it is time for them to go.
Today I easily stopped beatiful classy women to ask for something and it is just fantastic how well they respond also I stopped groups of girls, approached women talking in a cafe, couples. Here are my notes from today:
- People "don't hear" you when you say Hey. Maintain neutral body language and follow up immediately to the question.
YOU don't do anything.
YOURSELF does it.
Let it do it's work and respect it's fears.
When you know what to say "yourself" does the talking and in the meantime you are thinking about other stuff.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Start
I have a new memorized routine. I trained it a lot. I watched a lot of videos by Darren/Future. I went out today and couldn't really do anything. If you are the same as you were you will do the same as you always do. Memorizing the routine doesn't make you do it. But I have good feelings about this. I have to start slowly. I will break it down tomorrow. Here is a list of stuff that was right today:
- doing little courages from the beginning (like walking past HB's)
- "feeling" the crowd, vibing, seeing friendliness and likeness in people
- if stuck try something, anything different
- read the notebook.
- doing little courages from the beginning (like walking past HB's)
- "feeling" the crowd, vibing, seeing friendliness and likeness in people
- if stuck try something, anything different
- read the notebook.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Parabola
I slept like 1 hour today. I went out to read. First I read some Ericksonian parabolas and then a book about discovering your voice. I had a minisatori. I finally understood my underlying problems. I felt shaken, physically after that. Then I had an emotional low. These are all signs of nonconcious changes. Now I need to relax...
Monday, June 12, 2006
Plan
So my plan for the nearest days. This idea from the PUA videos really got into my head. I'm gonna start with stuff that I did already before. Intentionally stop people on the street and ask for directions etc. Stack these things to create a semi-convo and then in the next days I will proceed to opening up with a routine.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Blast!
I went to a club last night and I had a blast. My blood pressure was high all day. Before going I had a coffee, did 3 warm-ups by asking girls at us stops questions. Then we had drinks. I didn't analyze much because I was a bit drunk so I'll just mention the differences between this clubbing and the one I had a couple months ago. I went in a talkative mood and I was cocky with girls that wanted something from me. Then it occured that I should push and then pull. Stuff they did is:
- ask for cigarrette
- selling some kind of promotion
- asking if she can smoke here
I didn't do a single approach I was too afraid to use any opener. I need to train an opener during the day then I will use it, because on top of that fear is the fear of being not heard. Which is bullshit because you can talk in a club.
I didn't have any fear of walking and observing people. From one occasion a group of girls sitting at a table saw me. One of them was getting married and they wanted me to dance with her. In 10 seconds I was dancing with 20 girls around me. Wow and I didn't really feel anything. My mind was clear and I had no fear of anything. I could do with all the girls everything. But that's it I had no confidence to do anything else that night so I just had fun dancing. I can do it in front of girls without any fear and taking an active part. Big progress!
I've been watching today PUA videos. I really feel I can do this stuff when I watch these guys. I will make a habit of watching these videos everyday so it gets into my subconsiouss.
----------------
Tyler D on habit:
A big part of this is that I have NO OUTCOME for a very long time. My only outcome is to get my ass out of the house and to wherever I'm supposed to be. My criteria for success isn't how well I did. It's IF I SHOWED UP and did what I was supposed to do. My expectations of myself are very low.
- ask for cigarrette
- selling some kind of promotion
- asking if she can smoke here
I didn't do a single approach I was too afraid to use any opener. I need to train an opener during the day then I will use it, because on top of that fear is the fear of being not heard. Which is bullshit because you can talk in a club.
I didn't have any fear of walking and observing people. From one occasion a group of girls sitting at a table saw me. One of them was getting married and they wanted me to dance with her. In 10 seconds I was dancing with 20 girls around me. Wow and I didn't really feel anything. My mind was clear and I had no fear of anything. I could do with all the girls everything. But that's it I had no confidence to do anything else that night so I just had fun dancing. I can do it in front of girls without any fear and taking an active part. Big progress!
I've been watching today PUA videos. I really feel I can do this stuff when I watch these guys. I will make a habit of watching these videos everyday so it gets into my subconsiouss.
----------------
Tyler D on habit:
A big part of this is that I have NO OUTCOME for a very long time. My only outcome is to get my ass out of the house and to wherever I'm supposed to be. My criteria for success isn't how well I did. It's IF I SHOWED UP and did what I was supposed to do. My expectations of myself are very low.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Do
---------
On being talkative:
1. Think back on your life to a good experience you had, like a holiday or a great night out or anything.
2. Write it down and look at how great it is.
3. In your next 5 conversations tell people that story.
When that goes well, repeat it again. Don't worry about trying to fit it in anywhere. Just start telling it. You can start with "Oh man, I was looking at some holiday pictures today and..."
Just push through those uncomfortable parts. Just say anything.
DON'T THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY.
it doesn't matter WHAT you say
Don't let people interrupt you!!!! This was a big mistake of mine in the past. If someone said something loud enough while I was talking I stopped. Now I keep talking and they always listen to what I say!!!! ;-) Try this. It really helped me!!!
If someone interupted me I would let them speak for a moment and then be like 'Anyway...' (in a louder voice) and continue with what I was saying.
Talk about stuff that is interesting to you if there isn't anything to talk about!
I find that asking totally random questions works well, something like 'So whats your craziest dream?'
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I'm also in your situation. Here are my tips from the top of my head:
1. Relax.
Studies have shown that the part of your brain that generates speech gets blocked when you are in a stressful situation. This has evolutionary advantages so you don't start talking when you're hiding and a giant puma is walking nearby. So relax by focusing on losing tension in your muscles.
2. Focus on destination.
You must know the destination of your conversation. Your brain is a powerful tool but it must know it's goal. So if you don't have nothing to say you probably haven't set any goals for the conversation. It can be anything, like making the person laugh or making him/her comfortable...
3. Comfort.
If you are comfortable you can do anything. If you are comfortable you can say anything. Think about this for a moment.
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY SOMETHING AND COMMIT TO IT 100% DON'T SAY IT ALL.
--------------
I think I found out today how to DO things. Basically the problem is language. The part of you that does stuff is like a child and it doesn't like when you give orders. Another thing is that by language and by defining "yourself" you attach wrong meanings. For examples you don't do something because you think "I don't do stuff like that" or "I'm too afraid to do it". Those are just words and they don't express what you REALLY feel about doing the thing right NOW. So the thing is, you should get in rapport with your brain, connect the left and right brain or whatever it is. And now when you want to do something simply ask: "How can I do this?" and act upon what you feel or visualize you should do. Ignore completely language. Act upon your emotions and imagination. I tested this today twice and I find myself doing something completely different than usual.
A part of making this blog was to remember new definitions of myself. But I think it requires too much memory, it doesn't help that much, I still think of myself from the past not from the successes from the time of this blog.
On being talkative:
1. Think back on your life to a good experience you had, like a holiday or a great night out or anything.
2. Write it down and look at how great it is.
3. In your next 5 conversations tell people that story.
When that goes well, repeat it again. Don't worry about trying to fit it in anywhere. Just start telling it. You can start with "Oh man, I was looking at some holiday pictures today and..."
Just push through those uncomfortable parts. Just say anything.
DON'T THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY.
it doesn't matter WHAT you say
Don't let people interrupt you!!!! This was a big mistake of mine in the past. If someone said something loud enough while I was talking I stopped. Now I keep talking and they always listen to what I say!!!! ;-) Try this. It really helped me!!!
If someone interupted me I would let them speak for a moment and then be like 'Anyway...' (in a louder voice) and continue with what I was saying.
Talk about stuff that is interesting to you if there isn't anything to talk about!
I find that asking totally random questions works well, something like 'So whats your craziest dream?'
--------------
I'm also in your situation. Here are my tips from the top of my head:
1. Relax.
Studies have shown that the part of your brain that generates speech gets blocked when you are in a stressful situation. This has evolutionary advantages so you don't start talking when you're hiding and a giant puma is walking nearby. So relax by focusing on losing tension in your muscles.
2. Focus on destination.
You must know the destination of your conversation. Your brain is a powerful tool but it must know it's goal. So if you don't have nothing to say you probably haven't set any goals for the conversation. It can be anything, like making the person laugh or making him/her comfortable...
3. Comfort.
If you are comfortable you can do anything. If you are comfortable you can say anything. Think about this for a moment.
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY SOMETHING AND COMMIT TO IT 100% DON'T SAY IT ALL.
--------------
I think I found out today how to DO things. Basically the problem is language. The part of you that does stuff is like a child and it doesn't like when you give orders. Another thing is that by language and by defining "yourself" you attach wrong meanings. For examples you don't do something because you think "I don't do stuff like that" or "I'm too afraid to do it". Those are just words and they don't express what you REALLY feel about doing the thing right NOW. So the thing is, you should get in rapport with your brain, connect the left and right brain or whatever it is. And now when you want to do something simply ask: "How can I do this?" and act upon what you feel or visualize you should do. Ignore completely language. Act upon your emotions and imagination. I tested this today twice and I find myself doing something completely different than usual.
A part of making this blog was to remember new definitions of myself. But I think it requires too much memory, it doesn't help that much, I still think of myself from the past not from the successes from the time of this blog.
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