I proved today that what you have to do to do something is get to a state were doing it is easy. I have to note what I did before going out today because I had a break-through I would say:
My intention for today was to go out and ask a lot of strangers for time or for directions and then use my routine. I felt no resistance before going out today and I was in a dissasociated state all day. I was really a rider on my horse. The night before was important. I listened to Voices by Vangelis and did a refactoring session. It was the most powerful one I ever did. I went back to a time in my life when I was 3 years old alone in the kindergarten. I literally connected to that me and started crying. Tears didn't show up but I could "observe" my face crying and I felt I was really lonely and lost. This is what I fear most. This is the basis of my insecurities. I have a terrible fear of losing people. I connected to that child yesterday and showed that there are different choices I could make. Instead of crying I realized my mom would eventually show up and that I could just go and have fun with other people. My thinking was wrong at that time. I then had a smile on my face for the rest of the CD playing. This is a way for dealing with my old insecurities, they served me well then but it is time for them to go.
Today I easily stopped beatiful classy women to ask for something and it is just fantastic how well they respond also I stopped groups of girls, approached women talking in a cafe, couples. Here are my notes from today:
- People "don't hear" you when you say Hey. Maintain neutral body language and follow up immediately to the question.
YOU don't do anything.
YOURSELF does it.
Let it do it's work and respect it's fears.
When you know what to say "yourself" does the talking and in the meantime you are thinking about other stuff.
From shy guy to don juan. Daily experiences.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage."
