In the morning I talked briefly with this social dude from my class. I got affected by what is described in "Bypassing the will". I just observe myself acting totally different with people. My attitude changes. Today I intentionally stopped to talk to 3 people from my class just because. I had a great time and I see now that no conversation is meaningless, you must give everybody a chance to display themselves.
Later on I wanted to get in a coffe shop. I saw attractive girls in them and I freaked out. I was feeling really down. I realized why this is. I have an old neural net that is trying to please everybody. When I see an attractive girl I know she will find me attractive and also I know that I can't give her what she wants. So I runaway from the situation because I don't want to give her bad impressions because of me. I eventually got in a coffee shop and what I did was ACCEPTANCE. I used also some emotion releasing but I think the thing that worked was accepting how I interact with people. When I realize how I interact with people and I'm OK with that I'll do whatever I want to and I won't try to please everybody. So now I have a goal of meeting people in coffee shops, because I see there are a lot of attractive girls there. I will make baby steps in there but it will be worth it. Also it will cost me some money which isn't that good but the hell with it, let's do it!
From shy guy to don juan. Daily experiences.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage."
