In a dream

In a dream I have become conscious of one of the most important things about our relation with the
mind. You are a slave. Meditating on the I am before falling asleep is one of the greatest things
I have discovered. It allows for lucid dreaming and in those states all becomes clear on what the
mind is doing because you SEE that it is not real. I realized the mind is using you to gain power
and to convince itself for the truth of its claims. If you don't give this power to it, it will
drop. Unfortunatelly 90% of the time you will get used but with practice you can overcome this.
You must snap and see above it what has been happening.
Mental laziness - not giving power to any thought coming from the realization that no thought or
want is yours. You are just an observer.

Emotion is the interface

I have to set goals again, and write them down.
MEDITATE
TALK TO 1 STRANGER A DAY (EVEN HELLO)
THINK/READ/REREAD OLD STUFF ABOUT LONG-TERM GOALS, FEEL THEM
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RION:

"the fact that she is your counterpart, seeing her will only give you more strength and power to
be a real man."

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Voice projection:

- First is emotion

- then become muscles that articulate

- speak

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It is not you that wants the chick. Let the wanting. Allow it to happen, that's all YOU need to
do.

The burning desire

strapper:
http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=70246&fid=23#424222

"I think the key to being in the moment, when in the field, is to do exactly what your mind wants to do right at that exact moment. Look at the three second rule; you are supposed to approach because you decided you wanted to talk to them. This keeps the negative chatter from affecting what your inner desires really want to do. If you decided your not going to do something, then immediately change focus to what you do want to be doing."


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Fuck I'm feeling it again, I have to write about it.

This is probably the most important thing ever happening inside of me. I feel glory and power and burning desire in my heart. It makes me feel so wonderful. Even now after I was rejected. I just feel I can conquer the world. Remember that post by Stephane.
OK how I do it?
I think about manowar, about fighting and having a true purpose to die for, I see or think about women what they are (zenlike), I let this feeling build up inside me. I let it pump me up. It is a pump.

Also this post: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=71025&fid=23#428299.

"The reason why truly seeing a woman is good, in my opinion, is that it triggers your attractive masculine expression, i.e. "game." You are "on" or "in the zone." Often this is called being "money," as in "Dude, I met this girl. She was so beautiful, and we clicked, and dude....I was sooo money.""

Hope is not for you

Strange, it's like all the girls can't help feeling my power today. They can't control smiling, I didnt do anything about it though, wanting something and then not allowing yourself to do it drains your energy. It's better to do it.
I've had a satori experience again after reading Stephanes new post. Fucking brilliant, I felt so pumped up. This is what manowar teaches. Fuck THIS IS IT! Today I felt like this again. I felt a burning flame inside my chest. This is the most unbelievable feeling in the world. Nothing, shyness, bad mood, other people can get you. You feel you can conquer the world. I was blatant straight, asked the girl I picked up the other day out through a messenger. She rejected me. I felt horrible. My heart was in a cage. It felt bad but I knew it would happen. Still I was totally honest and acted with my heart and I feel love about myself. I embrace the pain it will only help me in achievment. Because the pain also comes from the heart. Do what it tells you. I destroy the tower made of thought in my head. It must go.I didnt approach today because still I was thinking. THERE IS NO FUCKEN USE IN THOUGHT!!! It is only there for survival. Hope is a construct of the mind because it wants to maintain. It wants to live and to reproduce. They are fucken false. It is not how you DO stuff. You DO from the heart or by JUST doing it. Not identifying with the mental pictures.

I gotta learn to let go of things. Sometimes I intuitively know things are gonna be fucked up. The times I just let things happen are times when it works.

Honesty and intuition

It's all about the state of animality. Having no human thought.

All in my notepad is money stuff. 
It works, finally. The trick is to disregard reason and follow your wanting. It is a pull.

For the first time in my life I picked up a girl in a dining place yesterday. I followed my wanting, the only thing I did consciously was not to let any negative thoughts arrive. Disregard them before they come, just because they are reason, only listen to your balls and heart.
Smile.

I'm being totally cool and OK with everything. I'm honest and I speak from the heart, it's the manliest thing I ever did. I love myself.

Every bad feeling I get I embrace. I'm habitualizing the "fighting consciousness" idea. I dwell and think and FEEL the tensions I get. ALL bad feelings are conflicts of interests. They need to be resolved, they must be resolved in the now!

Also lately I've been surrounding myself by strong male archetypes, music, film. I'm really living it now, constantly thinking of bravery, honesty, glory, manliness. I take zinc and lift heavy. I feel testosterone. I believe it causes me to believe in myself and forget about reason.

A lot going on

ethereal :
All (unintentional) thoughts are coming from this primordial energy source underlying the thought, right prior to the thought coming into form. If you look within you can trace the thought back into that energy source from which it came from. For example, when a fearful thought comes up, it is coming from this fountain of fearful energy in your consciousness.

What you do is to just unhook yourself from attaching to that energy, through awareness. Keep your awareness on that energy, and just sit with it until it dissipates little by little. When that energy runs out, the thoughts that spawn from it will also cease automatically.

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A lot has been going lately. I got more and more mentally unstable as I was struggling with my parents. It was the same time I wanted to quiet down my brain. I used all themethods in the book, being aware all the time, loving myself. All failed and seemed to go nowhere. Finally something snapped in me. I realized all thoughts are reasons. All reasons do nothing. Ultimately I am an emotional being. All my actions/inactions are determined on feelings. If the feeling hasn't changed nothing has changed.
I looked deep down in myself. I connected with the pain and went through doyletics down the most painful feeling. Each year seemed like a couple years and I struggled and cried. I understood what this feeling is about. I didn't ask it, I just understood. I never felt loved by my parents. I always wanted to be hugged but that never came. That feeling developed when I was 1. From that point I used all my energy and mental effort to determine why they don't hug me and how I can be hugged. Finally I understood it is their problem and really there is nothing I can do about it. It is not about me. They are sick people. I feel at peace now and all techniques work now.
Meditation on "I am" is fucken money. I actually lucid dreamed using it. I am always aware!!! There is no such thing as being uncosncious.
I'm start to reconnect and feel more desire now to be king and have lots of women. The feeling of wanting one woman is fading away and I want them all again. I'm waiting for that pull of sex energy. I realized yesterday when listening to player supreme that I must DO. It's all about doing. Reasoning is complete bollocks, I'm detachng myself from it day by day. Finally I will only be left with feelings and intuition. Only my heart will remain. Remain will only DO. DO, DO , DO.

Love

Osho:
Love yourself then meditate.

I think loving myself is the key to everything. What is it? Finding pleasure in existence at this moment. Accepting all that is in me. All is from me! It's a loop.

Focusing on my emotions of pleasure/love. Accepting every reaction thought.

Would you think about this if u loved yourself?
What would you do if you just loved yourself?
Can you just love yourself?


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Stop identifying with the bullshit in yourself and reconnect to the true self. Feel good.
If you're feeling bad there is a conflict there. Engage it with love.

Science of now

The body is a filter for the brain.

Nothing is a boundary between states. That will help other things not interfere.Get into states, not think about it. Thinking is a different state.

Science of the now (from http://www.duversity.org/emilios.htm)
"Three types of activity force the wanderer to maintain a vigorous self-releasing consciousness.
The first is his continual movement. It is not just that hunting, fruit collection and shepherding require the scaling of large areas and great bodily and mental agility. It is also that the wild herds move according to season, feeding conditions and weather changes.
The second type of activity for the wanderer is his continuous scanning of both the immediate and the distant environment. This scanning requires an ability “to conceive unified multiplicity on its own terms”, as Heidegger puts it. For that to happen it becomes incumbent on the wanderer to highly develop his senses, to have them interpenetrate and to use this interpenetration as the basis for understanding. The wanderer doesn’t only see. He discerns. He doesn’t only hear. He listens. Thinking for him is only an elaboration of sensing. The more all rounded his sensing, the more well rounded his thinking. 16
Interpenetration of the senses - what neurologists call synaesthesia - allowed our wandering ancestor to communicate with the surrounding area far beyond what the senses are able to conceive today. He was able to notice almost imperceptible changes and to conceive local phenomena in relation to more complex situations. Anthropologists tell us that the Kalahari Bushmen, the Australian aborigines and some tribes in the Amazon jungle are able to sense the presence of animals, the committing of human acts and the significant weather changes over great distances.
The third activity necessary for maintaining the wanderer’s self-releasing consciousness is close inter-personal synergy. Whether the prey is small but fast and needs to be driven into an impasse, or large but dangerous and needs to be surrounded, the hunter is obliged to collaborate with his kin. The same goes - though to a lesser degree - for the fruit collector.
More importantly, inter-personal co-operation must be sensitive and self-evident. Shouting or gesticulating is prohibited, since it may either betray the presence of humans, or confound the necessary tactical moves. What is necessary, particularly for hunting and fruit collecting, is the ability to co-ordinate action automatically and silently. Not only every second counts, every move must be executed at the right moment - and with appropriate accuracy.
The result of these three activities is that our wandering ancestors developed not only highly refined and effective senses; they avoided all those conceptual crystallisations which would cut them from the present, delay their movements and distort their conceptions of the environment. They had elevated alertness to a true art. Alertness required of them to develop larger craniums than ours - and anthropologists have indeed discovered such larger craniums."
"In contrast to everyone in the whole self-help and pick-up community I won't make you do stuff like: "Stop thinking", "Realize that", "Know that", "Think as if", "Apply the frame of". All of this reinforces whatever is going bad inside your head. Thinking about thinking just makes you think more! Use your body to stop thinking. Make specific actions to stop thinking.This excercise will hopefully eliminate one of the biggest problems there is for people. What you do is look people in the eyes. Every person you meet during the day, at work, at home, shops, street look them deeply in the eyes. On a busy street don't even not look at somebody for a second. Constantly look at people. In a city you should get hundreds of eye contacts a day. This is something that already has reprogrammed my brain a couple months ago but now I'm moving this a step forward. The purpose of this task is not to look in the eyes but to stop thinking what they think of you. The reason why you are not looking people in the eyes is because you are concerned of what they think of you if they catch you looking. To do this succesfully you must find a reason to make eye contact besides making eye contact! Don't ever think about making eye contact! So how?What you do is get yourself into the state of... WONDER. This is the state that you were in as a child. Before you got any concepts in your head. Before there was a spearation between you and other people. Before you knew that eyes look at you. You get into this state because of the reason you are looking at the eyes. My reason is to simply find out what the color of their eyes is. That's it, that reason does it for me. I just look at peoples eyes and I forget about what they think about. Other reasons might be: making statistics about eye color, checking if they will look at you, noticing the shape of the eye, trying to figure out their emotion from their eyes, trying to make a reaction like smile, manipulating into doing something like facial expression etc.This takes practice and I will do this daily."

"How to get in the role?
"Stanislavski said that “Imagination creates things that can be or can happen.” An actor must develop her imagination and learn to think on any theme; this will help the actor to adapt easily to any role."

"An actor should not truthfully believe the reality of events on stage, but she should believe in the possibility of events. The “magic if” transforms the character’s aim into the actor’s aim. An actor must try to answer the question
“What would I do if I were…” "

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I let go and listened to music.I had a wet dreams involving to very young girls and sex with them.I ate Zinc.I went out, looked people in the eyes. I ws opening my chakras while starring at people. I was hypnotized by my feeling great around them. I cried.I feel awesome and inspired.

Full moon

Moon study.Today is full moon.For the past 2-3 days I've been feeling like shit. I don't remember when I felt like this last time. I wonder is it because of the moon. Fortunately I broke out of it.

Here's a tip for next time:
- Be in the body, sense with skin.
- Find place with high energy (nature? friendly ppl?)
- Don't do musts and shoulds, be natural, do no-thing

Quotes and voice

UNDERSTAND

Understand the need. Unerstand the effort. The conclusion can only be its futility.

Mystery to Spoon:We are all trapped by our humanity. I have the same amount of fear as you do. You're not a special snowflake.

"ANYTHING that you can't say NO to, is your MASTER. And YOU are it's SLAVE." -V.U.

Pook: "Don't try to be masculine but try to be who you are."

Primasounds:"With perseverance, guidance and instruction, it may eventually come, but it cannot be rushed. Its not really a matter of trying hard either, for it comes in letting go."

"As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said thousands of years ago: All is flow. Nothing remains the same. You can never step into the same river twice."

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I've watched some videos of myself and I see that everything visual is in tact. I am commiting myself to better my voice. I know that I have the ability but I don't have the habits.The way I will do this is the 2 second pause for thought before speaking. This is the hardest thing but I will fight!

Level up

I haven't written about my past experiences. I was on a road trip. Everything seems to fall in place. I am finally a man, I have little weaknesses, I feel and act like a man,Girls just see me as some kind of god. I know it, they know it. No nervousness. Talking to people became spontaneous. I think I finally discovered how to do it. Just don't do it yourself. You are not in charge of the doing. Just do your chakras, let go of need and be spontaneous.I still cant find a girlfriend. I have stated it that I want one. It's probably just a matter of time, because I feel so unbelievable. It's like finally I have testosterone pumping through me. I want to pick up a fight with every man I encounter and I want to cherish every female I fancy.Funny thing is I haven't weight lifted for 2 weeks now. The other thing is I haven't watched porn or mastrubated in this time. I was gonna but I suspect this has smething to do with the high T level. Maybe something will snap in my brain when it sees there is no relief now.Another thing I think I have to attribute success to Hypnoticas approach cd.Another thing is probably working constantly on my throught chakras and tension feelings. They are not fully open yet, especially in the back.Another thing is probably my anima visualizations which I did a couple weeks ago. Couple days ago I had very intense visualizations when I was in a lucid dream. I want to do this today instead of masturbating.

Helplesness will help you

More info on it IS a pull:

Rion Williams:
Just see her as tasty bait if you want (I think you know what I mean). Womenwill cringe at this thought but it’s really about ‘starting’ the natural sexual a??raction process with her because you do have a lot of value you can offer her.\\

PJE:
Remember, you cannot lie to your Guardian. It is not your words that count, but your honest assessment of the situation.

OSHO:
"In your hopelessness is the only hope, and in your desirelessness is your only fulfillment, and in your tremendous helplessness suddenly the whole existence starts helping you."

Cool blog:

"http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/07/29/the-joy-of-living-dangerously/"
The way to deal with fear is to allow it. If you find yourself incredibly nervous at the idea of saying hi to someone you don’t know, stop trying to eliminate the anxiety, and instead train yourself to take action in spite of it. When you shine your attention on negative thought patterns, and allow them to be, they lose their power to take hold of and control you, and they ultimately evaporate.

But even pushing through fear can be tough if you normally live within your comfort zone. To break out of this rut, start small. Motivation follows action. Here are some examples of how to smallchunk your way to a becoming a risk-taker, and experience the joy of living dangerously:Talk to one stranger a day. When you make a habit of talking to strangers you meet lots of new people, increase your social intelligence, and fully engage yourself in the world around you. The best way to meet the girl of your dreams is to walk up to her and say “Hi”."