#1

I realized something today.
I can't really get into direct method. I can't get pass my fear just by will-power or whatever technique. I believe Juggler's method is the way to go, but I simply can't do it. I can't even start. The thing that actually gets me out and doing stuff is indirect, routines method. I have a lot of proof that this is not really good. I know that it is just a method of hiding insecurites. But hey, I have insecurities and this is what gets me to do things and makes me motivated. Better something than nothing. FOr the last 2 months I really didn't do anything because I was "training Juggler's method". Bullshit. Deeply inside I want to control people and everything I do in life is an indirect method of getting people to do what I want. Being direct and open with people is my greatest fear and one that I don't know how to tackle with. Probably the solution is to... just do it. You gotta hate self-help books.

Now that I know what to do I'm developing a bootcamp for myself. If it works I will glady help others with it (I'm looking forward to that). The whole bootcamp will be focused on getting outside of your social self (a version of Hypnotica's dildo on forehead experiment). Once in that position you can do things that you would never do and always wanted to. So here is the first task that I succesfully applied today:


#1 Stop thinking what other people think about you

In contrast to everyone in the whole self-help and pick-up community I won't make you do stuff like: "Stop thinking", "Realize that", "Know that", "Think as if", "Apply the frame of". All of this reinforces whatever is going bad inside your head. Thinking about thinking just makes you think more! Use your body to stop thinking. Make specific actions to stop thinking.
This excercise will hopefully eliminate one of the biggest problems there is for people. What you do is look people in the eyes. Every person you meet during the day, at work, at home, shops, street look them deeply in the eyes. On a busy street don't even not look at somebody for a second. Constantly look at people. In a city you should get hundreds of eye contacts a day. This is something that already has reprogrammed my brain a couple months ago but now I'm moving this a step forward. The purpose of this task is not to look in the eyes but to stop thinking what they think of you. The reason why you are not looking people in the eyes is because you are concerned of what they think of you if they catch you looking. To do this succesfully you must find a reason to make eye contact besides making eye contact! Don't ever think about making eye contact! So how?
What you do is get yourself into the state of... WONDER. This is the state that you were in as a child. Before you got any concepts in your head. Before there was a spearation between you and other people. Before you knew that eyes look at you. You get into this state because of the reason you are looking at the eyes. My reason is to simply find out what the color of their eyes is. That's it, that reason does it for me. I just look at peoples eyes and I forget about what they think about. Other reasons might be: making statistics about eye color, checking if they will look at you, noticing the shape of the eye, trying to figure out their emotion from their eyes, trying to make a reaction like smile, manipulating into doing something like facial expression etc.
This takes practice and I will do this daily.