Square one

I was out today again. I realized I won't go to a coffee shop or anything. I
have this strange depression-like anxiety. I'm feeling really wierd. On the
thinking level everything is normal. I have no neurotic thought patterns. Also
I get everything done and it looks normal outside. But on the inside I feel bad and
desperate. I realize it's just a feeling and I believe it's a chemical
inbalance. It might be because of my recent illness something is missing
biologically in me or it might be a lack of sth social. I haven't been really
social lately, I haven't seen my friends in a long time, that might be it too.
Anyways decided to see what stage I'm at and ask 3 people for the time or sth.
I couldn't do it. Back to square one I guess.I realized that I can beat feelings I just have to have a good plan. This is what worked before and I will use it again. Social situations have too many
random variables that's why you have to make it as clear as possible. I'll try making it clear like this:

Goal: Ask first friendly person X in location Y about Z
Purpose: I want to meet people at place Y, this will help me feel more comfortable

So goal and purpose. When I recall times when I didn't do my goals I really didn't have a purpose in them. I need to work on the purpose to motivate myself.