Changes

Since the last time I posted a message I was ill. Something strange happened because after taking medicine one day I woke up and a thought came to my head: I am different, I am changed. On a biological level I have changed for sure. Somehow my skin got clearer, I lost fat. What I have become is someone that has a lot of HUMILITY. That is the key word. I was really arrogant and thought I was invincible, this illness taught me something about not taking yourself so seriously. I feel very different, I remember U.G. saying there is no psychological change only biochemical one. I have come to an understanding that there is little or nothing you can do about yourself because all real changes occur on a biological level and how to induce them I do not know (hormones probably take a big part in this).What else have I been doing? I have been imagining interactions all this time. I have simulated dozens of interactions. I've been listening to Shark's CD's and doing his approach in my mind. I see no other way of doing this. I understand now the fault of the whole 'community'. Basically people teach stuff to make money and there is nothing you must learn. You just have to do it by yourself. You just have to fucken do it! Like in PJE's post the meaning of "just do it". I also wrote about it. You just have to do it no matter what state you are in. You don't have direct control over your state but you have control over yourself!!!I made a snap decision to stop reading any PUA material. I haven't read anything PUA related for the last few days and it is a bliss. Now I see how much time I lost and how working comes easily when I have nothing to read about. The oly thing I will do is watch PUA videos because it is proven that the brain really learns by watching role-models.Today deliberatly looked at a girl, knowing that she would know that I'm looking at her. I never did sth like this before, I feel anything is possible now, I can't wait to get better and meet some attractive females.