In dreams

I'm learning to accept all my fears, Zen style. Yesterday I started doing this.
First lesson: always be honest with yourself. I was in a bookstore, I didn't really want to go to a specific area but I thought there would be chicks there so I pretended I'm interested in books. When there were girls there and they looked at me I felt terribly ashame. If I were going there with the intention of meeting new girlfriends I would just smile and start a conversation.

I'm really into the solipsism idea now. If I would act like "reality" was a lucid dream I would live my life the way I want it to be. I dreamed today of a perfect interaction with a girl. It was some kind of party, and there was tension between this girl and me. I felt she was attracted to me, so I was cocky & funny with her. I was also AMOGing a guy in the dream but it felt bad and didn't have an affect on my target so I dropped it and we started listening to music on the headphones together (the other guy helped me do this!). And she was cuddling to me and overall it felt great, wow. Then I was going to ask for the number but somehow I was feeling doubt for the first time in this dream and I hesitated. So I woke up and nothing happened. Great metaphor.

Something

I don't feel like writing. I didn't feel like this in months. Something is changing.

Synchronicity

When I'm entering a facility I must conscously make a decision that I want to meet somebody there. If I don't believe I'll do it, make another decision or don't make any decision and nothing will happen.

Today was a wierd day. Why it was wierd probably explains why I am in this "state". I was talking to my dad and for the first time in history he said that I should get a girlfriend. Now I understand that he never talked about sex but this could be addressed once or twice. This was the first time he directly stated it. Mysteriously I felt really good about and I feel something is changing inside of me. My father always had authority and what he says deeply inprints in my mind, so I'm glad he said that. Later I was talking with my grandparents and they too several times stated that I should get a girlfriend or that I have problems with people, stuff like that. It's like all external forces are there to help me. They are uniting. Synchronicity.

Today I had a thought that because I live at home with my mother, my unconsious mind thinks I live with a woman so there is no need to seek one. I only look for OPPORTUNITIES not REAL GIRLS. I either need to move out or make my subconscious know that mom is dad's girlfriend...

I used NLP for overcoming the fear of looking at a girl standing/sitting next to me. I failed again today, it was the same situation. Whenever I want to look directly at my side I feel this tremendous fear, self-hypnosis, I am immobilized. I was really cool but some force didn't allow me to look at her. I glanced at her once, that was a success. This belief that it is a real force is bull-shit. It is the fear, the thoughts that prevent me from doing the thing. The only success I had when overcoming this type of fear is when I stopped thinking at all / I thought about it in a different way (not the I'm projecting that I'm interested in her way). Also I had this fear with a girl in the bus. I forced myself to look at her for 2 seconds. It worked after I thought about solypsism. This is my reality, everyone is a product of my consciousness. Steve Pavlina says this is the way to eliminate fear. He's got a point but this needs training. Tomorrow I'm going to place myself in these fear situations. Although I'm terrified to death it is sort of amusing. Because fear is fun for me.

The universe itself, keeps on expanding and expanding

I've been pretty much programming my unconscious mind for the last days with hypnosis. Yesterday I made a belief change technique once more + overcoming fear with NLP for the situation described in the last post. I didn't have any opportunities today. I tried to seek them out, I went to a McDonalds I never went before, just to brake my pattern when I'm coming home. Tomorrow I will actively seek eye contact. I want to place myself in a position with a girl to see how my fear level is. Then I will initiate eye contact or conversation just for the fun of it.

Juggler method:
1. Question to get information
2. Reward with smile, enthusiam and interest
3. Open ended question about however the person just responded.
4. Relate back with a story.
5. Repeat
"The main thing here that makes it all come together is genuine enthusiam."
"Get out of your head - your not THAT special."
I would add cocky and funny to this recepie because I don't like overly enthusiastic people because they are surely fake and annoying.
Hmm... one more belief to conquer? I'm annoying people?

The Opposite

When I left home I was feeling down, physically mainly because I didn't sleep well. I have to keep my window open if I sleep more than 7 hours or switch to polyphasic sleep. Now, I bashed myself for feeling down because I wanted to realise my commitment. Then I realised that I was bashing myself so I switched my thinking to how great I am. Then I thought about the patterns/loops that I'm in all my life so I decided I'm going to do THE OPPOSITE of everything. And I started doing this, suddenly I felt really great. I started projecting this male energy. I noticed a pair of really hot legs. I started staring at her ass and smiling. Nobody around me did that although she was bending over and it was a great view. It felt great. I really projected a lot of energy because I got a really nice smile from a girl. When I was returning home I felt anxious because I wanted to meet a girl today. I started talking to myself with this low, manly voice. I was starting to feel real confident. Soon it turned out that this voice is another personality. His name is Migel. He wanted to take control over me. I know he is the kind of guy that is unstoppable with women. He knows what to do and I need to give him full control when I'm seeking for girls. He is totally confident, integrated, suave and has beatiful green eyes that he hypnotizes women with. This is no joke, something switched in me although I didn't let it work fully as I describe later. So, I saw another proof today that the POWER OF INTENTION works. I wanted to meet a girl and right next to me stood a really beatiful girl reading a book. It was a perfect opprotunity. She looked at me, twice. I got the signal, I got the girl, I have something to talk about. This happened to me many
times and I always chickened out. This time I had Migel in control and... I chickened out. Migel was really angry with me because I interfered him. I kept consiously thinking about negative stuff and I immobilized him, although he knew exactly what to do and what the outcome would be. I need to trust him. When in the field I need to switch my personality to Migel and let him do the work. Do whatever it takes to hide the wussy me and don't let it interfer. If I fully become Migel it will be simple. I want this to happen.
I've always felt I have two personalities. Today I got a proof of it. This isn't an illness. All people have multiple personalties they just hide them or don't let them come out. Migel is really my masculine core. The man I want to be. He doesn't have some positives of my usual self (Jung: poetic, magician, he is a king warrior) but when I want to meet girls my usual self does nothing. For Migel it's natural because all he wants is to get laid.
I'll use hypnosis today to connect more with this masculine core and make it switch on whenever I feel AWARE of a NICE GIRL.

The great loop

I made a commitment today. I have to meet somebody soon. I'm in a big pattern. I feel great and I'm learning new stuff but this is a loop. I need to brake it and step into the next level. I either go talk to girls in my environment or go meet chicks online. Tomorrow I'll do whatever it takes to have intense eye contact with a girl or at least strike up a conversation.

Out of the head

I got really out of my head today. We were making a project with guys from my university group. It was really a blast, LOTS of laughs. I have the best time when we are doing stuff not talking. That is what I should intend to do with girls, do stuff with them instead of relying on the conversation (it always worked for me as far as I remember). If I speak about the university I got a nice conversation topic: I don't know what I'm doing there, I sometimes think I just go there to have fun (and talk about how stupid people are and how funny it is to be one of them).

I still haven't done the eye contact thing. As always I'm looking for the perfect moment. It's not gonna come and even if it comes I'm gonna chicken out. I have to do it with whoever comes in the line of sight after I make the commitment to do it now.
I think I changed my beliefs on bothering people with my talk. I used the museum of old beliefs technique and used hypnosis for gaining confidence. I didn't experience problems so it probably works.

Hypnosis week

I was happy all day after the hypnosis, don't know if really confident but I didn't feel no shyness. This is fun, I'm going to make hypnosis sessions all week if I can. Today also of course.

Interview technique: When someone asks you a question answer what you want to communicate to them, not what they asked for.

Hypnotize

If you start analyzing stuff too much it is a sign that you are doing something wrong. The over-analyzing is part of this. Over-analyzing and thoughts that can't get out of your head are caused by little stimuli of the brain. If you don't meet much people everyday you'll analyze and overthink every little bit of encounter. This is very bad because you get stuck in your head. Go out and recieve more mental stimuli, if it is not possible, fool your brain by watching a movie. You can also get outside of your head by focusing on the body and spiritual parts of you. So, go jog, or listen to music or hipnotyze yourself. Btw. I'm gonna hypnotize myself tonight.

Conversation

Socializing is an unconscious process due to the fact that 97% of our communication is non-verbal. It doesn't matter what you say but how. The self-consciousness is the main enemy in socializing. It is the root of shyness. If you don't think about yourself you are not shy. Consciousness is to be used only to make decisions. It is to make an intention of doing something. It isn't there to think about what to say, what to do. It is just there to control the sub-conscious so it doesn't project everything in your brain at once. It is like time (Woody Allen quote: "time is God's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once). It is there to order things to do.So trying to consciously think about what to say is an error in thinking. Self-consciousness is there to limit your possibilities. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, MAKE A COMMITMENT TO DO IT NO MATTER WHAT. The rest is left to the sub-consiousness and if you let it go, in a short time you will connect with the super-conscience and it will be the best conversation ever.

Pattern Interrupt: I know what to do instead of the pattern but I still need to do a distinct interruption. I decided to use this sentence from the movie Starship Troopers spoken by Michael Ironside "YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER!!!?".

Visualize and imagine several times a day your ideal-self. Step into that visualization. See through its eyes.

I remembered this while SMSing with a girl today. Always fo the OPPOSITE of what a woman tells you to do. Always TRUST YOUR GUT.

Intention

An excercise for increasing your masculine energy from Ross Jeffries works. I use it various situations and I always regain and maintain high energy.

I had this vibe with a cashier today. I liked her and I didn't freak out. She was nervous, great feeling. Although there are problems that I need to deal with:
1. I have no intention of continuing the talk
2. I think that I'm bothering people
3. I have little motivation for talking to people I don't care about
They are closely related and I need to deal with them.
Number 1 is due to years of bad programming. I tend to escape the conversation. I think of ways to end it instead of ways to extend it. After I end it millions of things come in to my head, brilliant things. They come to my head because I want to talk more, because I regret that I finished talking. I need to think about extending the conversation at real-time, know that I'm going to regret if I finish too early or I don't make an emotional impact. I've dealt with this with friends, so there will be no problem with dealing with it with strangers. I just need to make a conscious intention and never fall into the escape route.
Number 2 is a really bad belief. I can deal with it with the 3 second rule, I'll also try to make a belief-change technique on it so that it never enters my mind.
Number 3 is also a bad belief. I think I don't fully understand the importance of speaking to everybody I meet because I forget how great it is. Try to talk to everybody, challenge yourself to do it. Think that you want to fuck/kiss/touch/make laugh/laugh at this girl instead of "starting conversation".

What I like

I had problems with relating and doing follow-up stories to someones because I was struggling to remember a story of mine. Well if it didn't work it is time to change the tactic. It much better fits my personality to say what:
a) what is important for me
b) what I like
c) I look forward to
d) I find this interesting or funny
This gives me a ton of stuff to talk about because I am more a creative person then one that has memory for stories.

I spoke to a woman in a bus sitting next to me when there was a good moment. I didn't think about it just did it. I realized afterwards that I could make an emotional impact on her easily. But then I realized that I didn't want to. I will talk more and stuff to talk about will come to my head easily if I have the intention. So the next time I will make an intention of making a longer conversation and making an emotional impact on anyone.

I was staring at this girl and she looked at me and did a cross sign with her hands. I thought why is she praying to me, well it's obvious but... and then I realized there is a church behind me.

The following applies to girls that mean something to me, or that I think would mean to me, that I care about. I don't want to be embarassed by showing her that I'm interested in her. I also don't want her to be embarassed by the situation. This comes from me thinking that I am not worthy her. This is bullshit in my head. There is nothing wrong with showing your interest as long as it makes sense (Johnny from Charisma Sciences). So don't worship her unless there is something great about her. If you don't know her there is no need to be embarassed because she might not be good for you. Always approach with curiosity and I am the prize mind frame, it will work on so many levels without having to analyze stuff like embarassment etc...

Tip: double gaze. Look at someone then turn away, then look back fast as if you know him/her.