I was re-reading my blog entries from the past 3 months. I was really in a
different state then I am in now. I don't even understand some stuff I did. One
thing really struck me. I think it is the greatest piece of wisdom I wrote
about doing things and achieving goals:
IDENTIFY WITH THE PROCESS, NOT WITH THE NEEDS.
This came a day later after I read this depressing, sad but true line from PJE:
"The greatest secret of life is, in order to get something you can't need to have it."
The second piece if wisdom is: REVERSE SHYNESS.
It's my little technique which produced a tremendous change in me. I don't know really how I got it working but it changed my thinking. The basis for it is this paraphrased text from Gunwitch: "Realize that people think more about what you think of them than they think of you".
The third thing I got is something funny. I have a constant debate about who's in control of me. Is it ME or MYSELF. Conscious or subconsious. I still don't know but judging from my experience in the past months:
- conscious decisions make concrete changes (a lot is done by accepting that you will feel pain)
- unconscious acting makes best action (but it only works if I'm comfortable, and I'm comfortable only if the situation is not new)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
a-ha
I want to do Speed Trace properly now.
"FOCUS on the PROCESS, not the PROBLEM"
"Do not attempt any traces of your problem until you LEARN to DO the SPEED
TRACE. That's what this exercise will focus on."
"DO NOT TRY TO CONCEPTUALIZE ANYTHING DURING THIS PROCESS!"
I want to get rid of this tension that stops me from being loud around people. This will be my goal, I'll attempt it in 1-2 days when I learn to use this.
I can't find any food I dislike. What I've noticed in the past year is that my food preferences constantly change. As if every step that I take to free myself psychologically changes my taste.
"The best thing for you to do is to wait until the problem comes up naturally and do the trace on the spot. Few problems come up that you can't trace on the spot with a little ingenuity. If people are around, you can say, "Wait, I'm thinking." Then say the speed trace silently and go down the time marks. Or better, just walk away from the group or person, doing the trace while you do so. Whatever way makes sense for you in the given situation is the best way to proceed."
"How is it possible to ride a bicycle?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. I've just realized I've been trying to analyze EVERYTHING. I can't describe in detail how my brain works. I need to focus on what works now, how will come later. Trying to understand how certain techniques work prevents me from using them succesfuly!
==============
After a day of thinking what to test the speed trace I found some old english mustard. I felt sick after eating it. I made the speed trace and nothing
changed. I don't know if I'll find anything more, maybe I'll just start
tracing real doyles and see what happens.
==============
I realized yesterday that I am seeking approval in EVERYTHING I do in social
situations. And the big A-HA was when I realized all that I'm NOT doing for
approval is what really makes friends and gets people attracted to me.
For example I hear a person likes show X, I don't remember fully it so I go
back home and watch it and memorize stuff so I can talk about it later. First of all, this is hard work. Second, of all IT NEVER WORKS! The stuff that works
(attracts people to me) is only the stuff that comes out of me naturally, when
I'm being who I am, when I share MY OWN passions and LOVE OF LIFE.
This is what I want to do - share a little bit of passion in my communication. I decided to change a little my goal of becoming talkative. Talkative is a bad
word for my subconsious, what is it really? What I really want is to EXPRESS
MYSELF whenever I want to. If I want to state an opinion I will do it. If I
want to complement somebody I will. If I want to sing I will sing. If I want
to dance like a monkey in front of somebody I WILL FUCKEN DANCE LIKE A MONKEY
BECAUSE I WANT TO!!!
"FOCUS on the PROCESS, not the PROBLEM"
"Do not attempt any traces of your problem until you LEARN to DO the SPEED
TRACE. That's what this exercise will focus on."
"DO NOT TRY TO CONCEPTUALIZE ANYTHING DURING THIS PROCESS!"
I want to get rid of this tension that stops me from being loud around people. This will be my goal, I'll attempt it in 1-2 days when I learn to use this.
I can't find any food I dislike. What I've noticed in the past year is that my food preferences constantly change. As if every step that I take to free myself psychologically changes my taste.
"The best thing for you to do is to wait until the problem comes up naturally and do the trace on the spot. Few problems come up that you can't trace on the spot with a little ingenuity. If people are around, you can say, "Wait, I'm thinking." Then say the speed trace silently and go down the time marks. Or better, just walk away from the group or person, doing the trace while you do so. Whatever way makes sense for you in the given situation is the best way to proceed."
"How is it possible to ride a bicycle?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. I've just realized I've been trying to analyze EVERYTHING. I can't describe in detail how my brain works. I need to focus on what works now, how will come later. Trying to understand how certain techniques work prevents me from using them succesfuly!
==============
After a day of thinking what to test the speed trace I found some old english mustard. I felt sick after eating it. I made the speed trace and nothing
changed. I don't know if I'll find anything more, maybe I'll just start
tracing real doyles and see what happens.
==============
I realized yesterday that I am seeking approval in EVERYTHING I do in social
situations. And the big A-HA was when I realized all that I'm NOT doing for
approval is what really makes friends and gets people attracted to me.
For example I hear a person likes show X, I don't remember fully it so I go
back home and watch it and memorize stuff so I can talk about it later. First of all, this is hard work. Second, of all IT NEVER WORKS! The stuff that works
(attracts people to me) is only the stuff that comes out of me naturally, when
I'm being who I am, when I share MY OWN passions and LOVE OF LIFE.
This is what I want to do - share a little bit of passion in my communication. I decided to change a little my goal of becoming talkative. Talkative is a bad
word for my subconsious, what is it really? What I really want is to EXPRESS
MYSELF whenever I want to. If I want to state an opinion I will do it. If I
want to complement somebody I will. If I want to sing I will sing. If I want
to dance like a monkey in front of somebody I WILL FUCKEN DANCE LIKE A MONKEY
BECAUSE I WANT TO!!!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Why doing is important
Only from the position of "I am the master of my fate" can I make changes. I'm feeling like this today. Even if things don't go well I place blame on myself
and I can fix it and it doesn't change my emotional state. Here are my thoughts from the last few days:
I wrote a while ago that emotional "State can be changed only by action
alone". I've been experimenting with this. For example I was trying to stop
negative thinking. I caught myself doing the same thing as always, trying to
overthink it. So I decided to just change my physique. I started smiling. Then
automatically some music started playing in my head and it was IMPOSSIBLE to
think negative. I need to find more things to do to change certain emotional
states.
I have had a certain regression in my confidence with my interactions with my
girl. Actually I never had confidence. All my confidence comes from things I
did in the last year, namely approaching strangers and group interactions. I
have a certain level of competence in this area which gives me confidence but
when I'm alone with a girl I feel like I'm 8 years old again and I really have
to hide it.
The thing is confidence comes from action alone. In the last few months I
have been going out and forcing myself to break through comfort zones. If I
had a look at my progress of what I actually did according to my goals I made
like 1% of them. The funny thing is after each failure I felt better than
ever. I felt stronger because I was DOING something. I have been struggling with the DO part all these months so why did I feel great? I think just trying to make progress makes you more confident. Every time and effort spent on doing something gives you something back. And it is not the thing I really want... but something better. I now think that all the self-help gurus are so fulfilled not because they
have amazing techniques or methods but just because they are trying to improve
themselves every minute of the day. That trying gives strength. So I will DO things no matter if I get what I want or not or even if I actually do something at all.
My level of well-being is a good indicator of if I'm going in the right
direction. I haven't felt great during the past weeks. I thought that maybe
having a relationship is not my lifestyle but really it's because I haven't
made any progress in myself. I'm new to this so I still have to find WHAT I need to
improve and what to DO about it.
and I can fix it and it doesn't change my emotional state. Here are my thoughts from the last few days:
I wrote a while ago that emotional "State can be changed only by action
alone". I've been experimenting with this. For example I was trying to stop
negative thinking. I caught myself doing the same thing as always, trying to
overthink it. So I decided to just change my physique. I started smiling. Then
automatically some music started playing in my head and it was IMPOSSIBLE to
think negative. I need to find more things to do to change certain emotional
states.
I have had a certain regression in my confidence with my interactions with my
girl. Actually I never had confidence. All my confidence comes from things I
did in the last year, namely approaching strangers and group interactions. I
have a certain level of competence in this area which gives me confidence but
when I'm alone with a girl I feel like I'm 8 years old again and I really have
to hide it.
The thing is confidence comes from action alone. In the last few months I
have been going out and forcing myself to break through comfort zones. If I
had a look at my progress of what I actually did according to my goals I made
like 1% of them. The funny thing is after each failure I felt better than
ever. I felt stronger because I was DOING something. I have been struggling with the DO part all these months so why did I feel great? I think just trying to make progress makes you more confident. Every time and effort spent on doing something gives you something back. And it is not the thing I really want... but something better. I now think that all the self-help gurus are so fulfilled not because they
have amazing techniques or methods but just because they are trying to improve
themselves every minute of the day. That trying gives strength. So I will DO things no matter if I get what I want or not or even if I actually do something at all.
My level of well-being is a good indicator of if I'm going in the right
direction. I haven't felt great during the past weeks. I thought that maybe
having a relationship is not my lifestyle but really it's because I haven't
made any progress in myself. I'm new to this so I still have to find WHAT I need to
improve and what to DO about it.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Feeling <->Thinking, Feeling = Thought ?
Secrets of the Alpha Male:
"You are not put here to discover yourself… you are here to CREATE yourself."
"Anger is excitement. Love is excitement. Envy is excitement. Lust is excitement.
Greed is excitement. Take all the cardinal sins and make them your high-octane,
spitfire, explosive POWER to do what you want with your life.
The only thing that separates us Alpha Men from the Sheep of the world is our
action orientation, and that starts with our internal level of excitement. Harness it and
use it for yourself."
GET FUCKIN PISSED OFF!
Resons from the book!:
"- People who just won’t stop talking
- Women who just won’t stop talking"
Shyness leads to controling the ANGER. I need to let go of it. I'll try to find the reason for holding it back tonight.
Carry notes with you, about stuff that pissed you off. Use it for motivation.
============================================
Tao of Stevie:
This something to play around with: (I might be good at this)
"Have fun playing around with themes. Be enthusiastic. Once you have a decent
mastery of how they can work to help your conversation and patterning you will find you rarely run out of things to say. With mastery you can take almost any idea that
you create or she gives you and link it to a useful theme, which in turn can be linked
to a more intimate (Stage 3) way of speaking."
Don't use "what's up?" in the initial meeting - launch into something like you have just stopped talking.
"I’ll spend maybe half an hour doing my warm up, sometimes a little more, sometimes
a little less. Here is an example of a story I’ll tell during a warm up so as to give you a
concrete example of what I am talking about. I’ll go into a shop and ask the assistant
this:
“Hi (smile) I ‘m wondering about your opening hours, because I know some shops
have different opening hours on different days ... ""
"There was a cute HB in the line ahead of me. I used
the 3 seconds rule and said the first thing that came to me. It is better to say
something than to say nothing. I asked her if she was in the line. She was, so I
decided to tell her a brief story to show my personality to her. I told her how
sometimes I can’t tell if someone is in the line or not, that a few days ago I
was in the line for the ATM and there were loads of people ahead of me and I
stood waiting for ages until I realised they were all waiting for this one guy
who was using it and had now finished and were chatting near the machine for
10 minutes! She laughed."
============================================
PJE:
"... when you stay focused on the "mmmm" feeling, you don't really notice the obstacles that much. They're just noise, a blip on the radar screen. A minor distraction or annoyance."
" thoughts lead to feelings lead to actions"
"... when you learn to use your feelings correctly, you'll realize a bad feeling means it's time to change your thinking."
"You are not put here to discover yourself… you are here to CREATE yourself."
"Anger is excitement. Love is excitement. Envy is excitement. Lust is excitement.
Greed is excitement. Take all the cardinal sins and make them your high-octane,
spitfire, explosive POWER to do what you want with your life.
The only thing that separates us Alpha Men from the Sheep of the world is our
action orientation, and that starts with our internal level of excitement. Harness it and
use it for yourself."
GET FUCKIN PISSED OFF!
Resons from the book!:
"- People who just won’t stop talking
- Women who just won’t stop talking"
Shyness leads to controling the ANGER. I need to let go of it. I'll try to find the reason for holding it back tonight.
Carry notes with you, about stuff that pissed you off. Use it for motivation.
============================================
Tao of Stevie:
This something to play around with: (I might be good at this)
"Have fun playing around with themes. Be enthusiastic. Once you have a decent
mastery of how they can work to help your conversation and patterning you will find you rarely run out of things to say. With mastery you can take almost any idea that
you create or she gives you and link it to a useful theme, which in turn can be linked
to a more intimate (Stage 3) way of speaking."
Don't use "what's up?" in the initial meeting - launch into something like you have just stopped talking.
"I’ll spend maybe half an hour doing my warm up, sometimes a little more, sometimes
a little less. Here is an example of a story I’ll tell during a warm up so as to give you a
concrete example of what I am talking about. I’ll go into a shop and ask the assistant
this:
“Hi (smile) I ‘m wondering about your opening hours, because I know some shops
have different opening hours on different days ... ""
"There was a cute HB in the line ahead of me. I used
the 3 seconds rule and said the first thing that came to me. It is better to say
something than to say nothing. I asked her if she was in the line. She was, so I
decided to tell her a brief story to show my personality to her. I told her how
sometimes I can’t tell if someone is in the line or not, that a few days ago I
was in the line for the ATM and there were loads of people ahead of me and I
stood waiting for ages until I realised they were all waiting for this one guy
who was using it and had now finished and were chatting near the machine for
10 minutes! She laughed."
============================================
PJE:
"... when you stay focused on the "mmmm" feeling, you don't really notice the obstacles that much. They're just noise, a blip on the radar screen. A minor distraction or annoyance."
" thoughts lead to feelings lead to actions"
"... when you learn to use your feelings correctly, you'll realize a bad feeling means it's time to change your thinking."
Monday, September 04, 2006
Welcome
Juggler:
Anti-Desperate Defense not Anti-Slut
This is how you explain women!!! Juggler is a genius.
"I think that the way you describe your poetry is sexy. You better stop that cause you're turning me on."
Always do YOUR best.
If I know I did my best at the moment I won't be caught in negative thought. Fight negative thinking!
Sedona: Welcome every emotion.
I did some Sedona techniques yesterday and I made a change in me. I've been welcoming every emotion and I feel great. I haven't been more productive because of it but I feel better.
This is the thing I always wonder about which makes me quit techniques like this. If I fully accept myself will I change? I will experiment with this. For now I will welcome all feelings and just live happily and after some time (weeks) I will evaluate if I made progress in my recent goal (becoming talkative).
-----------------
I read the previous post and I realized it wasn't that bad as I wrote about it. I was writing that while in a bad mood. I'm in a good mood now so I remember something different. Interesting.
It's all about my state.
Anti-Desperate Defense not Anti-Slut
This is how you explain women!!! Juggler is a genius.
"I think that the way you describe your poetry is sexy. You better stop that cause you're turning me on."
Always do YOUR best.
If I know I did my best at the moment I won't be caught in negative thought. Fight negative thinking!
Sedona: Welcome every emotion.
I did some Sedona techniques yesterday and I made a change in me. I've been welcoming every emotion and I feel great. I haven't been more productive because of it but I feel better.
This is the thing I always wonder about which makes me quit techniques like this. If I fully accept myself will I change? I will experiment with this. For now I will welcome all feelings and just live happily and after some time (weeks) I will evaluate if I made progress in my recent goal (becoming talkative).
-----------------
I read the previous post and I realized it wasn't that bad as I wrote about it. I was writing that while in a bad mood. I'm in a good mood now so I remember something different. Interesting.
It's all about my state.
Friday, September 01, 2006
State change
Power is built on failures.
I went out with my girl for dinner. I can't really control my nervousness, I was in a bad mood. It affects my speech patterns and I'm not confident enough to carry on a conversation by myself. All stuff that I think of saying vanishes or when I remember it I say it without any emotion and I speed through it. This is all because I'm not comfortable. I need to plan things in detail. If I lose control I start giving away my power and that directly affects my mood. I need to plan little things that I will do without hesitation, just because.
Here is the revelation of today:
STATE IS CHANGED DIRECTLY BY ACTION ALONE.
I was tired of her talking so I deliberatly made the decision to shutup and just stare blank somewhere else. She was forced to continue the conversation on a different topic. That gave me power and immediately it changed my state to the point where I wanted it to be. Stuff like kissing happens by itself when I am in the mood for it. If I don't really want it I feel resistance and it doesn't feel natural. I must plan the interaction so that it leads to a point where it is natural. Also I must plan little "attacks" which I will do no matter what, just to show power and DO IT.
I went out with my girl for dinner. I can't really control my nervousness, I was in a bad mood. It affects my speech patterns and I'm not confident enough to carry on a conversation by myself. All stuff that I think of saying vanishes or when I remember it I say it without any emotion and I speed through it. This is all because I'm not comfortable. I need to plan things in detail. If I lose control I start giving away my power and that directly affects my mood. I need to plan little things that I will do without hesitation, just because.
Here is the revelation of today:
STATE IS CHANGED DIRECTLY BY ACTION ALONE.
I was tired of her talking so I deliberatly made the decision to shutup and just stare blank somewhere else. She was forced to continue the conversation on a different topic. That gave me power and immediately it changed my state to the point where I wanted it to be. Stuff like kissing happens by itself when I am in the mood for it. If I don't really want it I feel resistance and it doesn't feel natural. I must plan the interaction so that it leads to a point where it is natural. Also I must plan little "attacks" which I will do no matter what, just to show power and DO IT.
Long post
I must remind myself that I allow things to happen. It is not me that does things. So make the intention, visualize to act and then LET IT HAPPEN. All comes naturally if I do things this way.
I'm on my path to become more talkative. Here are some key things that naturally talkative people do:
- they love the sound of their own voice
- they have low standards of what they are saying
- they don't seek any reaction from what they are saying
- they speak whatever is on their mind without analyzing
- they tak because they like to, not because they want something or they want to please the other person.
Today I told a long story, about 3 minutes. The act of doing this automatically takes you into the state. It's totally fun, even if the story is not good the telling gets you into a good mood, just seeing any good reactions. So this will be my goal for every meeting. Have 1 or 2 stories to tell, make an intention to tell them without interuption, just tospit it out.
All is well when I have the frame of screening the girl and knowing that I have more options.
My number 1 mistake right now is nervousness. I need to relax. Work-out before a meeting or/and meditate and release all expectations.
Always plan and control the dates. Plan out even the boring ones so you control when it happens and it doesn't occur unexpectantly with you left wondering what went wrong. If you control every interaction you will know what went wrong.
----------------
Carlos Xuma - Dating Black Book
"[...]almost never think about when
you’ll get a date or have sex next, and that’s when you’ll be able to get it more. You only want sex so badly because you aren’t getting it."
Fuck my desires.
"Another part of the Principle of Truth is that what you really want to happen is what
actually happens."
"We almost always mistake wanting something
for wishful thinking, especially when it comes time to do what it takes to get it."
"[...] emotions are only present when you are not acting to realize your worthy goals. These feelings come up as a result of our post-facto analysis, but they are rarely grounded in reality."
Instead of dealing with negative emotions, take action and the emotions will be irrelevant.
Trust? This is a part I want to work on - "Her willingness to risk that you won’t hurt her like other guys have"
"If you consistently do the things that winners do, you will get the same results."
“Jackie, I’ve been nothing but nice to you for the last two weeks, going out with you and
you’re not very open. Before I decide to call this quits, I wanted to tell you that I see your tough act on the outside, and I know that’s a façade. I can see through your smoke screen. Deep
inside, you want to reach out and be appreciated, but you’re afraid to trust. I’d hate for you to miss out on the wonderful opportunities in life, but we might have to stop seeing each other if we can’t get past this.”
"get past this.”
Call women on their behavior with direct language, and you will be amazed at how
powerful the results are, especially if you are able to describe their emotional reaction in a way they have not been able to."
"The more you do the things that unsuccessful people won’t do, the more successful you will be."
"What almost all of our fears boil down to, in essence, is a fear of displeasing others. At
the root of our fears in life, we learned from an early age that we don’t want to get anyone angry with us. It started with our parents, and ever since then, we’ve been a slave to the approval of others."
"Pretend that the world is your party.
Act as if you are the host. Because, in reality, no one else is any more than you."
"What would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail?"
There can be no failures. what would I do if all actions had positive outcomes? I would TAKE ACTION.
"Cultivate the strength to do what you know you need to, and if you do, you’ll win."
Mixed signals:
"Kiss her or hug her, then push her away to do something else."
"Occasionally do things that are out of character, such as choosing a chick
flick to go see, or go to an offbeat restaurant. Defy her expectations."
"Whenever you are talking with a woman (or women), you are flirting."
There are no non-sexual encounters. Train flirting with EVERY WOMAN you meet.
Dates:
"
What you must do is come up with mini-adventures. Your job is to create an interesting
experience that she is interested in joining in with you. Some examples of meetings after the
first rendezvous:
- Games – take her to a miniature golf course, or a pool hall, or an arcade.
- Local Shops – find a strip of unusual stores to take her to. Underground CD
shops are great because they have an interesting culture, plus there is a lot
of stuff to browse through.
- Flea markets, bazaars, or fairs – These are also interesting as they offer
some interesting things to browse and buy.
- Cooking demonstration – there are a lot of stores now that offer cooking
classes or demos.
- Any places with a strange or dramatic background – castles, old houses,
ruins. There was a place near where I lived growing up called White Lady’s
Castle, where a ghost reportedly walked the grounds. Oddly, that’s where
many of the teenagers went to have a little action.
- The Photo Shoot – Get a digital camera (or a real one, if that’s all you have
available) and go out for a little experimental photography. This plays on her
vanity, flattering her and making her feel important and beautiful that you’d
want to have her as a subject. Trust me, you don’t even have to be very good
at taking pictures. (Hell, you don’t even have to have film in the thing.) Just
have fun.
"
"Just say, “I had a great time,” and then leave."
Leave here "A voicemail with a short, open-ended message (“What are you thinking about right
now, as you hear my voice?” Click.) Mystery."
"Jump, and the Net Will Appear"
"You should aim for touching her just a little less than she wants to touch you."
This is what I'm doing, lol.
"the only thing you can control in a relationship is your own thinking and behavior"
"Wait until the mood passes before you do something you may regret.
If it really needs to be said or done, you’ll still want to when you’re in a good mood."
"When in doubt about the possible impact of your actions on a woman, doing nothing is best.
"The one who cares the least controls the relationship."
"On the other hand, when a man doesn’t get any
release for a week or two, he’s much more vigorous and lively. He has more energy to channel."
The ejaculations might be a problem of my recent low energy. But I'm regaining it now.
"find a comfortable balance that gives you the motivation to take action"
Too much restraint causes me too act stupid.
"The opposite of courage isn’t cowardice … it’s conformity."
-------------------
If I feel down, I just don't remember how great I am. Do some activities that will remind you of that best self.
Never make decisions in a bad mood!
About doing work that you don't feel like doing:
Resistance comes from not knowing what you're going to do. Make a detailed plan of what you will do and then just let yourself do it.
I'm on my path to become more talkative. Here are some key things that naturally talkative people do:
- they love the sound of their own voice
- they have low standards of what they are saying
- they don't seek any reaction from what they are saying
- they speak whatever is on their mind without analyzing
- they tak because they like to, not because they want something or they want to please the other person.
Today I told a long story, about 3 minutes. The act of doing this automatically takes you into the state. It's totally fun, even if the story is not good the telling gets you into a good mood, just seeing any good reactions. So this will be my goal for every meeting. Have 1 or 2 stories to tell, make an intention to tell them without interuption, just tospit it out.
All is well when I have the frame of screening the girl and knowing that I have more options.
My number 1 mistake right now is nervousness. I need to relax. Work-out before a meeting or/and meditate and release all expectations.
Always plan and control the dates. Plan out even the boring ones so you control when it happens and it doesn't occur unexpectantly with you left wondering what went wrong. If you control every interaction you will know what went wrong.
----------------
Carlos Xuma - Dating Black Book
"[...]almost never think about when
you’ll get a date or have sex next, and that’s when you’ll be able to get it more. You only want sex so badly because you aren’t getting it."
Fuck my desires.
"Another part of the Principle of Truth is that what you really want to happen is what
actually happens."
"We almost always mistake wanting something
for wishful thinking, especially when it comes time to do what it takes to get it."
"[...] emotions are only present when you are not acting to realize your worthy goals. These feelings come up as a result of our post-facto analysis, but they are rarely grounded in reality."
Instead of dealing with negative emotions, take action and the emotions will be irrelevant.
Trust? This is a part I want to work on - "Her willingness to risk that you won’t hurt her like other guys have"
"If you consistently do the things that winners do, you will get the same results."
“Jackie, I’ve been nothing but nice to you for the last two weeks, going out with you and
you’re not very open. Before I decide to call this quits, I wanted to tell you that I see your tough act on the outside, and I know that’s a façade. I can see through your smoke screen. Deep
inside, you want to reach out and be appreciated, but you’re afraid to trust. I’d hate for you to miss out on the wonderful opportunities in life, but we might have to stop seeing each other if we can’t get past this.”
"get past this.”
Call women on their behavior with direct language, and you will be amazed at how
powerful the results are, especially if you are able to describe their emotional reaction in a way they have not been able to."
"The more you do the things that unsuccessful people won’t do, the more successful you will be."
"What almost all of our fears boil down to, in essence, is a fear of displeasing others. At
the root of our fears in life, we learned from an early age that we don’t want to get anyone angry with us. It started with our parents, and ever since then, we’ve been a slave to the approval of others."
"Pretend that the world is your party.
Act as if you are the host. Because, in reality, no one else is any more than you."
"What would you dare to do if you knew you could not fail?"
There can be no failures. what would I do if all actions had positive outcomes? I would TAKE ACTION.
"Cultivate the strength to do what you know you need to, and if you do, you’ll win."
Mixed signals:
"Kiss her or hug her, then push her away to do something else."
"Occasionally do things that are out of character, such as choosing a chick
flick to go see, or go to an offbeat restaurant. Defy her expectations."
"Whenever you are talking with a woman (or women), you are flirting."
There are no non-sexual encounters. Train flirting with EVERY WOMAN you meet.
Dates:
"
What you must do is come up with mini-adventures. Your job is to create an interesting
experience that she is interested in joining in with you. Some examples of meetings after the
first rendezvous:
- Games – take her to a miniature golf course, or a pool hall, or an arcade.
- Local Shops – find a strip of unusual stores to take her to. Underground CD
shops are great because they have an interesting culture, plus there is a lot
of stuff to browse through.
- Flea markets, bazaars, or fairs – These are also interesting as they offer
some interesting things to browse and buy.
- Cooking demonstration – there are a lot of stores now that offer cooking
classes or demos.
- Any places with a strange or dramatic background – castles, old houses,
ruins. There was a place near where I lived growing up called White Lady’s
Castle, where a ghost reportedly walked the grounds. Oddly, that’s where
many of the teenagers went to have a little action.
- The Photo Shoot – Get a digital camera (or a real one, if that’s all you have
available) and go out for a little experimental photography. This plays on her
vanity, flattering her and making her feel important and beautiful that you’d
want to have her as a subject. Trust me, you don’t even have to be very good
at taking pictures. (Hell, you don’t even have to have film in the thing.) Just
have fun.
"
"Just say, “I had a great time,” and then leave."
Leave here "A voicemail with a short, open-ended message (“What are you thinking about right
now, as you hear my voice?” Click.) Mystery."
"Jump, and the Net Will Appear"
"You should aim for touching her just a little less than she wants to touch you."
This is what I'm doing, lol.
"the only thing you can control in a relationship is your own thinking and behavior"
"Wait until the mood passes before you do something you may regret.
If it really needs to be said or done, you’ll still want to when you’re in a good mood."
"When in doubt about the possible impact of your actions on a woman, doing nothing is best.
"The one who cares the least controls the relationship."
"On the other hand, when a man doesn’t get any
release for a week or two, he’s much more vigorous and lively. He has more energy to channel."
The ejaculations might be a problem of my recent low energy. But I'm regaining it now.
"find a comfortable balance that gives you the motivation to take action"
Too much restraint causes me too act stupid.
"The opposite of courage isn’t cowardice … it’s conformity."
-------------------
If I feel down, I just don't remember how great I am. Do some activities that will remind you of that best self.
Never make decisions in a bad mood!
About doing work that you don't feel like doing:
Resistance comes from not knowing what you're going to do. Make a detailed plan of what you will do and then just let yourself do it.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Doyle
PJE: "every fear I had of failure or imperfection was linked back to that one emotion of despair and hopelessness. It was that feeling that I always feared, not the actual consequences of a wrong choice!"
I will track down this fear of the emotion using doyle technique (Speed Trace).
Speed Trace:
Very unresourceful states of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, powerlessness, and self-judgment make good candidates.
I want to track down the state of feeling hopeless while talking to someone.
How to do a Speed Trace
Verbal method only: get the explorer's age. For our example, we'll use an age of 42 years.
Have the explorer access and hold the state. You can anchor it kinesthetically (touch or self anchor). If the state has an eye access, have the explorer fix their eyes on it.
Age-regress from the current age.
Synesthesia method
Have the explorer create a representation in at least two senses of moving backward through time. Do this very rapidly, so they reach the age of conception in a few seconds.
Occasionally the person may need to go far past conception to get the whole doyle. Go to the Stone Age, or to the beginning of the universe if necessary. When the feeling of the doyle disappears completely, they're done. Make sure they got the whole doyle (step 4).
Check by trying to re-access the original state. If some of it remains, anchor that and do another Speed Trace. Strong states may get built by "stacking" several doyles, which you may need to Speed Trace separately.
---------------------------
Juggler:
Advanced Storytelling
It is pretty easy to tell a good story when the tale is exciting or unusual. To make it to the
next level though, Juggler encourages us to make the most mundane things sound
interesting. You know you are good when you can make doing laundry sound exciting. Try
this exercise. Every day before you go to sleep, write a short story about your day. Just one
paragraph that captures the highlights and try to make it sound interesting. Make each day
of your life into a fascinating tale and share it with others.
Even on your off days when you feel crappy, talk about these feelings in an artful way. In
short, be genuine and at the same time infectious with your wit. Talk to strangers every day for practice and you will see what material works and what doesn't. Ask people how was their day/weekend and it provides an excellent opener for you to weave some story magic!
BE FUCKIN PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING -> EMOTIONS!
Make statements not questions.
I will track down this fear of the emotion using doyle technique (Speed Trace).
Speed Trace:
Very unresourceful states of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, powerlessness, and self-judgment make good candidates.
I want to track down the state of feeling hopeless while talking to someone.
How to do a Speed Trace
Verbal method only: get the explorer's age. For our example, we'll use an age of 42 years.
Have the explorer access and hold the state. You can anchor it kinesthetically (touch or self anchor). If the state has an eye access, have the explorer fix their eyes on it.
Age-regress from the current age.
Synesthesia method
Have the explorer create a representation in at least two senses of moving backward through time. Do this very rapidly, so they reach the age of conception in a few seconds.
Occasionally the person may need to go far past conception to get the whole doyle. Go to the Stone Age, or to the beginning of the universe if necessary. When the feeling of the doyle disappears completely, they're done. Make sure they got the whole doyle (step 4).
Check by trying to re-access the original state. If some of it remains, anchor that and do another Speed Trace. Strong states may get built by "stacking" several doyles, which you may need to Speed Trace separately.
---------------------------
Juggler:
Advanced Storytelling
It is pretty easy to tell a good story when the tale is exciting or unusual. To make it to the
next level though, Juggler encourages us to make the most mundane things sound
interesting. You know you are good when you can make doing laundry sound exciting. Try
this exercise. Every day before you go to sleep, write a short story about your day. Just one
paragraph that captures the highlights and try to make it sound interesting. Make each day
of your life into a fascinating tale and share it with others.
Even on your off days when you feel crappy, talk about these feelings in an artful way. In
short, be genuine and at the same time infectious with your wit. Talk to strangers every day for practice and you will see what material works and what doesn't. Ask people how was their day/weekend and it provides an excellent opener for you to weave some story magic!
BE FUCKIN PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING -> EMOTIONS!
Make statements not questions.
Monday, August 21, 2006
How I feel
Here some important notes from meeting with my girl:
Always lead the conversation to where YOU want to GO!
Start rewarding physically on high points of conversation. Reward even more.
Dominate physically.
Don't think you need to talk, kiss etc. it is nothing. Everything flows naturally if you don't care. ALWAYS BE IN THE MOMENT.
"I like" is a great conversation starter.
Let her plan the date and then reward her for setting everything up.
Talking more is my goal. I can do anything and she'll feel mor comfortable if I just flow. Not necessarily about myself but generally just speak, monologues. I see this in other couples. When the guy is talking she feels free to do anything with him.
Don't think (ever!) about getting something from her. Always show that you have the power and you can give it to her if she is good.
If everything is set up and planned in my head it just flow and everything is natural and effortless. Never TRY to do ANYTHING.
When I touch and she stops all movement, it is because she is feeling me not because she doesn't want it. I do the same when she touches me.
I project states to her. It is always in me. If I am bored, she will be. I must break the state and dominate the situation to change my state. It is most important, how I FEEL.
Always lead the conversation to where YOU want to GO!
Start rewarding physically on high points of conversation. Reward even more.
Dominate physically.
Don't think you need to talk, kiss etc. it is nothing. Everything flows naturally if you don't care. ALWAYS BE IN THE MOMENT.
"I like" is a great conversation starter.
Let her plan the date and then reward her for setting everything up.
Talking more is my goal. I can do anything and she'll feel mor comfortable if I just flow. Not necessarily about myself but generally just speak, monologues. I see this in other couples. When the guy is talking she feels free to do anything with him.
Don't think (ever!) about getting something from her. Always show that you have the power and you can give it to her if she is good.
If everything is set up and planned in my head it just flow and everything is natural and effortless. Never TRY to do ANYTHING.
When I touch and she stops all movement, it is because she is feeling me not because she doesn't want it. I do the same when she touches me.
I project states to her. It is always in me. If I am bored, she will be. I must break the state and dominate the situation to change my state. It is most important, how I FEEL.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Anti-slut mechanism
------------------
Bodylanguage 101:
Change physiology to change emotions / frame of mind.
cold read:
"You remind me of me a couple years ago. You're a creative person, but you don't have a creative job."
----------------------------------------
I'm trying to physically escalate the relationship. She gives me a hard time on this. This is obviously an anti-slut mechanism. She is terrified that I'll think she's a slut, she's doing it well, however it might become frustrating. I must keep the image of physical relationship in my head at all times.
My method for physical escalation:
- Take it or leave attitude.
- Trust the gut.
- I need to show that I know what I am doing. Move her around and grab her confidently, even if it won't get a good response. Show not that you are desperate and need her body but only that you know that it can happen if she is good enough.
- Be a MAN! Do manly things, do action things, do it YOUR way, ALWAYS.
Bodylanguage 101:
Change physiology to change emotions / frame of mind.
cold read:
"You remind me of me a couple years ago. You're a creative person, but you don't have a creative job."
----------------------------------------
I'm trying to physically escalate the relationship. She gives me a hard time on this. This is obviously an anti-slut mechanism. She is terrified that I'll think she's a slut, she's doing it well, however it might become frustrating. I must keep the image of physical relationship in my head at all times.
My method for physical escalation:
- Take it or leave attitude.
- Trust the gut.
- I need to show that I know what I am doing. Move her around and grab her confidently, even if it won't get a good response. Show not that you are desperate and need her body but only that you know that it can happen if she is good enough.
- Be a MAN! Do manly things, do action things, do it YOUR way, ALWAYS.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Visualize to act
First date with the girl went fantastic. I had a really hard time planning the logistics and was very mad. In the end all went great because:
1. I stopped worrying because problems dissapear by themselves
2. Nothing can go wrong if you decide what you want to do.
(Realize that you are the creative force in the world and only if you do not control the situation something might go wrong. You create the universe and if you do something wrong you know how to fix it. Always lead.)
3. I planned every detail of the date by visualizing what will happen, everything was 100% as I wanted it to be.
1. I stopped worrying because problems dissapear by themselves
2. Nothing can go wrong if you decide what you want to do.
(Realize that you are the creative force in the world and only if you do not control the situation something might go wrong. You create the universe and if you do something wrong you know how to fix it. Always lead.)
3. I planned every detail of the date by visualizing what will happen, everything was 100% as I wanted it to be.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Being in the moment
10 days ago I went to a club and did nothing.
Now I'm back after a trip and did everything right. This is some time I will remember so I'm not gonna write a lot.
I got my first grind, cuddling, kissing, holding etc. Of course it was nothing once I got it, the whole process was simply a blast. The tactics between me and this girl were incredible. Once we saw each other I knew it was on. I didn't really do anything until she started attracting me. The best way to get the girl is to let her chase you. I implemented Tao of Steve with profound accuracy. It was incredible how this stuff works. The only problem I had was my own psychology.
I discovered the 2 day cycle, which means that one day I am hyper-productive and accomplish my goals and the next day I really do crap and feel needy. PJE has a solution for this and I think I discovered the fix for this on my own. As always neediness is the enemy. I think if you could eliminate neediness there would be no problems in social life whatsoever. As for now it is very important to be in the moment and realize that you are the man and you control this life. From this mind set everything works. When I got a bad day I had to conciouscly refocus on this mindset. How can I have this mindset all the time?
I discovered I am the alpha-male. I can gain rapport with people within minutes or seconds. Everybody loved me. The problem is later on because I don't talk too much. This will be my goal for the next year probably, to become talkative.
I have proved the power of intention. However it is not what I thought it was and what all the self-help gurus talk about. It is exactly how PJE describes it in "Being the body". I imagined the girl that I wanted in a position I wanted her to be. I felt what it is like when she is kissing me. I made the decision, that yes this is what I want. I did this excerice once or twice a day and I got the result.
Also, I am nearly 100% sure that all action comes from learning by seeing others. Especially near, you. So the most important thing in life to do if you want to get girls is surround yourself with guys that get them. The other thing is fix your psychology.
There is a terrible disassociation between expecting something to happen and being in control and knowing what will happen because of you.
Oh and I did my first cold approach on an attractive waitress. It was a mess but I got the guts to do it thanks to all the confidence I got.
All this was done from a learning-frame. I didn't ever have high expectancies. But I doubt this can be a method, maybe the learning-frame is just something that happens in the right time.
----------
DYD Sex. com.
"How to argue and win everytime"
Demonstrate the power of knowing how to give pleasure. Don't ever try to get sth from her.
Never focus on the needs of the seller. Focus on the needs of the buyer!
Think about what they think of you!
"A person will only do something they've already seen themselves doing their mind FIRST"
Don't try to be liked!
All this happens automatically if you are just in the moment and feel what is happening.
Now I'm back after a trip and did everything right. This is some time I will remember so I'm not gonna write a lot.
I got my first grind, cuddling, kissing, holding etc. Of course it was nothing once I got it, the whole process was simply a blast. The tactics between me and this girl were incredible. Once we saw each other I knew it was on. I didn't really do anything until she started attracting me. The best way to get the girl is to let her chase you. I implemented Tao of Steve with profound accuracy. It was incredible how this stuff works. The only problem I had was my own psychology.
I discovered the 2 day cycle, which means that one day I am hyper-productive and accomplish my goals and the next day I really do crap and feel needy. PJE has a solution for this and I think I discovered the fix for this on my own. As always neediness is the enemy. I think if you could eliminate neediness there would be no problems in social life whatsoever. As for now it is very important to be in the moment and realize that you are the man and you control this life. From this mind set everything works. When I got a bad day I had to conciouscly refocus on this mindset. How can I have this mindset all the time?
I discovered I am the alpha-male. I can gain rapport with people within minutes or seconds. Everybody loved me. The problem is later on because I don't talk too much. This will be my goal for the next year probably, to become talkative.
I have proved the power of intention. However it is not what I thought it was and what all the self-help gurus talk about. It is exactly how PJE describes it in "Being the body". I imagined the girl that I wanted in a position I wanted her to be. I felt what it is like when she is kissing me. I made the decision, that yes this is what I want. I did this excerice once or twice a day and I got the result.
Also, I am nearly 100% sure that all action comes from learning by seeing others. Especially near, you. So the most important thing in life to do if you want to get girls is surround yourself with guys that get them. The other thing is fix your psychology.
There is a terrible disassociation between expecting something to happen and being in control and knowing what will happen because of you.
Oh and I did my first cold approach on an attractive waitress. It was a mess but I got the guts to do it thanks to all the confidence I got.
All this was done from a learning-frame. I didn't ever have high expectancies. But I doubt this can be a method, maybe the learning-frame is just something that happens in the right time.
----------
DYD Sex. com.
"How to argue and win everytime"
Demonstrate the power of knowing how to give pleasure. Don't ever try to get sth from her.
Never focus on the needs of the seller. Focus on the needs of the buyer!
Think about what they think of you!
"A person will only do something they've already seen themselves doing their mind FIRST"
Don't try to be liked!
All this happens automatically if you are just in the moment and feel what is happening.
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