Power is built on failures.
I went out with my girl for dinner. I can't really control my nervousness, I was in a bad mood. It affects my speech patterns and I'm not confident enough to carry on a conversation by myself. All stuff that I think of saying vanishes or when I remember it I say it without any emotion and I speed through it. This is all because I'm not comfortable. I need to plan things in detail. If I lose control I start giving away my power and that directly affects my mood. I need to plan little things that I will do without hesitation, just because.
Here is the revelation of today:
STATE IS CHANGED DIRECTLY BY ACTION ALONE.
I was tired of her talking so I deliberatly made the decision to shutup and just stare blank somewhere else. She was forced to continue the conversation on a different topic. That gave me power and immediately it changed my state to the point where I wanted it to be. Stuff like kissing happens by itself when I am in the mood for it. If I don't really want it I feel resistance and it doesn't feel natural. I must plan the interaction so that it leads to a point where it is natural. Also I must plan little "attacks" which I will do no matter what, just to show power and DO IT.
From shy guy to don juan. Daily experiences.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage."
