From shy guy to don juan. Daily experiences.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage."

Friday, November 09, 2007

the Sweet Spot

Something mind raping was happening last time I went for a walk in the city. EVERY woman could not control looking at me and being attracted. I dont think I looked that good, I did not focus on my BL or anything. What I did was focusing on the Pull in front of me. Asking what it wants. Feeling the heart. Being a follower of it. It is an animal-like state.


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I think I got it?


There are 3 modes of focus.


- Front of yourself - "the sweet spot" - this is following your wanting
- Center - "the I am" - this is where you know your centre or core of your being, who you are
- Back - "the Reciever" - this changes your BL to recieve from other people what they can give you

1 mode of laziness - or no focus. You just consider everything unimportant.

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Shyness- why in the hell would you even consider that feeling? Just know that it fucks you up and let it pass. If needed stop for a moment and wait for it to go.

AT EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE THE POWER TO NOT CONSIDER ANY FEELING OR REASON YOUR MIND COMES UP WITH.

Just as you have the power to not follow your wanting, you can choose not to follow a mind obstacle. It's important to learn different emotions. For example nervousness in the stomach is just an expectation of something big coming. But a really bad feeling there might be a sign that something is terribly wrong.

Friday, November 02, 2007

It's just not an option

lET THE WORD FLOW. i THINK THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL TECHNIQUE FOR WORKING YOUR AWARENESS YET.wHEN YOY ARE TALKING, WAIT FOR THE WORDS TO FORM IN YOUR FEELING, IN YOUR MUSCLES MEMORY. lET THE PREDICTION FORMULATE, THEN JUST FOLLOW IT AND LET IT SAY. sAY IT ONLY WHEN IT IS READY. dONT DO ANYTHING. lET IT FLOW. bECOME A FOLLOWER OF YOUR WANTINGS.i WANT TO EXPERIENCE THIS MORE. i SEE IT HAS TO DO WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO IN CONSCIOUSNESS. i'LL EXPERIMENT MORE.

Look into the left eye of the person. Look at the I Am.

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Every waking moment of your life move towards the pleasure and release any feeling obstacles that prevent you from reaching it.

In 3 years I want to have the social life of a rock-star. In the meantime I have to prepare myself internally so that when it happens I don't pass on opportunities. I am OK with that happening at that age.

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To PUA's: how did YOU decide to approach no matter what?

Once the need to get laid overpowers the fear of the risk of rejection you have to approach.
one day youll snap and approach the next attractive girl youll see
I got to a point where I was real pissed off and thinking about this.
Things changed for me after a public relations job I had one summer at a super popular beach restaraunt. Now when I sarge a random chick, I just choose to click into this P.R. mentality.
Another thing that really clicked for me is embracing the perspective that "I'm everyone." It took all the fear out of talking to people.It comes down to just dropping your mind, and finding a good perspective that you'll be able to enjoy the experience with.
Initially it came from a sense of the absolute need in my miind to turn my life around as far as women go.
Ask yourself next time....."What's going to happen if you DON'T speak with her?".

---- ITS NOT AN OPTION ! (?)

Stop over-analyzing and take it as if its a huge game
I approach because I know that if I don't approach, than I will feel like a pvssy and regret it later on in life.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

All of it

Unbelievable. I was dreaming today of 2 girls. We were going out of some movie or something and she was walking a little behind me, I commented out loud on the movie and she giggle. We exchanged some words and then departed. The rest of the dream was me searching for her again because I regretted that I didn't pursue her. I didnt show her my interest, I didnt do what I really wanted.Later that day I was going out of uni, 2 girls stood behind me and I commented on how crowdy i was at the entrance. They giggled, then I sort of acted uninterested and we split. Fuck.
This was either a prediction or this was evidence for my theory that I've written below. If it didnt happen in the dream it didnt happen in real life.
If it is possible in the dream, it will become real.
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She wants to be seduced. Once she decides she wants you, she is waiting for you to induce the emotions in her.
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Focus on the I Am. That is also the destination of your thinking about others. EVERYONE HAS A SOUL SPEAK TO IT. Only think about that, be lazy and enjoy the I am of others.

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Work on chakras it's the only thing htere is. All thoughts arre mad of the same thing. Chakras are it. That's the only thing you should do. If you dont feel like doing it you wont do it.
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Every moment of our life we are being trapped by the mind. When we lose focus and awareness we are living a dream. Just like in a dream we are uncoscnious most of the time in our "waking" life. The key is to be aware all the time. This is why highly meditative people dont have dreams. They cant because they never lose focus of their real self and reality.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Simulation

Hmmm Marlon Brando... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdNMsTDRrRc
It's as if attractiveness can be boiled down to not caring what others think and what you say do. That's all about it. Love who you are and say.

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Some amazing dreams coming to me in the past 2 days. Started with Marlon Brando saying to me that all your experience and thought comes from the knowledge you have, nothing is as it is, it is all knowledge manifesting.

Then I was semi-lucid. The state where I am conscious enough to know that I'm conscious so I can dream or imagine within the dream. So I figured out how, basically how the mind model should look like. What should be happening inside of you.

It's called the self-releasing & fighting consciousness. Everything that comes up to you, you release as unimportant. Another name for this is "The Lazy Mind". There is just no importance to anything. But you also recognize fear based thought and track them down to the feeling. This is where you do the fighting. You decide not to bend over the fear but fight by whatever means. Usually it means feeling it even more or using Sedona for example.

Now the important thing that came in the dream. If you want to do a courage, something out of your comfort zone you must test it first in your mind. This comes from the understanding that it is not YOU that does stuff! So this is a fault proof method to check yourself if you'll do it. If not you work on it more. The key is to simulate the interaction in your head, but there must be no conscious effort in the imagining except for feeling the feelings and fighting them. This is absolutely key. The thoughts must just come to you like in a dream. This is probably best done in theta state or hypnosis or during trance. Because then the visions are dreamlike.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

In a dream

In a dream I have become conscious of one of the most important things about our relation with the
mind. You are a slave. Meditating on the I am before falling asleep is one of the greatest things
I have discovered. It allows for lucid dreaming and in those states all becomes clear on what the
mind is doing because you SEE that it is not real. I realized the mind is using you to gain power
and to convince itself for the truth of its claims. If you don't give this power to it, it will
drop. Unfortunatelly 90% of the time you will get used but with practice you can overcome this.
You must snap and see above it what has been happening.
Mental laziness - not giving power to any thought coming from the realization that no thought or
want is yours. You are just an observer.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Emotion is the interface

I have to set goals again, and write them down.
MEDITATE
TALK TO 1 STRANGER A DAY (EVEN HELLO)
THINK/READ/REREAD OLD STUFF ABOUT LONG-TERM GOALS, FEEL THEM
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RION:

"the fact that she is your counterpart, seeing her will only give you more strength and power to
be a real man."


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Voice projection:


- First is emotion

- then become muscles that articulate

- speak


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It is not you that wants the chick. Let the wanting. Allow it to happen, that's all YOU need to
do.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The burning desire

strapper:
http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=70246&fid=23#424222

"I think the key to being in the moment, when in the field, is to do exactly what your mind wants to do right at that exact moment. Look at the three second rule; you are supposed to approach because you decided you wanted to talk to them. This keeps the negative chatter from affecting what your inner desires really want to do. If you decided your not going to do something, then immediately change focus to what you do want to be doing."


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Fuck I'm feeling it again, I have to write about it.

This is probably the most important thing ever happening inside of me. I feel glory and power and burning desire in my heart. It makes me feel so wonderful. Even now after I was rejected. I just feel I can conquer the world. Remember that post by Stephane.
OK how I do it?
I think about manowar, about fighting and having a true purpose to die for, I see or think about women what they are (zenlike), I let this feeling build up inside me. I let it pump me up. It is a pump.

Also this post: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=71025&fid=23#428299.

"The reason why truly seeing a woman is good, in my opinion, is that it triggers your attractive masculine expression, i.e. "game." You are "on" or "in the zone." Often this is called being "money," as in "Dude, I met this girl. She was so beautiful, and we clicked, and dude....I was sooo money.""

Monday, October 01, 2007

Hope is not for you

Strange, it's like all the girls can't help feeling my power today. They can't control smiling, I didnt do anything about it though, wanting something and then not allowing yourself to do it drains your energy. It's better to do it.
I've had a satori experience again after reading Stephanes new post. Fucking brilliant, I felt so pumped up. This is what manowar teaches. Fuck THIS IS IT! Today I felt like this again. I felt a burning flame inside my chest. This is the most unbelievable feeling in the world. Nothing, shyness, bad mood, other people can get you. You feel you can conquer the world. I was blatant straight, asked the girl I picked up the other day out through a messenger. She rejected me. I felt horrible. My heart was in a cage. It felt bad but I knew it would happen. Still I was totally honest and acted with my heart and I feel love about myself. I embrace the pain it will only help me in achievment. Because the pain also comes from the heart. Do what it tells you. I destroy the tower made of thought in my head. It must go.I didnt approach today because still I was thinking. THERE IS NO FUCKEN USE IN THOUGHT!!! It is only there for survival. Hope is a construct of the mind because it wants to maintain. It wants to live and to reproduce. They are fucken false. It is not how you DO stuff. You DO from the heart or by JUST doing it. Not identifying with the mental pictures.

I gotta learn to let go of things. Sometimes I intuitively know things are gonna be fucked up. The times I just let things happen are times when it works.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Honesty and intuition

It's all about the state of animality. Having no human thought.

All in my notepad is money stuff. 
It works, finally. The trick is to disregard reason and follow your wanting. It is a pull.

For the first time in my life I picked up a girl in a dining place yesterday. I followed my wanting, the only thing I did consciously was not to let any negative thoughts arrive. Disregard them before they come, just because they are reason, only listen to your balls and heart.
Smile.

I'm being totally cool and OK with everything. I'm honest and I speak from the heart, it's the manliest thing I ever did. I love myself.

Every bad feeling I get I embrace. I'm habitualizing the "fighting consciousness" idea. I dwell and think and FEEL the tensions I get. ALL bad feelings are conflicts of interests. They need to be resolved, they must be resolved in the now!

Also lately I've been surrounding myself by strong male archetypes, music, film. I'm really living it now, constantly thinking of bravery, honesty, glory, manliness. I take zinc and lift heavy. I feel testosterone. I believe it causes me to believe in myself and forget about reason.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

A lot going on

ethereal :
All (unintentional) thoughts are coming from this primordial energy source underlying the thought, right prior to the thought coming into form. If you look within you can trace the thought back into that energy source from which it came from. For example, when a fearful thought comes up, it is coming from this fountain of fearful energy in your consciousness.

What you do is to just unhook yourself from attaching to that energy, through awareness. Keep your awareness on that energy, and just sit with it until it dissipates little by little. When that energy runs out, the thoughts that spawn from it will also cease automatically.

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A lot has been going lately. I got more and more mentally unstable as I was struggling with my parents. It was the same time I wanted to quiet down my brain. I used all themethods in the book, being aware all the time, loving myself. All failed and seemed to go nowhere. Finally something snapped in me. I realized all thoughts are reasons. All reasons do nothing. Ultimately I am an emotional being. All my actions/inactions are determined on feelings. If the feeling hasn't changed nothing has changed.
I looked deep down in myself. I connected with the pain and went through doyletics down the most painful feeling. Each year seemed like a couple years and I struggled and cried. I understood what this feeling is about. I didn't ask it, I just understood. I never felt loved by my parents. I always wanted to be hugged but that never came. That feeling developed when I was 1. From that point I used all my energy and mental effort to determine why they don't hug me and how I can be hugged. Finally I understood it is their problem and really there is nothing I can do about it. It is not about me. They are sick people. I feel at peace now and all techniques work now.
Meditation on "I am" is fucken money. I actually lucid dreamed using it. I am always aware!!! There is no such thing as being uncosncious.
I'm start to reconnect and feel more desire now to be king and have lots of women. The feeling of wanting one woman is fading away and I want them all again. I'm waiting for that pull of sex energy. I realized yesterday when listening to player supreme that I must DO. It's all about doing. Reasoning is complete bollocks, I'm detachng myself from it day by day. Finally I will only be left with feelings and intuition. Only my heart will remain. Remain will only DO. DO, DO , DO.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Love

Osho:
Love yourself then meditate.

I think loving myself is the key to everything. What is it? Finding pleasure in existence at this moment. Accepting all that is in me. All is from me! It's a loop.

Focusing on my emotions of pleasure/love. Accepting every reaction thought.

Would you think about this if u loved yourself?
What would you do if you just loved yourself?
Can you just love yourself?


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Stop identifying with the bullshit in yourself and reconnect to the true self. Feel good.
If you're feeling bad there is a conflict there. Engage it with love.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Science of now

The body is a filter for the brain.

Nothing is a boundary between states. That will help other things not interfere.Get into states, not think about it. Thinking is a different state.

Science of the now (from http://www.duversity.org/emilios.htm)
"Three types of activity force the wanderer to maintain a vigorous self-releasing consciousness.
The first is his continual movement. It is not just that hunting, fruit collection and shepherding require the scaling of large areas and great bodily and mental agility. It is also that the wild herds move according to season, feeding conditions and weather changes.
The second type of activity for the wanderer is his continuous scanning of both the immediate and the distant environment. This scanning requires an ability “to conceive unified multiplicity on its own terms”, as Heidegger puts it. For that to happen it becomes incumbent on the wanderer to highly develop his senses, to have them interpenetrate and to use this interpenetration as the basis for understanding. The wanderer doesn’t only see. He discerns. He doesn’t only hear. He listens. Thinking for him is only an elaboration of sensing. The more all rounded his sensing, the more well rounded his thinking. 16
Interpenetration of the senses - what neurologists call synaesthesia - allowed our wandering ancestor to communicate with the surrounding area far beyond what the senses are able to conceive today. He was able to notice almost imperceptible changes and to conceive local phenomena in relation to more complex situations. Anthropologists tell us that the Kalahari Bushmen, the Australian aborigines and some tribes in the Amazon jungle are able to sense the presence of animals, the committing of human acts and the significant weather changes over great distances.
The third activity necessary for maintaining the wanderer’s self-releasing consciousness is close inter-personal synergy. Whether the prey is small but fast and needs to be driven into an impasse, or large but dangerous and needs to be surrounded, the hunter is obliged to collaborate with his kin. The same goes - though to a lesser degree - for the fruit collector.
More importantly, inter-personal co-operation must be sensitive and self-evident. Shouting or gesticulating is prohibited, since it may either betray the presence of humans, or confound the necessary tactical moves. What is necessary, particularly for hunting and fruit collecting, is the ability to co-ordinate action automatically and silently. Not only every second counts, every move must be executed at the right moment - and with appropriate accuracy.
The result of these three activities is that our wandering ancestors developed not only highly refined and effective senses; they avoided all those conceptual crystallisations which would cut them from the present, delay their movements and distort their conceptions of the environment. They had elevated alertness to a true art. Alertness required of them to develop larger craniums than ours - and anthropologists have indeed discovered such larger craniums."
"In contrast to everyone in the whole self-help and pick-up community I won't make you do stuff like: "Stop thinking", "Realize that", "Know that", "Think as if", "Apply the frame of". All of this reinforces whatever is going bad inside your head. Thinking about thinking just makes you think more! Use your body to stop thinking. Make specific actions to stop thinking.This excercise will hopefully eliminate one of the biggest problems there is for people. What you do is look people in the eyes. Every person you meet during the day, at work, at home, shops, street look them deeply in the eyes. On a busy street don't even not look at somebody for a second. Constantly look at people. In a city you should get hundreds of eye contacts a day. This is something that already has reprogrammed my brain a couple months ago but now I'm moving this a step forward. The purpose of this task is not to look in the eyes but to stop thinking what they think of you. The reason why you are not looking people in the eyes is because you are concerned of what they think of you if they catch you looking. To do this succesfully you must find a reason to make eye contact besides making eye contact! Don't ever think about making eye contact! So how?What you do is get yourself into the state of... WONDER. This is the state that you were in as a child. Before you got any concepts in your head. Before there was a spearation between you and other people. Before you knew that eyes look at you. You get into this state because of the reason you are looking at the eyes. My reason is to simply find out what the color of their eyes is. That's it, that reason does it for me. I just look at peoples eyes and I forget about what they think about. Other reasons might be: making statistics about eye color, checking if they will look at you, noticing the shape of the eye, trying to figure out their emotion from their eyes, trying to make a reaction like smile, manipulating into doing something like facial expression etc.This takes practice and I will do this daily."

"How to get in the role?
"Stanislavski said that “Imagination creates things that can be or can happen.” An actor must develop her imagination and learn to think on any theme; this will help the actor to adapt easily to any role."

"An actor should not truthfully believe the reality of events on stage, but she should believe in the possibility of events. The “magic if” transforms the character’s aim into the actor’s aim. An actor must try to answer the question
“What would I do if I were…” "

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I let go and listened to music.I had a wet dreams involving to very young girls and sex with them.I ate Zinc.I went out, looked people in the eyes. I ws opening my chakras while starring at people. I was hypnotized by my feeling great around them. I cried.I feel awesome and inspired.