Doyle

PJE: "every fear I had of failure or imperfection was linked back to that one emotion of despair and hopelessness. It was that feeling that I always feared, not the actual consequences of a wrong choice!"

I will track down this fear of the emotion using doyle technique (Speed Trace).

Speed Trace:
Very unresourceful states of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness, powerlessness, and self-judgment make good candidates.

I want to track down the state of feeling hopeless while talking to someone.

How to do a Speed Trace
Verbal method only: get the explorer's age. For our example, we'll use an age of 42 years.
Have the explorer access and hold the state. You can anchor it kinesthetically (touch or self anchor). If the state has an eye access, have the explorer fix their eyes on it.
Age-regress from the current age.

Synesthesia method

Have the explorer create a representation in at least two senses of moving backward through time. Do this very rapidly, so they reach the age of conception in a few seconds.

Occasionally the person may need to go far past conception to get the whole doyle. Go to the Stone Age, or to the beginning of the universe if necessary. When the feeling of the doyle disappears completely, they're done. Make sure they got the whole doyle (step 4).

Check by trying to re-access the original state. If some of it remains, anchor that and do another Speed Trace. Strong states may get built by "stacking" several doyles, which you may need to Speed Trace separately.

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Juggler:
Advanced Storytelling
It is pretty easy to tell a good story when the tale is exciting or unusual. To make it to the
next level though, Juggler encourages us to make the most mundane things sound
interesting. You know you are good when you can make doing laundry sound exciting. Try
this exercise. Every day before you go to sleep, write a short story about your day. Just one
paragraph that captures the highlights and try to make it sound interesting. Make each day
of your life into a fascinating tale and share it with others.
Even on your off days when you feel crappy, talk about these feelings in an artful way. In
short, be genuine and at the same time infectious with your wit. Talk to strangers every day for practice and you will see what material works and what doesn't. Ask people how was their day/weekend and it provides an excellent opener for you to weave some story magic!

BE FUCKIN PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING -> EMOTIONS!

Make statements not questions.

How I feel

Here some important notes from meeting with my girl:

Always lead the conversation to where YOU want to GO!
Start rewarding physically on high points of conversation. Reward even more.
Dominate physically.

Don't think you need to talk, kiss etc. it is nothing. Everything flows naturally if you don't care. ALWAYS BE IN THE MOMENT.

"I like" is a great conversation starter.

Let her plan the date and then reward her for setting everything up.

Talking more is my goal. I can do anything and she'll feel mor comfortable if I just flow. Not necessarily about myself but generally just speak, monologues. I see this in other couples. When the guy is talking she feels free to do anything with him.

Don't think (ever!) about getting something from her. Always show that you have the power and you can give it to her if she is good.

If everything is set up and planned in my head it just flow and everything is natural and effortless. Never TRY to do ANYTHING.

When I touch and she stops all movement, it is because she is feeling me not because she doesn't want it. I do the same when she touches me.

I project states to her. It is always in me. If I am bored, she will be. I must break the state and dominate the situation to change my state. It is most important, how I FEEL.

Anti-slut mechanism

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Bodylanguage 101:

Change physiology to change emotions / frame of mind.

cold read:
"You remind me of me a couple years ago. You're a creative person, but you don't have a creative job."


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I'm trying to physically escalate the relationship. She gives me a hard time on this. This is obviously an anti-slut mechanism. She is terrified that I'll think she's a slut, she's doing it well, however it might become frustrating. I must keep the image of physical relationship in my head at all times.
My method for physical escalation:
- Take it or leave attitude.
- Trust the gut.
- I need to show that I know what I am doing. Move her around and grab her confidently, even if it won't get a good response. Show not that you are desperate and need her body but only that you know that it can happen if she is good enough.
- Be a MAN! Do manly things, do action things, do it YOUR way, ALWAYS.

Visualize to act

First date with the girl went fantastic. I had a really hard time planning the logistics and was very mad. In the end all went great because:
1. I stopped worrying because problems dissapear by themselves
2. Nothing can go wrong if you decide what you want to do.
(Realize that you are the creative force in the world and only if you do not control the situation something might go wrong. You create the universe and if you do something wrong you know how to fix it. Always lead.)
3. I planned every detail of the date by visualizing what will happen, everything was 100% as I wanted it to be.

Being in the moment

10 days ago I went to a club and did nothing.

Now I'm back after a trip and did everything right. This is some time I will remember so I'm not gonna write a lot.
I got my first grind, cuddling, kissing, holding etc. Of course it was nothing once I got it, the whole process was simply a blast. The tactics between me and this girl were incredible. Once we saw each other I knew it was on. I didn't really do anything until she started attracting me. The best way to get the girl is to let her chase you. I implemented Tao of Steve with profound accuracy. It was incredible how this stuff works. The only problem I had was my own psychology.
I discovered the 2 day cycle, which means that one day I am hyper-productive and accomplish my goals and the next day I really do crap and feel needy. PJE has a solution for this and I think I discovered the fix for this on my own. As always neediness is the enemy. I think if you could eliminate neediness there would be no problems in social life whatsoever. As for now it is very important to be in the moment and realize that you are the man and you control this life. From this mind set everything works. When I got a bad day I had to conciouscly refocus on this mindset. How can I have this mindset all the time?
I discovered I am the alpha-male. I can gain rapport with people within minutes or seconds. Everybody loved me. The problem is later on because I don't talk too much. This will be my goal for the next year probably, to become talkative.
I have proved the power of intention. However it is not what I thought it was and what all the self-help gurus talk about. It is exactly how PJE describes it in "Being the body". I imagined the girl that I wanted in a position I wanted her to be. I felt what it is like when she is kissing me. I made the decision, that yes this is what I want. I did this excerice once or twice a day and I got the result.
Also, I am nearly 100% sure that all action comes from learning by seeing others. Especially near, you. So the most important thing in life to do if you want to get girls is surround yourself with guys that get them. The other thing is fix your psychology.

There is a terrible disassociation between expecting something to happen and being in control and knowing what will happen because of you.

Oh and I did my first cold approach on an attractive waitress. It was a mess but I got the guts to do it thanks to all the confidence I got.

All this was done from a learning-frame. I didn't ever have high expectancies. But I doubt this can be a method, maybe the learning-frame is just something that happens in the right time.



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DYD Sex. com.

"How to argue and win everytime"

Demonstrate the power of knowing how to give pleasure. Don't ever try to get sth from her.
Never focus on the needs of the seller. Focus on the needs of the buyer!
Think about what they think of you!

"A person will only do something they've already seen themselves doing their mind FIRST"

Don't try to be liked!

All this happens automatically if you are just in the moment and feel what is happening.

Fill the cup

The Secret:

"Whatever it is you are feeling
is a perfect reflection
of what is in the processs
of becoming"

"1. Ask
2. Answer
3. Receive"

Be in perfect alignment with what you want through emotions: joy, passion, hope, faith.

ACT when the opportunity is there. That's all YOU have to do.

If you have INSPIRED THOUGHT ACT upon it.

"What you resist, persists" Carl Jung


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Tao of Jeet Kune Do:

"Can you look at a situation without naming it? Naming it, making it a word, causes fear"

"Approach Jeet Kune Do with the idea of mastering the will. Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain."

"The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or in defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment."

While training keep an open mind. When you engage in combat be extremely calm, do it as if nothing critical is happening. Nothing changes in your behaviour.

EMPTY THE CUP, SO THAT IT CAN BE FILLED AGAIN.

"The enemy is not the other, the enemy is you..."

All is in me

I went out yesterday. I felt OK but I chose not to do the approaches, there was a faggy reason for it but OK. I got it planned on Monday.
Here's some material to prove my point from the preious post:

"Instead of working on CONFIDENCE, try working on CONTROL. Find what it is in your life that you are NOT in CONTROL of, and fix it. When you see that girl, realze that if you are NOT IN CONTROL, that perfect women could be gone forever."

"When you lack flow, you CLING to this dream… “Im not ready for this yet.. My confidence is too low. I must wait and later this will be easy.”
But its just a dream. Flow doesnt come from a thing inside you. Inner game/confidence doesnt exist. Flow comes from actions alone.
Next time you feel insecure, you will remember what I told you:

-you lack nothing inside you. You are FINE.
-all you lack is a little FLOW and this is perfectly normal and OK.
-flow comes from actions alone.
"

Enough... reading has to end for this. I will do it now. That's all. All in me.

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"Getting blown-out is FUN!"
This is the attitude I want for this. It will bring more emotional experiences.

The equation

This is my solution:
This is my only option. I now see how great men achieve everything. All is in the ability to control the body. Because any sort of fear or resistance is just a biological state. The conscious is there to nevermind it. All these months I have been resisting to do this, but deeply inside I always knew that I will just have to do it myself and it won't be pleasant.
I have the final equation for doing something that is out of your comfort zone:
WILL TO ACCEPT THE DOWNSIDE + FATE THAT THE ACTION WILL BRING GOOD

Learning to Desensitize…..

"[...] Having gone through this highly negative experience, you are not in a hurry to repeat it and you may go as far as never approaching strangers. This is quite natural; all of us don’t like negative experiences. What my Grand Master has us do with his technique was to repeat such an experience until we were able to control the physiological reaction.
Some people call this ability to control your physiological reaction “Becoming Desensitized.” This is actually a misnomer, because you do not stop “feeling or sensing.” What you have actually done is learned to control the negative feelings you got from the physiological reaction. This is how the technique was executed:

[...]

You set an approach target of say 10 attempts, then head out to the field to carry out the approaches. As you make each approach, your buddy records your

actions from his perspective, and then after you are done with your approach

you record your details. Try to record what were you feeling, the thoughts that went through your head and what you saw the approach target do or reaction. He had us do this for a straight week (7days.)
I don’t endorse alcohol use, but back then in the first two days, I took a couple of shots of tequila to numb down the pain, after those two days I didn’t need the tequila.
I had GrassHopper go through the technique and got excellent results, now he doesn’t hesitate to make his approaches.I asked my Grand Master what was the logic behind his technique? He said that every time you have a new experience you form a new pattern in your brain. Depending on the nature of the experience, the impact on the body can be a mild or extreme physiological reaction. If the experience was an extremely pleasurable one, you will want to repeat it, if it was negative, you wouldn’t want to repeat it.

By learning to master your physiological reactions, you become master of your body. This in turn gives you the ability to dictate your success.
Remember: Practice, practice, practice!Practice is the foundation of our mastery and makes us fertile ground for our success.

-Sapiens
"


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I used this over the telephone the today, here are my results:
I wanted to ask how to cook something.

1 - it was a restaurant I put down the phone immediately
2 - it sounded like an old dude and I got intimidated
3 - a nice woman, I wasn't very smooth but I asked and got a laugh. Cool!

I will see how does telling rehearsed lines work, in a robot fashion. Also I

need to remember about the vacuum. It is critical on the phone.

I must do it

I decided to do 5 approaches today. I didn't do them. I didn't really feel like it, but that is an excuse. I really don't have to be in any state to do it. I just have to do it, no matter what. I have to make a decision to approach NO MATTER WHAT. Then and only then it will be a decision that will be fulfilled. I must be willing to accept any downside, upside, way and state I can be, could be or would be in.
I feel pretty down today, a LONG time ago I felt like this. The reason is because there are girls everywhere in my environment and I don't do anything. Why is my mind beating myself for it, isn't he the one that does things?
Maybe not. I thought today that I and ONLY I can approach. I must do it MYSELF. Letting HIM do it is only a way of not doing it. A method of escaping the real problem. The problem is just me. I've got to JUST DO IT.

Solution

I think I have the shyness broken down. I have a WAY of dealing with it. Today I really realized I have a different problem with girls. I feel now really comfortable around them and I can look at them and stuff but... it doesn't make any sense to do it because... I'm not really interested in them.
To explain this state better I want to say that: I am attracted to them, I see their beauty and sexiness, I even see them with me having a good time, I even feel confident about my ability to get them but... I even am horny in the last 2 days, like hell... but... I just don't approach them because I don't have a real reason for it? Why is that?
I hope to get an answer for this and deal with. I might meditate about it today. It might be because I have never really felt the pleasure of being with a woman, it is all imaginative so my brain doesn't really associate a girl with pleasure. So a solution to this might be to force myself to do an approach and see how great it is. Or...

Reverse shyness

Adam's Apple excercise

The masculinity state change. Focus on the energy below your Adam's apple. Breathe through it.


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POOK:

How to get out of the cycle of hesitating? Realize that rejection is always better than regret. Always.

"Stop trying to say the perfect thing"
This is one of my biggest fears. I want to say everything perfect so I end up saying nothing. I realized this through the context of BEING A MAN. If you act upon your manliness your words are really irrelevant, I can see that.

"Don't take yourself so seriously
This is for the shy and hesitant guys. You need to get over the fact that the world does not revolve around you. It never has and never will. No one will care if you hit on a chick. No one will care if you make a move on her. Do not rationalize away your desires."


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If you can do one thing, you can do everything.


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"Care about other people, don't care what they think about you."

This is Sean's quote, but I discovered this yesterday night when I was meditating. I call it REVERSE SHYNESS.

Story telling

THE ONLY WAY TO DO SOMETHING IS NOT TO TRY TO DO IT.

Focus ONLY on changing your values and metric.
After that only try to control the behavior. Change your behavior to change your personality.

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Style:
Sense what people need and give it to them.
Make them feel good about themselves.


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RELATING

I'm starting relating excercises today with flash cards and words to relate.

"One by one, I want you to flash one card in front of your face and RELATE to it. Time yourself. Try to relate to it with a story that involves YOU for at LEAST 30 seconds. Try to make the story as funny as possible."


Dan, Charisma Arts:
"The first step is re-indexing your entire life story. Mostly we index our stories and memories based on things and events, not emotions. So when you try to think back to a story where you felt a certain emotion you don't have an indexing system. So it's time to re-index your brain."

"Take a moment and write down every emotion you can think about. At first only write down positive emotions. Small list huh? Well get researching. How many more emotions can you come up with. Have a goal to write down at LEAST TEN."
"Now that you have done that go back and next to every emotion think about your life and the stories in your life about YOU. Write down a headline that hooks the story. Next to each of those emotions try to have at least one story that demonstrates that emotion."
"What you have now done is re-indexed your brain to recall stories every time you identify an emotion."
"As soon as she tells you something, figure out what emotion she is giving you. If this is difficult, role-play with a friend telling stories or statements. Once they are done repeat what emotion they were giving you and have them tell you whether you are close or not.

Now you are ready to relate. When she gives you an emotion you then say "I can relate to that. One time [insert headline]. [Tell story that relates to her emotion].""

"Just remember to describe your story using as much detail about how you felt at the time. Always tell the story in the I perspective. Don't sit down and pre-plan your stories. If you have to, take one story and write it down and re-write it adding as much detail about emotions that you felt, then polish it up. After doing that to one you will understand and be able to tell all your stories like that without pre-planning."

Chad Diego de la Vega:
Use the phrase "“I like that” it "is much more genuine, and more daring.

"“That’s cool”
Generic and impersonal (no one is held accountable to back it up).

“I like that”
Personal (you are backing it up)--a huge improvement; but it’s still generic.

“That was a well-told, vivid story”
More specific--a big improvement; but it’s still impersonal.

“I like how vividly you told that story...”
Both personal and specific. This is the most powerful.
"

" Tone and body language are perhaps even more important in making it personal: smile, lean in, touch her, speak with your whole body, fully commit with your whole being to what you say. But this will all naturally happen if you talk about things you genuinely care about."

"You already share many emotional experiences with anyone you'll ever approach: you've both felt excitement, wonder, boredom, rage, tiredness, humiliation, confidence, anticipation, embarrassment, jealousy, happiness, shyness, euphoria, sadness, lust, contentment, fear, exhilaration, among many more. Chances are, you'll be able to relate to the very first thing someone says that has any emotional content. Whether she says "I want to f#@% you" or "f#@% off!" or anything in between, you can relate. I think I've gotten both of those."

"The key is to relate to the emotion behind the statement, not the factual content of the statement."

Two great default questions to always have ready are: 1. "What was that like?" and 2. "How did that make you feel?"

"Whenever you speak, be always answering the above two default questions for the benefit of your listeners."

"People who understand and assume this connection are comfortable being open, and they radiate a warmth and friendliness that pulls people around them into their world."

STORYTELLING:

1. What do you want to convey?
What do you want people to know about you? What if this story is the only thing they'll hear about you.

2. A story can be any experience.

3. Completely engage in the story. Feel the emotions you want to convey.
Sense sub-modalities. See, hear, feel, smell, touch.

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If I feel I need to make a transition of any kind, it is just the feeling of fear because I will need to carry on the conversation.

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BE TALKATIVE. It is the ultimate answer to "what they'll think about what you said". If I constantly talk I can talk about whatever I want, because people will forget what I talked about 10 seconds ago, there will be new stuff they'll have to evaluate all the time.