What do you do if you know you will have to do something but you fear it?
You prepare yourself for it.
The ultimate answer to what is fear. Fear is an emotion that helps you survive. If you fear approaching women that means you are not prepared. Fear = Incompentence.
In order to minimize the fear you must prepare yourself. For example by memorizing pick-up lines and conversation topics. This is what I must do. Of course it will not go away completely because there is always fear of the unknown and the primordial fear that Mystery talks about.
But when I prepare myself and I know I'm gonna do it. I'll do it.
Today I had a great example of this. I was working in my dedicated time. I only did approaches that I already did, nothing new. I felt really terrible today, really tired. But I went into a guitar shop and played some guitar which I never did before. I just made an intention to do it and it was cool. I didn't make any conversations or statements. I couldn't break through. I felt like a pretty tank that everyone looks at and admires but there is a man inside that can't get outside. This really sucks. This girl in the bus today gave me a really nice smile, it was a perfect situation. I just didn't do anything because suddenly I felt the fear that I will fuck up. The problem is that I come from a high position because I see she is attracted to me and I'm afraid that when I open my mouth I will spoil it.
Well guess what? Of course I will spoil it! That's part of the learning. I might not spoil it if I prepare myself and train for it. Fuck.
OK so now I'm going to prepare myself for tomorrow, I'm going to memorize a conversation line for use with anybody and I will use it tomorrow. Just like a performer or artist. I must have a canned well-trained line that I can use anywhere. It will boost my confidence and I'll know that I can use this in any situation. There will be no excuses after this.
TYLER:
tap tap
give value
don't do reaction seeking
LOWER THE STANDARDS OF WHAT YOU SAY
90-10
4 tools:
1. cold reading
2. story telling
3. role playing
4. misinterpretation
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
Shine on
Juggler:
Say I WANT instead of I NEED. Basically I want to memorize the whole chapter about being alpha from Juggler.
Do not try to be funny, be creative and funny will find you.
Don't try to make people laugh, try to show people a different perspective.
I want to be motivated. So I'm cutting off masturbation. Also all "romantic" stuff like movies and music that are fillers for lonelyness. Also I'm not focusing on any particular girl, I'm improving my skills.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson
Say I WANT instead of I NEED. Basically I want to memorize the whole chapter about being alpha from Juggler.
Do not try to be funny, be creative and funny will find you.
Don't try to make people laugh, try to show people a different perspective.
I want to be motivated. So I'm cutting off masturbation. Also all "romantic" stuff like movies and music that are fillers for lonelyness. Also I'm not focusing on any particular girl, I'm improving my skills.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson
Friday, March 31, 2006
Statement!
Juggler:
Statements make the strongest openers. "I like..." for example is something he uses.
A physical break is to stand near her but look at something other than her and when you see that she perks up and looks at you, open her.
The stronger your presence the more comfortable women feel around you.
Report from my dedicated work: I'm making progress. I can see it. A couple months ago I had to repeat my first sentence to people when I approached them because they were like what? Now nothing like this happens and they all are friendly if I approach in a confident manner. Also there is a lot less to think about. Now I just feel fear and either do it or not. Not a lot of thinking, good. There was just one old bag that wasn't friendly. I said excuse me to her and didn't wait for her to commit to the engagement. Also I approached her from the side. Lesson learned. I made two questions work with a dude. And most of all I made a statement. This was the hardest thing ever. It might seem easy for someone reading it but try making a statement to a total stranger. Questions are easy because that's what strangers are supposed to do ask questions or nothing at all. Making a statement is starting a conversation from a position of value. You have to have the guts and confidence to do it. I think I tried for an hour or more until I found a spot near a kiosk where I said to myself I'm not leaving here until I make a statement. I was watching the
DVD's on showcase praying to make a statement about me liking one of the DVD's and a girl stepped next to me. She was 1 meter away from me and it felt awkward to comment on anything. So I sat down and a guy walked in looking at the showcase. I wasn't positioned well and it felt awkward again. So I calibrated my position so that it was obvious that I had to comment on something when there is someone watching the showcase. A guy stepped literaly in front of my face and I did it. After that I just ran and felt like I was in heaven. Making statements is definitely THE thing to start conversations. You have nothing to lose but it takes some thought and guts. I will train them constantly during the next week.
Having the perma-smile is just a miracle. This is one of those things that you have to experience yourself to believe it works. For the last 6-7 months I was searching for ways to have longer eye contact with a girl. I found a solution:
Have the perma-smile.
Look around and be concentrated on anything at your surroundings, this must be genuine and you can't see the girl.
When you feel she is walking pass you and staring at you look at her. She will smile/blush/look down. Keep looking at her and she will return the look.
Also I created a mind-hack today:
First remember your dreams involving girls. Make a conscious decision to remember your dreams and remember all the great feelings you have during interactions with your dream girls.
For example I had a dream last night kissing a girl. As far as I'm concerned it is as real as everything, it felt like that and that is all that counts. Now when you see a girl and you are terrified to look at her remind yourself of the dreamgirl and say "I kissed you today" or "I fucked you today" while now focusing on the realgirl, the blockage is released and you are free to look.
Statements make the strongest openers. "I like..." for example is something he uses.
A physical break is to stand near her but look at something other than her and when you see that she perks up and looks at you, open her.
The stronger your presence the more comfortable women feel around you.
Report from my dedicated work: I'm making progress. I can see it. A couple months ago I had to repeat my first sentence to people when I approached them because they were like what? Now nothing like this happens and they all are friendly if I approach in a confident manner. Also there is a lot less to think about. Now I just feel fear and either do it or not. Not a lot of thinking, good. There was just one old bag that wasn't friendly. I said excuse me to her and didn't wait for her to commit to the engagement. Also I approached her from the side. Lesson learned. I made two questions work with a dude. And most of all I made a statement. This was the hardest thing ever. It might seem easy for someone reading it but try making a statement to a total stranger. Questions are easy because that's what strangers are supposed to do ask questions or nothing at all. Making a statement is starting a conversation from a position of value. You have to have the guts and confidence to do it. I think I tried for an hour or more until I found a spot near a kiosk where I said to myself I'm not leaving here until I make a statement. I was watching the
DVD's on showcase praying to make a statement about me liking one of the DVD's and a girl stepped next to me. She was 1 meter away from me and it felt awkward to comment on anything. So I sat down and a guy walked in looking at the showcase. I wasn't positioned well and it felt awkward again. So I calibrated my position so that it was obvious that I had to comment on something when there is someone watching the showcase. A guy stepped literaly in front of my face and I did it. After that I just ran and felt like I was in heaven. Making statements is definitely THE thing to start conversations. You have nothing to lose but it takes some thought and guts. I will train them constantly during the next week.
Having the perma-smile is just a miracle. This is one of those things that you have to experience yourself to believe it works. For the last 6-7 months I was searching for ways to have longer eye contact with a girl. I found a solution:
Have the perma-smile.
Look around and be concentrated on anything at your surroundings, this must be genuine and you can't see the girl.
When you feel she is walking pass you and staring at you look at her. She will smile/blush/look down. Keep looking at her and she will return the look.
Also I created a mind-hack today:
First remember your dreams involving girls. Make a conscious decision to remember your dreams and remember all the great feelings you have during interactions with your dream girls.
For example I had a dream last night kissing a girl. As far as I'm concerned it is as real as everything, it felt like that and that is all that counts. Now when you see a girl and you are terrified to look at her remind yourself of the dreamgirl and say "I kissed you today" or "I fucked you today" while now focusing on the realgirl, the blockage is released and you are free to look.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Perma-smile
There is no such thing as shyness. There is only lack of social skills.
This is a big revelation and everyday I'm admitting to myself how much stuff I don't know. I'm breaking everything down and there is a lot of work to do. But I feel great about. Just as when I started learning the guitar.
I dedicated my time today to learning social skills. I approached one lady, not old, but not young also, with a neutral question. I learned my lesson from yesterday and I approached with a smile. She gave me a nice descriptive response and I could continue the conversation but I backed out because I it was too loud and I was in a bad position. Those are excuses and I will need to learn how to evercome such obstacles.
I developed one EXTREMELY important thing today. The PERMA-SMILE. I decided I have to walk constantly with A SMILE. For the first minute I felt awkward but then I was getting an unusual eye contact response and the smile stayed for the entire day. Girls even look to see why are you smiling, I'm sure it is attractive as hell. Also it is impossible to be shy with the perma-smile. It's just a completely different person. It didn't help me approach though, I've got some issues to overcome. There were so many girls I chickened out on today I don't even have time to write it all down. One girl looked at me, she noticed I'm smiling, looked at me back and I saw and felt that she is just in love with me. I ignored her and were doing my usual pattern that I am not interested. For the next couple minutes she sat down on a empty bench (to invite me), she walked pass me a couple times (to grab my attention). I knew she was shy, but I was the shyer one. It was such a mental obstacle, fascinating. And the best part is that I am totally laid-back / Zen style / smiling the whole time but inside there is a battle going on. I have to develop the 3-second
rule if I want to speak to women I'm attracted to. I read in "the Game" about this pick-up line which is just perfect and involves touching a woman at the first contact. Great, easy, lot's of situations to do it, no pressure on continuing, puts you in a higher status level. Just everything good. I still had an enormous fear to use it. The problem is I just don't know what will happen. I mean my brain/body doesn't know because it never experienced it. I have to do it with the 3-second rule and just let my eyes see it for themselves.
I spoke with the same friend today for the same ammount of time. I learned my lesson again from yesterday and the conversation was sparking. I realized he was getting bored because he is boring and was sleepy. He's not really a good listener. That affects my speech. But of course I have to learn to not notice this and ALWAYS speak as if my listener is fascinated by me.
As for my ongoing quest to answer the question: what to say?. I see today that the best conversations are at times when you don't give a flying fuck what you say. You are just in the moment enjoying yourself. I don't know how this is achieved. What is the process, what are the components, I might guess: not thinking about what to say just saying it, having high energy, having good physical place to speak. It is very complicated and I'll try to just make an intention to have great conversations and leave it to the universe. We'll see how it works.
This is a big revelation and everyday I'm admitting to myself how much stuff I don't know. I'm breaking everything down and there is a lot of work to do. But I feel great about. Just as when I started learning the guitar.
I dedicated my time today to learning social skills. I approached one lady, not old, but not young also, with a neutral question. I learned my lesson from yesterday and I approached with a smile. She gave me a nice descriptive response and I could continue the conversation but I backed out because I it was too loud and I was in a bad position. Those are excuses and I will need to learn how to evercome such obstacles.
I developed one EXTREMELY important thing today. The PERMA-SMILE. I decided I have to walk constantly with A SMILE. For the first minute I felt awkward but then I was getting an unusual eye contact response and the smile stayed for the entire day. Girls even look to see why are you smiling, I'm sure it is attractive as hell. Also it is impossible to be shy with the perma-smile. It's just a completely different person. It didn't help me approach though, I've got some issues to overcome. There were so many girls I chickened out on today I don't even have time to write it all down. One girl looked at me, she noticed I'm smiling, looked at me back and I saw and felt that she is just in love with me. I ignored her and were doing my usual pattern that I am not interested. For the next couple minutes she sat down on a empty bench (to invite me), she walked pass me a couple times (to grab my attention). I knew she was shy, but I was the shyer one. It was such a mental obstacle, fascinating. And the best part is that I am totally laid-back / Zen style / smiling the whole time but inside there is a battle going on. I have to develop the 3-second
rule if I want to speak to women I'm attracted to. I read in "the Game" about this pick-up line which is just perfect and involves touching a woman at the first contact. Great, easy, lot's of situations to do it, no pressure on continuing, puts you in a higher status level. Just everything good. I still had an enormous fear to use it. The problem is I just don't know what will happen. I mean my brain/body doesn't know because it never experienced it. I have to do it with the 3-second rule and just let my eyes see it for themselves.
I spoke with the same friend today for the same ammount of time. I learned my lesson again from yesterday and the conversation was sparking. I realized he was getting bored because he is boring and was sleepy. He's not really a good listener. That affects my speech. But of course I have to learn to not notice this and ALWAYS speak as if my listener is fascinated by me.
As for my ongoing quest to answer the question: what to say?. I see today that the best conversations are at times when you don't give a flying fuck what you say. You are just in the moment enjoying yourself. I don't know how this is achieved. What is the process, what are the components, I might guess: not thinking about what to say just saying it, having high energy, having good physical place to speak. It is very complicated and I'll try to just make an intention to have great conversations and leave it to the universe. We'll see how it works.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Dedication
First of all the facts:
I spent 4 hours dedicated working in the field. 1 hour I spent reading Neil Strauss's "The Game" in a book store. The rest was spent mainly by walking from place to place and psyching up, waiting for opportunities. I opened 3 ladies. All of them old or fat. I didn't have the guts to approach any girl. The best motivation gave me thinking of the world as a stage and me as the performer. After thinking like that I opened the first lady I saw at a bus stop. Still can't do it with girls I'm attracted to. Also I forgot about my 4 rules. Especially the personality rule. I was trying to be perfect most of the time. Very, very, very bad. I am a performer, a comedy performer, all I am doing is light-hearted. I realized that I'm not really smooth with a total stranger. I need to grow some skills. Yes, this was my biggest revelation. The fear is there because I have no skill. A couple months ago I had no skill at flirting with cashiers, today I feel it is easy if I have a line to say. I just trained, 20 or more approaches and I'm not afraid anymore. This is what I am going to do:
I learned playing guitar in 2 years. I'm really confident at playing and can play almost everything as long as it is not fast and doesn't involve complicated chords. I did this by self-motivation and daily practice. Every single bit and piece, note by note, I transformed myself into a guitar player. I will do the same to become a ladies man. I will dedicate time in my day just for approaching strangers and performing in front of them. I'm at the beginning of the road so I need to break everything down to the tiniest pieces. I will keep a log of my tasks and report the progress here. So I'm changing completely my style. Everyday life will not be training. I will just keep my eyes open for opportunities. But in the dedicated training time I will DO things.
One thing that is helping me a lot. Detachment. I think Zen meditation is helping me a lot. I had a talk with an old friend today. The conversation was forced in a bus, so there were a couple of lols. But I was so cool and laid-back that we both found it ammusing that we are having these moments. In general we just needed to warm-up. Initially I came to him with a very high energy and he got high energy also but then we leveled down unfortunately and we slowly built it to high energy again. Intention works with conversation. The universe around will give you stuff to talk about.
Also I realized that when I explain something with 2 or more sentences I seem dull and boring. Three components to remember about when speaking:
1. talk 2 times SLOWER
2. don't spread my mouth, it sounds childish
3. change tonality and be smooth like an analog wave
I spent 4 hours dedicated working in the field. 1 hour I spent reading Neil Strauss's "The Game" in a book store. The rest was spent mainly by walking from place to place and psyching up, waiting for opportunities. I opened 3 ladies. All of them old or fat. I didn't have the guts to approach any girl. The best motivation gave me thinking of the world as a stage and me as the performer. After thinking like that I opened the first lady I saw at a bus stop. Still can't do it with girls I'm attracted to. Also I forgot about my 4 rules. Especially the personality rule. I was trying to be perfect most of the time. Very, very, very bad. I am a performer, a comedy performer, all I am doing is light-hearted. I realized that I'm not really smooth with a total stranger. I need to grow some skills. Yes, this was my biggest revelation. The fear is there because I have no skill. A couple months ago I had no skill at flirting with cashiers, today I feel it is easy if I have a line to say. I just trained, 20 or more approaches and I'm not afraid anymore. This is what I am going to do:
I learned playing guitar in 2 years. I'm really confident at playing and can play almost everything as long as it is not fast and doesn't involve complicated chords. I did this by self-motivation and daily practice. Every single bit and piece, note by note, I transformed myself into a guitar player. I will do the same to become a ladies man. I will dedicate time in my day just for approaching strangers and performing in front of them. I'm at the beginning of the road so I need to break everything down to the tiniest pieces. I will keep a log of my tasks and report the progress here. So I'm changing completely my style. Everyday life will not be training. I will just keep my eyes open for opportunities. But in the dedicated training time I will DO things.
One thing that is helping me a lot. Detachment. I think Zen meditation is helping me a lot. I had a talk with an old friend today. The conversation was forced in a bus, so there were a couple of lols. But I was so cool and laid-back that we both found it ammusing that we are having these moments. In general we just needed to warm-up. Initially I came to him with a very high energy and he got high energy also but then we leveled down unfortunately and we slowly built it to high energy again. Intention works with conversation. The universe around will give you stuff to talk about.
Also I realized that when I explain something with 2 or more sentences I seem dull and boring. Three components to remember about when speaking:
1. talk 2 times SLOWER
2. don't spread my mouth, it sounds childish
3. change tonality and be smooth like an analog wave
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Create your day
#1 rule of getting women - everyone is your enemy.
OK, maybe this is not the nuumber one rule but it is important as hell. Nobody, your family, friends strangers will help you in pick-up, they will only prevent you from success. After all it's a gene survival game. The most critical moments with girls in my life were times when my friends interrupted what I wanted to achieve. I must be confident to make them shut the fuck up and continue what I want to achieve. This does not mean that lets say your parents don't want you to succeed. They want to, but the fact is they have no clue how to help. The only time they are helping is when they don't know it.
I approached a group of girl friends today. It was the first group of people I talked to that day. I wasn't smooth, I was really nervous. It reminded me how much training I need. But also it isn't anything bad. Juggler wrote he has bad interactions until he warms up, even now when he is 36. The good part of all this was that I really felt detached from myself. I was just interpreting stuff that was happening to my body. It must be the Zen meditating.
I was thinking about Zen today and I realized that enlightenment must be connected to the quantum field theory. Definitely something to meditate about. It makes sense now why the crow is black and is not black.
I walked in a group of people on the bus stop today. I intended to talk to somebody there. There was a lot of people and I knew that I will speak to someone. At first I noticed a nicely dressed girl. I wanted to approach, I had a sexual thought and looked at who was standing near her. It was another girl. That was when I decided not to approach (fear). I asked something a woman standing later. The interaction went as I envisioned it in my mind. For good and for bad. For good because it was smooth, for bad because I didn't intend to make more conversation.
Tomorrow I'm dedicating 3-4 hours to approaching people. Until then...
OK, maybe this is not the nuumber one rule but it is important as hell. Nobody, your family, friends strangers will help you in pick-up, they will only prevent you from success. After all it's a gene survival game. The most critical moments with girls in my life were times when my friends interrupted what I wanted to achieve. I must be confident to make them shut the fuck up and continue what I want to achieve. This does not mean that lets say your parents don't want you to succeed. They want to, but the fact is they have no clue how to help. The only time they are helping is when they don't know it.
I approached a group of girl friends today. It was the first group of people I talked to that day. I wasn't smooth, I was really nervous. It reminded me how much training I need. But also it isn't anything bad. Juggler wrote he has bad interactions until he warms up, even now when he is 36. The good part of all this was that I really felt detached from myself. I was just interpreting stuff that was happening to my body. It must be the Zen meditating.
I was thinking about Zen today and I realized that enlightenment must be connected to the quantum field theory. Definitely something to meditate about. It makes sense now why the crow is black and is not black.
I walked in a group of people on the bus stop today. I intended to talk to somebody there. There was a lot of people and I knew that I will speak to someone. At first I noticed a nicely dressed girl. I wanted to approach, I had a sexual thought and looked at who was standing near her. It was another girl. That was when I decided not to approach (fear). I asked something a woman standing later. The interaction went as I envisioned it in my mind. For good and for bad. For good because it was smooth, for bad because I didn't intend to make more conversation.
Tomorrow I'm dedicating 3-4 hours to approaching people. Until then...
Sunday, March 26, 2006
MySpace 1
I ended the first stage of my MySpace project:
Goal: see how girls respond from my country
General attitude - write whatever comes into my mind. Usually it is playful, honest and is just me. I wrote whatever amused me. It's a great description of this stage - I generally wrote mostly what gave me a loud laugh. I had a good time with this.
Now I'm up to stage 2:
Goal: see how willing girls are to give their phone number
Open with something honest and playful, if not use something canned or what worked before.
I did a classic sitting Zen meditation today. It is Dark Zen for the record. I can really easilly tap into this Universal Mind or whatever is happening here, probably because of my experience with autohypnosis. I'm definitely going to practice this. 20 minutes in the morning and evening. Also there is a Zen meditation (I can't recall the name write now, it is in Pali language) that lets you get out of the loops you get in thinking. I'm going to use it whenever I feel I am overthinking. Basically it tells you to just observe what is happening in your consciousness.
I'm refactoring my life btw. I'm starting to eat only when I'm hungry. I'm going to sleep only when I feel I'm going to sleep within 5-10 minutes. I get up at 9:00AM everyday.
Goal: see how girls respond from my country
General attitude - write whatever comes into my mind. Usually it is playful, honest and is just me. I wrote whatever amused me. It's a great description of this stage - I generally wrote mostly what gave me a loud laugh. I had a good time with this.
Now I'm up to stage 2:
Goal: see how willing girls are to give their phone number
Open with something honest and playful, if not use something canned or what worked before.
I did a classic sitting Zen meditation today. It is Dark Zen for the record. I can really easilly tap into this Universal Mind or whatever is happening here, probably because of my experience with autohypnosis. I'm definitely going to practice this. 20 minutes in the morning and evening. Also there is a Zen meditation (I can't recall the name write now, it is in Pali language) that lets you get out of the loops you get in thinking. I'm going to use it whenever I feel I am overthinking. Basically it tells you to just observe what is happening in your consciousness.
I'm refactoring my life btw. I'm starting to eat only when I'm hungry. I'm going to sleep only when I feel I'm going to sleep within 5-10 minutes. I get up at 9:00AM everyday.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Improv
I'm preparing myself with canned openers and follow-ups. Next Wednsay I will dedicate full 4 hours just for approaching people. Nothing sexual right now, I just want to perform in front of some strangers. So I'll be gathering tips here:
Juggler: Wait for judgment. When she judges you she is making a commitment to the interaction -> Hey [pause] My name is ... [pause]
I've done some story telling training by myself today. I really feel confident at this. I forgot how much I am a performing artist, it's so much excitement for me. If I can tap in the performer mind I can be unstoppable. I was doing this in front of the mirror and I noticed I don't focus my eyes, it's just a habit. I need to lock my eyes at the person I'm speeking to. It is also a good way to focus the consciousness and let the unconsiousness speak. Another thing: body language. I have big hands and it's better if I don't move them, unless I'm doing something funny.
Improv techniques to warm-up:
Free Association (think of a word, then of another and so on)
What Are You Doing? (think of an activity and name it totally unrelated, think of the name and name it again)
One Word at a Time (split personalities and let each one say a word at a time, form sentences from this)
Dubbing (watch people and dub their voices)
Juggler: Wait for judgment. When she judges you she is making a commitment to the interaction -> Hey [pause] My name is ... [pause]
I've done some story telling training by myself today. I really feel confident at this. I forgot how much I am a performing artist, it's so much excitement for me. If I can tap in the performer mind I can be unstoppable. I was doing this in front of the mirror and I noticed I don't focus my eyes, it's just a habit. I need to lock my eyes at the person I'm speeking to. It is also a good way to focus the consciousness and let the unconsiousness speak. Another thing: body language. I have big hands and it's better if I don't move them, unless I'm doing something funny.
Improv techniques to warm-up:
Free Association (think of a word, then of another and so on)
What Are You Doing? (think of an activity and name it totally unrelated, think of the name and name it again)
One Word at a Time (split personalities and let each one say a word at a time, form sentences from this)
Dubbing (watch people and dub their voices)
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Switch the personality
I was astonished at how many attractive women there were today. It must be the weather. If there is sun they naturaly come out of their nests seeking for mates. I had to work for several hours to attain a confident manner. I wasn't feeling like that but I worked for it at the end of the day. Switching the personality to the opposite, which is Migel works very well. He switches by triggers. Certain places are triggers for this. Maybe I can imagine this anywhere and just be it.
I was trying to ask anyone anything, because I commited to approach one stranger a day. One time I felt fear of how I will project my voice and that it would be weak and that other people would hear me and I would get embarassed. So I didn't do it. Later on I just decided at a bus stop that this is where I'm gonna ask somebody for the time and I just asked a girl. It was natural and laid-back. My voice was the same as my attitude. If I'm nervous my voice will be nervous but if I'm cool my voice will be cool. I need to remember this. If I don't feel strong work to feel strong, otherwise there is nothing to fear of, especially if I don't think much about the talking. The voice is a projection of inner feelings. There is no good way for me to consciously maintain a good voice projection. As I discovered yesterday it is even impossible. So now I know how to have a confident voice. Just be confident.
I was thinking a lot about yesterdays illumination. It's brilliant to know how the mind works but it is not an instant solution to all problems. I've done a lot of thinking today and I came to this conclusion:
There is I and Him. "I" is the consciousness, but the I can have multiple presonalities. "Him" is the body and the brain itslef (the neuron-nets). "Him" needs "I" only to make an association and distinction between me and other humans. It needs that to draw higher level conclusions and assign priorities to decisions. Decisions of actions are based on what "I" assigns to the thought based on memories of the "I". If "I" is shy it makes decisions based on that. But if I switch personalities it will draw conclusions based on that. Basically if I want to do whatever I want, to live my life like a lucid dream, I need to reprogram the memory of "I". I need to not only think of what I want to be but know that I am and don't let any other thought draw conclusions. Another way is to shut the I and just react. Both ways will work but the first one is better long-term because after all I'm in the process of developing myself.
I was trying to ask anyone anything, because I commited to approach one stranger a day. One time I felt fear of how I will project my voice and that it would be weak and that other people would hear me and I would get embarassed. So I didn't do it. Later on I just decided at a bus stop that this is where I'm gonna ask somebody for the time and I just asked a girl. It was natural and laid-back. My voice was the same as my attitude. If I'm nervous my voice will be nervous but if I'm cool my voice will be cool. I need to remember this. If I don't feel strong work to feel strong, otherwise there is nothing to fear of, especially if I don't think much about the talking. The voice is a projection of inner feelings. There is no good way for me to consciously maintain a good voice projection. As I discovered yesterday it is even impossible. So now I know how to have a confident voice. Just be confident.
I was thinking a lot about yesterdays illumination. It's brilliant to know how the mind works but it is not an instant solution to all problems. I've done a lot of thinking today and I came to this conclusion:
There is I and Him. "I" is the consciousness, but the I can have multiple presonalities. "Him" is the body and the brain itslef (the neuron-nets). "Him" needs "I" only to make an association and distinction between me and other humans. It needs that to draw higher level conclusions and assign priorities to decisions. Decisions of actions are based on what "I" assigns to the thought based on memories of the "I". If "I" is shy it makes decisions based on that. But if I switch personalities it will draw conclusions based on that. Basically if I want to do whatever I want, to live my life like a lucid dream, I need to reprogram the memory of "I". I need to not only think of what I want to be but know that I am and don't let any other thought draw conclusions. Another way is to shut the I and just react. Both ways will work but the first one is better long-term because after all I'm in the process of developing myself.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Me & Myself
Wow what a day. I was relatively short out of home but I intuitively followed a different path while returning home and I came across a lot of attractive women. I had lots of opportunities and I know I was visually attractive because I got response from a group of school girls (when they get older they can hide it better). I had lots of opportunities but I didn't really approach any. Waiting for the bus with me was a girl of the type that I am especially attracted to, I felt so warm and fuzzy when I looked at her. She had a big back pack. I had no real intention of speaking to her, somewhere in the back of mind there were two voices: what will she think if I just come up to her and start talking she'll think that I'm blah blah blah, the second one was I don't have anything real to say. I got really pumped and I felt my body is helping me in this, I got a lot of good chemicals. I entered the bus with her and a brilliant opener came up to my mind: "nice backpack, are you coming home from school?". There wasn't really much space to make an interaction there so nothing happened. Later I was in a tram and right next to me entered a really attractive girl, well-dressed, beatiful green eyes. Although there was lots of space she stood exactly facing me. I freaked out and lost control. This happened a lot of times earlier so I knew that's the end. Even if I started a conversation it would be weak. All of this got me thinking and I defined four rules to follow for my success in making approaches a habit:
1. INTENTION
2. DEDICATION
3. PERSONALITY
4. 3 SECOND RULE
Let's explain:
1) I see how the power of intention works. I consiously plan my day from sometime. I intended meeting girls today and they were there. It doesn't matter how it works.
2) This is a pattern-break for me. For the last six months I've been trying to approach girls when doing something else like coming home or going to the shop. So the approaching is a low priority process in the brain and therefore I don't commit to it. Especially when I'm returning home I keep thinking of the comfort I'm about to experience. If I have a choice of jumping out of the airplane (approach) and just following whatever I am doing my body will choose the second. But if I dedicate myself only to pickup?
So, not to waste time I am going to not really try to approach girls when not dedicated to it. I'll jut be open to any circumstances I get. Also I've decided to talk to one stranger everyday I'm out, preferably a girl for the next 30-days (stevepavlina.com idea).
I will dedicate myself to approaching when there is a proper time and day. I will know when it is time. I will select a few hours and a place and completely dedicate it to what I want to achieve.
3) I've thought about this as a correct mind-frame (fun, zen, seducer). But a frame is really a limited idea. The concept of multiple personalities is better. Migel must rise.
4) Basically an escape plan when all of the above fails. Or in better words apply the 3-second rule so that no thoughts interrupt the mental processing that happened on the 3 previous steps.
Also a tip: when approaching you must come in strong. If the position is a position of your weakness (like the tram standing situation) prevent it from happening. There will be no excuses and it will be easier if there is no bad feelings about a certain way of approaching.
One thing I want to mention, I won't write details about it, maybe some other time. I was illimunated today. I was reading Jungs introduction to Zen and then I came across this article on the web:
http://dirtsimple.org/2005/08/multiple-self.html
I finally understand how I work. What is I and what I is NOT. I feel so happy and in control.
1. INTENTION
2. DEDICATION
3. PERSONALITY
4. 3 SECOND RULE
Let's explain:
1) I see how the power of intention works. I consiously plan my day from sometime. I intended meeting girls today and they were there. It doesn't matter how it works.
2) This is a pattern-break for me. For the last six months I've been trying to approach girls when doing something else like coming home or going to the shop. So the approaching is a low priority process in the brain and therefore I don't commit to it. Especially when I'm returning home I keep thinking of the comfort I'm about to experience. If I have a choice of jumping out of the airplane (approach) and just following whatever I am doing my body will choose the second. But if I dedicate myself only to pickup?
So, not to waste time I am going to not really try to approach girls when not dedicated to it. I'll jut be open to any circumstances I get. Also I've decided to talk to one stranger everyday I'm out, preferably a girl for the next 30-days (stevepavlina.com idea).
I will dedicate myself to approaching when there is a proper time and day. I will know when it is time. I will select a few hours and a place and completely dedicate it to what I want to achieve.
3) I've thought about this as a correct mind-frame (fun, zen, seducer). But a frame is really a limited idea. The concept of multiple personalities is better. Migel must rise.
4) Basically an escape plan when all of the above fails. Or in better words apply the 3-second rule so that no thoughts interrupt the mental processing that happened on the 3 previous steps.
Also a tip: when approaching you must come in strong. If the position is a position of your weakness (like the tram standing situation) prevent it from happening. There will be no excuses and it will be easier if there is no bad feelings about a certain way of approaching.
One thing I want to mention, I won't write details about it, maybe some other time. I was illimunated today. I was reading Jungs introduction to Zen and then I came across this article on the web:
http://dirtsimple.org/2005/08/multiple-self.html
I finally understand how I work. What is I and what I is NOT. I feel so happy and in control.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Ego
Today was the first day of spring. All women have special attention to this day. I could see all the women dress up really nicely, their hair washed and clean. They believe in love...
I did not approach any women today although I have a very nice attitude and I'm having a lot of fun.
I'm working on dissasociating from my ego. I know this is work for a life-time but it is a really good solution to my problems. The ego wants to be fed and I don't really want to be its slave.
I did not approach any women today although I have a very nice attitude and I'm having a lot of fun.
I'm working on dissasociating from my ego. I know this is work for a life-time but it is a really good solution to my problems. The ego wants to be fed and I don't really want to be its slave.
Monday, March 20, 2006
myspace
I'm trying out a few techniques on MySpace. It is a good simulation for noticing my behaviour and emotions that are in me when I'm sexually interested. My first observation is that I'm afraid that the person will be mean. This is easily swept away by rationalization. Each time I open a message I feel little fear. So it is always there but also always I can get rid of it. And of course, so far nobody was really mean and it is fun when they respond in a nice way.
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