Reading does not accomplish anything. Reading just gives you confidence that what you are doing is right. Real learning comes from observing other people. All the social skills that I have and especially the new ones, I observe, are direct rip-offs of people I know or watched. And I never learned this consciously. This is a very interesting subject and I am thinking that this is the only thing that is really important in self improvment (the other thing is imagining things you desire (this could also be the same thing, because as U.G. says there is no difference between what you see with your eyes open or closed because you can never really see (it's just thoughts, everything you experience is something translated for you by the brain))). I want to write about this more later.
But for now here are things I can do to improve myself by watching:
- watch comedians, comedies and sit-coms (my funniness comes from a specific point of view, a sit-com reality in my head, not from memorized lines)
- watch pick-up artists in action (seeing someone do something unimaginable shifts your reality totally)
- hang around with naturals and alpha men (you just adapt their body language and things they do)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Groaning
U.G.Krishnamurti
I have been studying this guy for a couple of months. He is really messing with my head.
"U.G.: Conditioning is tradition. The Sanskrit word for it is samskara. Tradition is what you are -- what you call you. No matter how you may modify it, it continues. In life everything is temporary, and the attempt to give continuity to conditioning -- which is based upon thought -- is pathological in nature. You treat the psychological and the pathological as if they were two different things. Actually there is only the pathological there. Your samskara, the conditioning that makes you feel separate from yourself and the world, is pathological.
Where is this conditioning you talk of ...? Where are the thoughts located? They are not in the brain. Thoughts are not manufactured by the brain. It is, rather, that the brain is like an antenna, picking up thoughts on a common wavelength, a common thought-sphere.
All your actions, whether thinking of God or beating a child, spring from the same source -- thinking. The thoughts themselves cannot do any harm. It is when you attempt to use, censor, and control those thoughts to get something that your problems begin. You have no recourse but to use thought to get what you want in this world. But when you seek to get what does not exist -- God, bliss, love, etc. -- through thought, you only succeed in pitting one thought against another, creating misery for yourself and the world.
When the thought structure, pressed into the service of fear and hope, cannot achieve what it wants, or cannot be certain, it introduces what you call "faith". Where is the need for belief, or its alter-ego faith? When your beliefs have gotten you nowhere, you are told you must cultivate faith. In other words, you must have hope. Whether you are seeking God, or bliss, peace of mind, or, more tangibly, happiness, you end up relying on hope, belief, and faith. These dependencies are the tokens of your failure to get the results you desire."
A day earlier before reading this I had a vision. I was thinking about consciousness and that it is an attachment to the brain. Something new that evolution picked up. In quantum physics there is something like the Observer. The very fact that there is an observer changes physical properties of molecules. Now I imagined that there are like "observers" floating around the universe and each brain of a human captures an observer like this and that becomes "you", consciousness of humans. An observer is like an object, but without properties. Something like gravity. It is something that is there. The organism uses gravity to balance itself and also it uses observers for
conciousness.
I have no better explation of this. That was just my vision. Einstein probably imagined things like this before he went on calculating equations.
And now I read U.G. and I'm thinking that there might be just one conciousness. It is like a radio signal and the rain just taps into it. The signal is thoughts. Or one long, never-ending thought. The super-consciousness of all human beings.
There are two interesting facts about this. One is that you can have all the esources you can imagine, all the thoughts of every human that has ever existed and the ability to create everything from that. Two, there is nothing more than this wave signal, there is no "you", it is an illusion and you don't have to care to "succeed" because it is not your problem. This illusion is the attachment. It's like a hook used by the brain. It makes up an illusion that you control your actions through thoughts, because if it wouldn't seem like that it would lose the signal. This is what happens to enlightened people like U.G.. They lose the attachment to the consciousness.
So what's the conclusion from this thinking? Don't attach excessive meaning to anything because it is not your problem. This organism knows how to live and how to survive.
"The body, which is only interested in survival and procreation, treats both pain and pleasure alike. It is YOU who insist on stopping pain and extending pleasure. The body's response to both pleasure and pain is the same -- it groans"
I have been studying this guy for a couple of months. He is really messing with my head.
"U.G.: Conditioning is tradition. The Sanskrit word for it is samskara. Tradition is what you are -- what you call you. No matter how you may modify it, it continues. In life everything is temporary, and the attempt to give continuity to conditioning -- which is based upon thought -- is pathological in nature. You treat the psychological and the pathological as if they were two different things. Actually there is only the pathological there. Your samskara, the conditioning that makes you feel separate from yourself and the world, is pathological.
Where is this conditioning you talk of ...? Where are the thoughts located? They are not in the brain. Thoughts are not manufactured by the brain. It is, rather, that the brain is like an antenna, picking up thoughts on a common wavelength, a common thought-sphere.
All your actions, whether thinking of God or beating a child, spring from the same source -- thinking. The thoughts themselves cannot do any harm. It is when you attempt to use, censor, and control those thoughts to get something that your problems begin. You have no recourse but to use thought to get what you want in this world. But when you seek to get what does not exist -- God, bliss, love, etc. -- through thought, you only succeed in pitting one thought against another, creating misery for yourself and the world.
When the thought structure, pressed into the service of fear and hope, cannot achieve what it wants, or cannot be certain, it introduces what you call "faith". Where is the need for belief, or its alter-ego faith? When your beliefs have gotten you nowhere, you are told you must cultivate faith. In other words, you must have hope. Whether you are seeking God, or bliss, peace of mind, or, more tangibly, happiness, you end up relying on hope, belief, and faith. These dependencies are the tokens of your failure to get the results you desire."
A day earlier before reading this I had a vision. I was thinking about consciousness and that it is an attachment to the brain. Something new that evolution picked up. In quantum physics there is something like the Observer. The very fact that there is an observer changes physical properties of molecules. Now I imagined that there are like "observers" floating around the universe and each brain of a human captures an observer like this and that becomes "you", consciousness of humans. An observer is like an object, but without properties. Something like gravity. It is something that is there. The organism uses gravity to balance itself and also it uses observers for
conciousness.
I have no better explation of this. That was just my vision. Einstein probably imagined things like this before he went on calculating equations.
And now I read U.G. and I'm thinking that there might be just one conciousness. It is like a radio signal and the rain just taps into it. The signal is thoughts. Or one long, never-ending thought. The super-consciousness of all human beings.
There are two interesting facts about this. One is that you can have all the esources you can imagine, all the thoughts of every human that has ever existed and the ability to create everything from that. Two, there is nothing more than this wave signal, there is no "you", it is an illusion and you don't have to care to "succeed" because it is not your problem. This illusion is the attachment. It's like a hook used by the brain. It makes up an illusion that you control your actions through thoughts, because if it wouldn't seem like that it would lose the signal. This is what happens to enlightened people like U.G.. They lose the attachment to the consciousness.
So what's the conclusion from this thinking? Don't attach excessive meaning to anything because it is not your problem. This organism knows how to live and how to survive.
"The body, which is only interested in survival and procreation, treats both pain and pleasure alike. It is YOU who insist on stopping pain and extending pleasure. The body's response to both pleasure and pain is the same -- it groans"
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Reward from your master
I haven't been going out since the last blog entry so... I have been doing a lot of thinking instead. Something that I'm good at lol.
Also I have renewed my Myspace experiment. I want to see what stuff works. Now I'm using simple techniques to try to get the phone number as quickly as possible. I'm still not commited to actually getting a date and going to it but we'll see.
I realized I don't have the feelings of awkwardness that I had a couple of months ago when messaging random people. It felt stupid back then and I rationalized it and the feeling had gone after a couple tries. I will try to do this at every step of the interaction I get into. I hope this will have relevance in real life then. I think it does. If not it's still an excellent tool fo practicing flirting.
Shit... I have been trying to remind myself for the last 5 minutes what I was really gonna write about. Some strange paradox I have come up to.
2 things.
Working on my passions really makes me happy. Girls don't.
I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness to get the girls.
Happiness is a measure of are you doing the right thing from the organisms point of view.
That last thing is a new thing to my equation. Basically good feelings are rewards from your brain for you. If you think about the right things you get a reward. That's why if you think for example about what you don't have you feel bad. It's not productive to think about bad things. The brain is keeping 'you' for a reason. You are there for the brain and for the whole organism. Not the other way around. It wants to use you to fulfill its needs. The organism wants benefit from you. So you must do the right thinking. And if you do that it rewards you with feeling good.
Now I know that living in the NOW is good. I was afraid that it is an illusion. That this creates happiness but it is just a feeling there that can destroy my vision and goals. The reality is the organism is making you feel good because living in the now, or meditating is the RIGHT WAY OF THINKING.
So back to my equation. I'm willing to sacrifice happiness... but I really don't have to. If I am unhappy in persuading girls it is just because I am thinking or doing the wrong thing. Or the person is wrong and I must change something. That's all.
This organism (me) wants girls too (heck it's the reason it exists) and it knows way better than me how to get them, without reading Double Your Dating. I'm just making it harder because of my thinking. And that's why I feel bad when I overthink and don't do what's right.
Also I have renewed my Myspace experiment. I want to see what stuff works. Now I'm using simple techniques to try to get the phone number as quickly as possible. I'm still not commited to actually getting a date and going to it but we'll see.
I realized I don't have the feelings of awkwardness that I had a couple of months ago when messaging random people. It felt stupid back then and I rationalized it and the feeling had gone after a couple tries. I will try to do this at every step of the interaction I get into. I hope this will have relevance in real life then. I think it does. If not it's still an excellent tool fo practicing flirting.
Shit... I have been trying to remind myself for the last 5 minutes what I was really gonna write about. Some strange paradox I have come up to.
2 things.
Working on my passions really makes me happy. Girls don't.
I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness to get the girls.
Happiness is a measure of are you doing the right thing from the organisms point of view.
That last thing is a new thing to my equation. Basically good feelings are rewards from your brain for you. If you think about the right things you get a reward. That's why if you think for example about what you don't have you feel bad. It's not productive to think about bad things. The brain is keeping 'you' for a reason. You are there for the brain and for the whole organism. Not the other way around. It wants to use you to fulfill its needs. The organism wants benefit from you. So you must do the right thinking. And if you do that it rewards you with feeling good.
Now I know that living in the NOW is good. I was afraid that it is an illusion. That this creates happiness but it is just a feeling there that can destroy my vision and goals. The reality is the organism is making you feel good because living in the now, or meditating is the RIGHT WAY OF THINKING.
So back to my equation. I'm willing to sacrifice happiness... but I really don't have to. If I am unhappy in persuading girls it is just because I am thinking or doing the wrong thing. Or the person is wrong and I must change something. That's all.
This organism (me) wants girls too (heck it's the reason it exists) and it knows way better than me how to get them, without reading Double Your Dating. I'm just making it harder because of my thinking. And that's why I feel bad when I overthink and don't do what's right.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
The original feeling
I found out a new technique for motivation. This was done after a lot of
thinking on how the brain works. A while ago I realized that I do things
because I DECIDE to do it. This is true but the fault of it was that I thought
deciding is a logical process. Well it is an emotional thing. For example: we
are sure of something only when we have a feeling of "sureness". So this
brings me to the question of - how to do something, something that you want.
Well you have to have an emotional reason for it. Here's the technique (which
needs to be field tested btw, I used it only on simple stuff and there is
always the risk that new techniques always work because they are interesting
for the brain and it is willing to try it out at least once):
I'll use a general example of approaching a lady.
When you first see a woman you get a gut feeling about her. This can be
anything from a variety of emotions: "I want to do her", "I wonder what's she
about?", "I wonder if she would be a good wife?" etc. Now if that was the only feeling you would get cold approaching would be done
automatically. This is why the 3-second rule works for many guys. But for me,
I have a very hyper-active hippocamp or whatever it is called (the part of the
brain that regulates your social behaviour) and it blocks those feelings and
replaces it with others that prevent you from approaching. Now there are many
ways to deal with bad feelings. You have to get rid of them. You do it by ACCEPTING them. After that they just flow out as useless pieces of data. What you are left then is... nothing. I had this problem a couple months ago. My confidence was at the top of the world and yet still I didn't approach. I didn't have any EMOTIONAL REASON for it. So if there was no reason, there was no gain. If there was no gain, there could be only loss. Hence nothing can be done! So the solution is something I am proud of.
When you get rid of the negative feelings you have to get back to that original feeling you got when you first saw the person, for example: "I want a piece of that". That emotion will make you approach.
Now I will go and test this, hopefully return with a positive report of some kind.
thinking on how the brain works. A while ago I realized that I do things
because I DECIDE to do it. This is true but the fault of it was that I thought
deciding is a logical process. Well it is an emotional thing. For example: we
are sure of something only when we have a feeling of "sureness". So this
brings me to the question of - how to do something, something that you want.
Well you have to have an emotional reason for it. Here's the technique (which
needs to be field tested btw, I used it only on simple stuff and there is
always the risk that new techniques always work because they are interesting
for the brain and it is willing to try it out at least once):
I'll use a general example of approaching a lady.
When you first see a woman you get a gut feeling about her. This can be
anything from a variety of emotions: "I want to do her", "I wonder what's she
about?", "I wonder if she would be a good wife?" etc. Now if that was the only feeling you would get cold approaching would be done
automatically. This is why the 3-second rule works for many guys. But for me,
I have a very hyper-active hippocamp or whatever it is called (the part of the
brain that regulates your social behaviour) and it blocks those feelings and
replaces it with others that prevent you from approaching. Now there are many
ways to deal with bad feelings. You have to get rid of them. You do it by ACCEPTING them. After that they just flow out as useless pieces of data. What you are left then is... nothing. I had this problem a couple months ago. My confidence was at the top of the world and yet still I didn't approach. I didn't have any EMOTIONAL REASON for it. So if there was no reason, there was no gain. If there was no gain, there could be only loss. Hence nothing can be done! So the solution is something I am proud of.
When you get rid of the negative feelings you have to get back to that original feeling you got when you first saw the person, for example: "I want a piece of that". That emotion will make you approach.
Now I will go and test this, hopefully return with a positive report of some kind.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Strike 2
I don't GIVE my qualities and MAKE a woman feel something for me. I HAVE these
QUALITIES and that's why they want me.
The buyer needs my qualities and I need to sell them properly.
--------------------
Feelings that might be caused by bad doyles (I need to trace these out):
Feeling sleepy at social events
--------------------------
I'm so excited. I found out what I screwed with my HB and why she isn't
contacting me. This blog by a chick explains all
http://nycpolly.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_nycpolly_archive.html.
Women seek validation when they talk about feeling bad or talking about their
insecurities. As a man I naturally am disgusted by it or shove it away or offer a logical solution. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Just validate them and voila!
"
Me: i took them. somehow this process has bummed me out a bit. Not sure why, but ya can't control your emotions... (looking for validation)
IBF: I could tell. (strike one)
Me:Sorry to be a downer. (again, looking)
IBF: It's okay hon. (strike two)
Me: I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll get over it. (looking again)
IBF: Well... it's okay to feel like that. We can talk about it later if it'll help. (Yes, finally.)
Me: You're wonderful, you know that? (Reward for validation)
IBF: I'm just me hon.
Me: No nausea btw. I feel fine. How's your day goin? (more reward)
IBF: Going okay... just plugging along... kind tired. How are you feeling? Any better? Are the pills making you sick? I'm so concerned. (Yes! Perfect!)
Me: Awh. You're sweet. I'm feeling fine actually. No side affects yet. And am feeling better emotionally.
IBF: Rain rain rain. Bored.
Me: I have stomach cramps. :-( (HELP! THIS IS BAD!!)
IBF: Yucky hon. How are you otherwise.
Me: Otherwise ok but the cramps suck. :( (YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME, THIS IS BAD!!!)
(later) IBF: Stomach feeling any better?
Me: A bit. Dancing helps. I think I'll be fine.
IBF: Well... Get some rest.... I'm gonna call it an early night. I'm beat. I hope you're feeling better. Talk to you tonight. Of course you can crash if you're not up to going home... That offer stands.
(When was this offer raised? I don't want to crash, I want lovins. Reassurance. Emotional support.)
Me: I should prob go home. And you prob need a break from me. :)
(This is where he's supposed to respond: A break from you? No, don't need that EVER.)
"
So if she complains about something, I just say "I think you're wonderful.".
Actually the above situation was strike 2 for me (or maybe strike 3?).
The first one was when she texted me something along the lines: "I'm off from
work chilling out". That's all. I played it cool and texted her I'm busy. She
wanted to talk then. She wanted reasurance that we're going to meet or sth.
Hm now I see why relationships are a totally different game. The real problem
is that I am looking for fun and she is looking for cracks in her search for
in ideal boyfriend.
---------------
How to eliminate desire?
Accept the fact that you want her!
QUALITIES and that's why they want me.
The buyer needs my qualities and I need to sell them properly.
--------------------
Feelings that might be caused by bad doyles (I need to trace these out):
Feeling sleepy at social events
--------------------------
I'm so excited. I found out what I screwed with my HB and why she isn't
contacting me. This blog by a chick explains all
http://nycpolly.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_nycpolly_archive.html.
Women seek validation when they talk about feeling bad or talking about their
insecurities. As a man I naturally am disgusted by it or shove it away or offer a logical solution. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Just validate them and voila!
"
Me: i took them. somehow this process has bummed me out a bit. Not sure why, but ya can't control your emotions... (looking for validation)
IBF: I could tell. (strike one)
Me:Sorry to be a downer. (again, looking)
IBF: It's okay hon. (strike two)
Me: I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll get over it. (looking again)
IBF: Well... it's okay to feel like that. We can talk about it later if it'll help. (Yes, finally.)
Me: You're wonderful, you know that? (Reward for validation)
IBF: I'm just me hon.
Me: No nausea btw. I feel fine. How's your day goin? (more reward)
IBF: Going okay... just plugging along... kind tired. How are you feeling? Any better? Are the pills making you sick? I'm so concerned. (Yes! Perfect!)
Me: Awh. You're sweet. I'm feeling fine actually. No side affects yet. And am feeling better emotionally.
IBF: Rain rain rain. Bored.
Me: I have stomach cramps. :-( (HELP! THIS IS BAD!!)
IBF: Yucky hon. How are you otherwise.
Me: Otherwise ok but the cramps suck. :( (YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME, THIS IS BAD!!!)
(later) IBF: Stomach feeling any better?
Me: A bit. Dancing helps. I think I'll be fine.
IBF: Well... Get some rest.... I'm gonna call it an early night. I'm beat. I hope you're feeling better. Talk to you tonight. Of course you can crash if you're not up to going home... That offer stands.
(When was this offer raised? I don't want to crash, I want lovins. Reassurance. Emotional support.)
Me: I should prob go home. And you prob need a break from me. :)
(This is where he's supposed to respond: A break from you? No, don't need that EVER.)
"
So if she complains about something, I just say "I think you're wonderful.".
Actually the above situation was strike 2 for me (or maybe strike 3?).
The first one was when she texted me something along the lines: "I'm off from
work chilling out". That's all. I played it cool and texted her I'm busy. She
wanted to talk then. She wanted reasurance that we're going to meet or sth.
Hm now I see why relationships are a totally different game. The real problem
is that I am looking for fun and she is looking for cracks in her search for
in ideal boyfriend.
---------------
How to eliminate desire?
Accept the fact that you want her!
Juggler's genius
Christian Carter:
Here are a few examples of the advice you'll
hear from the people around you:
- Act a little "bitchy" because men secretly like
it
- Go hang out where "good men" are likely to be
and you'll meet a great guy
- Be active, have fun and keep a busy and
interesting life of your own
- Don't act clingy or needy
- Don't expect to meet any good men in bars,
clubs, party places, etc.
- Meet men while doing things you like to do so
you have similar interests
- Let him initiate... wait for him to call you or
ask you out
- Play a little bit "hard to get"
-----------------------------------------------------
Juggler method forum:
APPROVAL REVERSE - Start giving approval
"So the thing you do when you talk is that you are approval giving instead of approval seeking. This comes down to that you don't need other people to like you. But you want other people to like you.
That's the key of skipping seeking approval. And instead start giving approval. Since you know that by giving approval people will like you. If the approval is genuine."
"The Alpha of the group is not the one doing all the talking, but the one everyone wants to talk to. Be approval giving not approval seeking. It makes sense that people will like you if you give approval! You just have to do it at the right time so they feel they deserve it.
There is less pressure on me because I don't have to talk more than anyone else in the group. I just need to reward and relate enough so people want to talk to me.
This is a great idea. I can't wait to put it into action!"
"For me being quiet isn't attached to your personality. The reason people are quiet is because they don't feel comfortable to express their personality. There values and their inner feelings. There view of seeing things.
The way to start being comfortable expressing your personality is by learning how to communicate and communication works."
--------------------------------
Why do people want me if I disqualify myself?
I have been great at this all my life.
Here are a few examples of the advice you'll
hear from the people around you:
- Act a little "bitchy" because men secretly like
it
- Go hang out where "good men" are likely to be
and you'll meet a great guy
- Be active, have fun and keep a busy and
interesting life of your own
- Don't act clingy or needy
- Don't expect to meet any good men in bars,
clubs, party places, etc.
- Meet men while doing things you like to do so
you have similar interests
- Let him initiate... wait for him to call you or
ask you out
- Play a little bit "hard to get"
-----------------------------------------------------
Juggler method forum:
APPROVAL REVERSE - Start giving approval
"So the thing you do when you talk is that you are approval giving instead of approval seeking. This comes down to that you don't need other people to like you. But you want other people to like you.
That's the key of skipping seeking approval. And instead start giving approval. Since you know that by giving approval people will like you. If the approval is genuine."
"The Alpha of the group is not the one doing all the talking, but the one everyone wants to talk to. Be approval giving not approval seeking. It makes sense that people will like you if you give approval! You just have to do it at the right time so they feel they deserve it.
There is less pressure on me because I don't have to talk more than anyone else in the group. I just need to reward and relate enough so people want to talk to me.
This is a great idea. I can't wait to put it into action!"
"For me being quiet isn't attached to your personality. The reason people are quiet is because they don't feel comfortable to express their personality. There values and their inner feelings. There view of seeing things.
The way to start being comfortable expressing your personality is by learning how to communicate and communication works."
--------------------------------
Why do people want me if I disqualify myself?
I have been great at this all my life.
Friday, September 29, 2006
You just need to unlearn
What if there was nothing to learn?
What if I could just be myself?
.
.
.
I was watching Conan O'Brain this night and was observing him talking to people. I thought "Hey I can do that" and I realized have been excellent all my life. I have had a great conversational style all my life. I have somehow lost it now. I always flirted with women in a specific way, being a goof ball, acting dumb. Now that I look back at it I see that women were attracted to my personality when I did that. What if I could just do that. Make a method out of it. Just go up to women and be that guy, have that old funny style and then progress things further with the new knowledge.
I am slowly starting to realize that I really need to unlearn stuff. There is just stuff that I need to throw out of me. If I could just walk up to girls and be assertive in my interaction and lead it to where I want I could do whatever I'd want to. Just be myself.
I need to sarge random girls and just start talking, develop my game naturally. Tap into that frame of mind when going out.
What if I could just be myself?
.
.
.
I was watching Conan O'Brain this night and was observing him talking to people. I thought "Hey I can do that" and I realized have been excellent all my life. I have had a great conversational style all my life. I have somehow lost it now. I always flirted with women in a specific way, being a goof ball, acting dumb. Now that I look back at it I see that women were attracted to my personality when I did that. What if I could just do that. Make a method out of it. Just go up to women and be that guy, have that old funny style and then progress things further with the new knowledge.
I am slowly starting to realize that I really need to unlearn stuff. There is just stuff that I need to throw out of me. If I could just walk up to girls and be assertive in my interaction and lead it to where I want I could do whatever I'd want to. Just be myself.
I need to sarge random girls and just start talking, develop my game naturally. Tap into that frame of mind when going out.
Juggler method
A guys mistake in LTR. He was losing his frame:
http://www.mysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21726
"I relied exclusively on my girlfriend for validation.
Without anymore validation coming in from other women, I started to slowly rely on my girlfriend for my validation… Exclusively."
I need to meet other women.
-=======================
Juggler's Seduction School MP3 breakdown
Don't drink alcohol (diet coke, water on the rocks)
Anxiety is built on time - just go and talk to the first person that looks friendly
Have an open mind - build attraction, don't seek it
Juggler:
Friendly, I like meeting people vibe
"Hi, you look interesting so I've decided to come sit next to you, what's your name"
"So what is it like living in London?"
Statement showing that you're really interested + question.
"Since I love meeting new people you've got to tell me everything about yourself"
Have something to say about every topic that comes up. Try to pick out stuff from her, be genuinly interested in the topic.
"What got you into riding horses?"
Show that you're impressed. Make them feel good.
"How does it feel being on top of a 2 ton beast? I would be totally scared"
"So who are you with here?"
"I thought your boyfriend would come and beat me up because I'm hitting on you or something..."
"Really? You're an adventure girl."
Disqualify yourself.
"I can climb like a meter."
"How do you feel about american guys?"
"Where have you travelled?"
"So can you teach me how to rock climb?"
"How do you call a..."
Johnny
"Hey listen we should go grab a drink ... but only if you pay"
"That's so rude" response -> "If my mom heard me saying that she would upset too"
"I buy a drink for you, you buy a drink for me and we'll surprise each other"
"You gotta surprise me"
"So what were we talking about?"
"You never told me what is your passion?"
"Hang around with friends..."
"That's actually really cool. I miss my friends in ..."
"What do you do for a living?"
"What do you study?"
"I actually remember the first day before school I was really nervous."
"What else do you wanna talk about?"
"I love talking to my friends, what are you guys talking about?"
"What's your relationship situation?"
Innuendos indicating that she is hitting on you.
"Don't be pressumptious"
"What's the guy of your interest?"
"By looking you deep into your eyes, I have to say you're the least attractive girl I've ever met"
"You're dirty, I like that... not that much though"
"How do you and your friend know each other?"
"Where's your favourite place to travel?"
[A lot of good looking men down there] "I would fit in horribly then I guess"
"Now you're making me want to go to France, I don't know why?"
"I knew that would happen, I would give you a compliment, you would get a big head, and then I would regret dong it"
"So we should go to France"
"Together?"
"No not together, separetaly"
"I ment serendipitisly we would run into each other"
"You're so forward"
"Yeah whatever"
"Put in your phone number ... so you don't forget our plans for France"
Juggler:
Be a bit rude, like a friend.
"How do you guys all know each other? Is that your girlfriend ... no? Good I'm gonna hit on her, I'm gonna put my moves on her"
What kind of woman do you like?
"Tell me a joke"
"OK I'll tell the first joke ... now it's yor turn"
"I love women that make me laugh, I find that very sexy"
"So what's the most exciting thing you've done today?"
-- mine "What age are kids the cutest?"
"Tell me something else that is interesting"
"Because I'm lazy"
"Who you here with?"
"I'm gonna go meet your friends and convince them to buy me a drink"
"Do you chat up random women?"
"Only the cute ones"
"But don't get a big head though"
"What is your relationship situation?"
"Friends warn me about single girls, she's single? She must psychotic"
"Ask me a question"
"We made out last week, I can't believe you can't remember"
"Where are you from?"
"I can't tell you, I have to show you"
"Put out your hand"
"I don't think you're friendly, I think you're sexy"
"I pay for the... if you pay for the..."
http://www.mysterymethod.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21726
"I relied exclusively on my girlfriend for validation.
Without anymore validation coming in from other women, I started to slowly rely on my girlfriend for my validation… Exclusively."
I need to meet other women.
-=======================
Juggler's Seduction School MP3 breakdown
Don't drink alcohol (diet coke, water on the rocks)
Anxiety is built on time - just go and talk to the first person that looks friendly
Have an open mind - build attraction, don't seek it
Juggler:
Friendly, I like meeting people vibe
"Hi, you look interesting so I've decided to come sit next to you, what's your name"
"So what is it like living in London?"
Statement showing that you're really interested + question.
"Since I love meeting new people you've got to tell me everything about yourself"
Have something to say about every topic that comes up. Try to pick out stuff from her, be genuinly interested in the topic.
"What got you into riding horses?"
Show that you're impressed. Make them feel good.
"How does it feel being on top of a 2 ton beast? I would be totally scared"
"So who are you with here?"
"I thought your boyfriend would come and beat me up because I'm hitting on you or something..."
"Really? You're an adventure girl."
Disqualify yourself.
"I can climb like a meter."
"How do you feel about american guys?"
"Where have you travelled?"
"So can you teach me how to rock climb?"
"How do you call a..."
Johnny
"Hey listen we should go grab a drink ... but only if you pay"
"That's so rude" response -> "If my mom heard me saying that she would upset too"
"I buy a drink for you, you buy a drink for me and we'll surprise each other"
"You gotta surprise me"
"So what were we talking about?"
"You never told me what is your passion?"
"Hang around with friends..."
"That's actually really cool. I miss my friends in ..."
"What do you do for a living?"
"What do you study?"
"I actually remember the first day before school I was really nervous."
"What else do you wanna talk about?"
"I love talking to my friends, what are you guys talking about?"
"What's your relationship situation?"
Innuendos indicating that she is hitting on you.
"Don't be pressumptious"
"What's the guy of your interest?"
"By looking you deep into your eyes, I have to say you're the least attractive girl I've ever met"
"You're dirty, I like that... not that much though"
"How do you and your friend know each other?"
"Where's your favourite place to travel?"
[A lot of good looking men down there] "I would fit in horribly then I guess"
"Now you're making me want to go to France, I don't know why?"
"I knew that would happen, I would give you a compliment, you would get a big head, and then I would regret dong it"
"So we should go to France"
"Together?"
"No not together, separetaly"
"I ment serendipitisly we would run into each other"
"You're so forward"
"Yeah whatever"
"Put in your phone number ... so you don't forget our plans for France"
Juggler:
Be a bit rude, like a friend.
"How do you guys all know each other? Is that your girlfriend ... no? Good I'm gonna hit on her, I'm gonna put my moves on her"
What kind of woman do you like?
"Tell me a joke"
"OK I'll tell the first joke ... now it's yor turn"
"I love women that make me laugh, I find that very sexy"
"So what's the most exciting thing you've done today?"
-- mine "What age are kids the cutest?"
"Tell me something else that is interesting"
"Because I'm lazy"
"Who you here with?"
"I'm gonna go meet your friends and convince them to buy me a drink"
"Do you chat up random women?"
"Only the cute ones"
"But don't get a big head though"
"What is your relationship situation?"
"Friends warn me about single girls, she's single? She must psychotic"
"Ask me a question"
"We made out last week, I can't believe you can't remember"
"Where are you from?"
"I can't tell you, I have to show you"
"Put out your hand"
"I don't think you're friendly, I think you're sexy"
"I pay for the... if you pay for the..."
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Be the Prince Charming
All my life I have been approval seeking in social situations. Now it has left me a lot of neural networks that work to "read peoples" minds. So when I'm focusing on the needs of the person I tend to be very manipulative.
I can shift my thinking by shifting states! I have to train this, especially in social situations. It's like changing a lense on a camera.
If I shift states I get different meaning so I act differently.
Pook:
The need of the woman is a prince charming:
"The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE."
I must change my state to that and all will follow.
Only through failure I can learn. I embrace pain and failure!
"I know, I know. I can hear you saying, "But I must worry about mistakes or else I'll have another 'learning experience' on my hands."
This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is ALWAYS a good thing and should NEVER be feared.
The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all."
-----------------------------------------------------------
All the do this, don't do that's in mind that are coming up when I'm thinking of a specific issue are really just my parents voice coming up. I need to bet on myself and only then I can succeed.
I can shift my thinking by shifting states! I have to train this, especially in social situations. It's like changing a lense on a camera.
If I shift states I get different meaning so I act differently.
Pook:
The need of the woman is a prince charming:
"The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE."
I must change my state to that and all will follow.
Only through failure I can learn. I embrace pain and failure!
"I know, I know. I can hear you saying, "But I must worry about mistakes or else I'll have another 'learning experience' on my hands."
This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is ALWAYS a good thing and should NEVER be feared.
The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all."
-----------------------------------------------------------
All the do this, don't do that's in mind that are coming up when I'm thinking of a specific issue are really just my parents voice coming up. I need to bet on myself and only then I can succeed.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Power of the salesman
I have had trouble lately with my girl. If a relationship is not moving forward it is going backwards. That is exactly what is happening. I've been feeling really down about this lately. I can turn this around and feel good about it because I learn A LOT from my mistakes.
"The greatest secret of life is, in order to get something you can't need to have it."
I finally understood what is the difference between a good salesman and a bad one. Focusing on the needs of the buyer.
Of course I knew this for a long time but haven't actually realized what I was doing right and what I'm doing wrong. For example: Getting into a sexual state to attract a girl is different than being a horny asshole. Being sexually attractive is focusing on the needs of the girl because that is what she wants, she wants a sexual man. But being horny and thinking only about touching her and becoming mad at all failed attempts or her doing something that turns you off, or her talking to much is exactly AFC behaviour. It is focusing on your needs. I want instant gratification and sex.
And that is exactly what is preventing me from achieving it.
So what I must do in my future interactions is set a goal of escalating the relationship. Getting into sexual state and escalating sexually but only by focusing ON HER NEEDS. And using that as a SOURCE of inspiration and MOTIVATION. To be focused like this I need to be confident. I'll arrange all meetings so that I am comfortable and confident. From that place of power I can do things to make her want me.
My brain will come up with ways to achieve this, I have to take control and responsibilty of what I'm doing and accept the loss that might happen because of what I will do. There will be no fear if I accept to move on because of failure.
PS. This feeling of control that I want to project is the same as sexual state! I feel it now. The big thing I didn't realize until today was: how can I be myself if I only focus on the needs of other people. I thought that is approval seeking. It is not! Approval seeking is your need! For ex. I say something to get a reaction and to feel good about what I said. Fuck that! Giving what people want is and not expecting anything in return is the definition of CHARM. That is what attracts people. I feel like I turned some wheels in my head and this is what I'm going to focus on in the next days/weeks until it becomes a habit.
"The greatest secret of life is, in order to get something you can't need to have it."
I finally understood what is the difference between a good salesman and a bad one. Focusing on the needs of the buyer.
Of course I knew this for a long time but haven't actually realized what I was doing right and what I'm doing wrong. For example: Getting into a sexual state to attract a girl is different than being a horny asshole. Being sexually attractive is focusing on the needs of the girl because that is what she wants, she wants a sexual man. But being horny and thinking only about touching her and becoming mad at all failed attempts or her doing something that turns you off, or her talking to much is exactly AFC behaviour. It is focusing on your needs. I want instant gratification and sex.
And that is exactly what is preventing me from achieving it.
So what I must do in my future interactions is set a goal of escalating the relationship. Getting into sexual state and escalating sexually but only by focusing ON HER NEEDS. And using that as a SOURCE of inspiration and MOTIVATION. To be focused like this I need to be confident. I'll arrange all meetings so that I am comfortable and confident. From that place of power I can do things to make her want me.
My brain will come up with ways to achieve this, I have to take control and responsibilty of what I'm doing and accept the loss that might happen because of what I will do. There will be no fear if I accept to move on because of failure.
PS. This feeling of control that I want to project is the same as sexual state! I feel it now. The big thing I didn't realize until today was: how can I be myself if I only focus on the needs of other people. I thought that is approval seeking. It is not! Approval seeking is your need! For ex. I say something to get a reaction and to feel good about what I said. Fuck that! Giving what people want is and not expecting anything in return is the definition of CHARM. That is what attracts people. I feel like I turned some wheels in my head and this is what I'm going to focus on in the next days/weeks until it becomes a habit.
In the head
FUN is my only goal. Expectations leads to pain.
Turn every experience into an adventure.
Great advice from MM Forum:
"Let her know that you are pleased to see her - remember - every emotion you want from her begins with you.
You are the leader, you are the man. Never forget it!"
=============
Everything is in my head. I completely turned around my thinking of a situation in a couple hours. Mostly through reading which changed my beliefs about the subject.
I've replaced a feeling of despair with a feeling of hope. This is what I did a year ago after reading Double Your Dating. New insights give a feeling of hope and a decision to try them out is extremely motivating and makes you feel good. I will keep this emotion.
Turn every experience into an adventure.
Great advice from MM Forum:
"Let her know that you are pleased to see her - remember - every emotion you want from her begins with you.
You are the leader, you are the man. Never forget it!"
=============
Everything is in my head. I completely turned around my thinking of a situation in a couple hours. Mostly through reading which changed my beliefs about the subject.
I've replaced a feeling of despair with a feeling of hope. This is what I did a year ago after reading Double Your Dating. New insights give a feeling of hope and a decision to try them out is extremely motivating and makes you feel good. I will keep this emotion.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Update
Just a small update to remind myself what has been going on. Acually I don't write a lot about my problems lately because there haven't been any. I have been really enjoying myself. As I've written a couple months ago:
"All social problems come from trying to be somebody else."
Which is just paraphrasing "be yourself". But it has gotten a lot of meaning to me lately. There is nothing realy I need to learn, I am complete. There is just baggage that I need to drop. I'm willing to drop everything now. I have been playing around with doyletics and sedona lately. Also I'll be testing some new ideas from a Hypnosis book by Rossi.
The thing that worries me on a logical level is that I have let go of any goals that I had. I don't really care about success. I wonder if letting go of emotions will help me achieve my goals. I am willing to sacrifice my well-being for achieving my goals.
"All social problems come from trying to be somebody else."
Which is just paraphrasing "be yourself". But it has gotten a lot of meaning to me lately. There is nothing realy I need to learn, I am complete. There is just baggage that I need to drop. I'm willing to drop everything now. I have been playing around with doyletics and sedona lately. Also I'll be testing some new ideas from a Hypnosis book by Rossi.
The thing that worries me on a logical level is that I have let go of any goals that I had. I don't really care about success. I wonder if letting go of emotions will help me achieve my goals. I am willing to sacrifice my well-being for achieving my goals.
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