Doing little courages works for overall confidence in the end. When I have that and I want to interact with girls I must change my frame. The shy frame, because that's basically what shyness is, is something that wants to dominate. You have to shut that down in the current moment and place yourself in the fun frame.
David D's Approaching Women:
My Problems:
- not knowing what to say or what to do
- don't want to bother her or her group
- fear of losing control
Know what you want (for now I want to create sexual tension and kiss a girl in the lips)
Psyching up just doesn't work.
The part of your brain that triggers fear wants you to consider your decision. Once you've decided that you're doing this no matter what, that part of the brain accepts that and starts helping you in achieving the goal.
Recognize your loops (patterns) so to avoid them. My loops (patterns):
> I see a woman I would be interested in > I pretend I'm not interested > I try to see if she looks at me > She leaves or I leave > I beat myself about it
Act naturally. Be yourself and it will be her that is nervous and her that is creating awkwardness.
Be overly comfortable. If you screw something up it is for your advantage, because she sees the more human side of you.
The universal mating signal. If she looks at you and then looks down. She is signalling lower status and that she is waiting for you to take control.
Only expect the best outcome (think about it right before doing something).
The riskier thing benefits more. Like start talking with the most attractive girl around first.
Write stuff to do or think on paper with you when you go out. I tend to forget about a lot of stuff and follow my patterns. Reading what to do will break the pattern, refocus you and give you ideas on what to do next.
From shy guy to don juan. Daily experiences.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage."
